Best Punny Poems

The little old woman who lived in a shoe
Wasn't the sole owner
Apparently there were strings attached
Wow that was a real groaner

I have never been a big fan of archery
Too many drawbacks, for me
Rookie pirates make terrible singers
Can't really hit the high seas

For plumbers a flush...

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A Coffee Merchant was the first man to find,
The corpse as he started off on his daily grind!
What he saw filtered through, so he had grounds
To send for the Police, to investigate what he'd found!

He’d found the corpse lying by the side of a well,
It...

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Was going to look for my missing watch
But just couldn't find the time
Simply no telling where my mind is going
This very strange mind of mine

Here's the ultimate groaner, my friends
I used to be a good tap dancer
But then one sad day I fell in the...

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It is a wonder what the mind can come up with....

Me and my friend Mary from school,
sat at the table with all of our tools.
These boys walked up and started to chat,
and me and Mary learned about their bats..
And how playing with their baseballs was...

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I know it’s shocking, and you’ll be like “Watt!?” but it’s true and i’m ex-static and you should be too. Light it sink in Faraday or two, don’t be so direct for there are alternative views. Let’s charge towards a higher current, and flow with...

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•• When a new hive is done, what do the bees do? 
Have a house-swarming party, 
and give a welcome hearty. 

•• What did the duck say to the waiter? 
"Let me have my fill, 
just put it on my bill.”

•• Why is the mushroom...

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The little old woman who lived in a shoe
Wasn't the SOLE owner
Apparently there were strings attached
Wow that was a real groaner

I have never been a big fan of archery
Too many DRAWBACKS, for me
Rookie pirates make terrible singers
Can't really hit the HIGH SEAS

For plumbers a flush...

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FUNNY  CANNY  PUNNY

            The great guy Punny
             makes fun, yet funny.
         ...

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Here's a giggle are you ready for this
Better sit down I'd say
Why do psychics ask for your name
Maybe it's a game they play

Gotta tell ya, gonna live forever
But still got a ways to go
I'm certainly not worried, no not me
Feel good right down to my...

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Was going to look for my missing watch
But just couldn't find the time
Simply no telling where my mind is going
This very strange mind of mine

Here's an ultimate groaner, my friends
I used to be a good tap dancer
But then one sad day I fell in the...

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Here’s Some Nice Poem By A, “Punny” Guy

Puns are nice, but I need a living
so I can get all life is giving,
but I don’t drive and can’t afford a chauffeur.
Each job I’ve tried just turns and kicks me.
I’m broke and need someone to, “fix” me.
If...

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What would you call the young hatchling, for fun,
Of a buzzard crossed with a flamingo?
The answer is moot ’cause it couldn’t be done,
So the joke is on you: Buzzingo!

---

(For the Buzzards and Flamingos contest sponsored by Anthony Slausin.)

Explanation, for those who might need it:
Sheldon Cooper...

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The Higgs observation just ran up the score on
Mere mortals who can’t understand what it shows; on
Attempting, I feel like both bozo and moron,
Which makes me relieved that they call it the boson....

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