Best Predicament Poems
A poet was making such clatter.
His friend ran to see what's the matter.
“I must clean all,” said he
“or my poems can't be
in Antiseptic Pentameter.”
His friend laughed at all of the chatter.
The other didn't grasp the matter.
“Eat Italian,” said he
“so your poems will be
in Antipasto Pentameter.”
“My problem with gluten's the matter
and why I must make so much clatter.
I'm allergic you see.
I'd get shakes and would be
writing in Spastic Pentameter!”
Categories:
predicament, humor, poetry,
Form:
Limerick
Where will I find that one-best thing
to say in that way that is best
better words keep falling to paper
and falling but
say I find you instead
and falling in love I keep falling
and falling
what better hoped for or said
Love is always its best
Categories:
predicament, poetry,
Form:
Free verse
O help me! I've fallen
And I can't get it up!
I'm stuck here acrawlin'
Up a Double-D cup
Now don't let us dicker
I am over the hill
Just be a mite quicker
Slipping me that blue pill!
Categories:
predicament, autumn, endurance, funny love,
Form:
Rhyme
Philosophers, down the ages,
Have strenuously tried
To figure out language:
Their numerous narratives polarize
Into two Grand narratives, a binary:
Language is referential / differential.
This binary has yielded numerous derivatives.
On the referential side, for instance,
There’s the view that language is an instrument,
As advanced notably by Aristotle, Bhamaha and Dandin.
On the differential side, we have
Saussure’s notion:
Language is a system of differences
(without any positive terms).
Derrida, for his part, widened it:
Language is infinitely differential,
As suggested by his coinage differance,
which implies: language is
slippery, radically unstable,
which, in turn, gave rise to
mind-boggling derivatives
in this postmodern world!
Some of them are: Derrida’s (own) freeplay
of the (autonomous) sign,
Bloom’s (willful) misreading,
And Lyotard’s (incommensurable) language games
(which we all play in this postmodern space willy-nilly)
All these differences have led
Often to acrimonious disputes,
Couched, of late, in a language
that abounds in ambiguity
and neatly underpinned by illogic!
The predicament of these philosophers (old or new) is:
What they and we all observe
is not language-in-itself,
but language as seen by us—
which is similar to what Heisenberg said about nature!
These disputes remind us
of the dispute among the six characters,
in the age-old parable,
which reportedly originated in the Indian Rigveda.
(but now found in several belief systems).
It’s the parable of the six men
(as narrated by John Godfrey Saxe)
Wherein the characters tried
To figure out an elephant,
which, unfortunately, none of them
Had the faculty to see:
So, one called it soft and mushy;
for another it was like a snake;
for the third, it was fan-like,
And so on.
Thus, they “disputed loud and long,
Though each was partly in the right
…and all were [rightly] in the wrong!"
***
Categories:
predicament, language, philosophy,
Form:
Free verse
An insane System by any other name
Should still be considered simply insane
A prison by any other name
Could well be the throne
Of a primitivist's brain
A lifestyle by any other name
Would prefer to be called a "subculture"
A truth by any other name
May well be an early grave
After passing around
A bit of the blame
- Do we really wanna play this same game?
Again and again?
Just for the sake of its colloquial name?
Wait-Wait-Wait!
Don't shoot me yet!
I request a fancy blindfold and a pre-lit cigarette:
I want to look super cool
Without a single regret,
When the firing squad executes me
For being such an absurdly passive threat;
Otherwise,
Honestly,
It will feel like I've squandered
Another golden opportunity...
...And obviously,
I couldn't possibly try to live
After something like this...
Categories:
predicament, angst, dark, hilarious, humorous,
Form:
Free verse
The rains did not come today
to drive the blues away
the soil is parched and cracked
the tractor is idle and parked
He has to feed the cattle
his forehead is marked by wrinkles
there is no money to feed
His family member's needs
The clouds appear and move on
floating aimlessly in the sun
the scorching rays evaporate
water body, dyke and lake
The weather forecasters give reasons
there will be a rainy monsoon season
will they be wrong again, as it is like
driving him to end his life?
Categories:
predicament, anxiety, bereavement, blue, day,
Form:
Couplet
Getting down the chimney, Santa got stuck
Belly got tautened while trying to duck
All over smeared with black soot
His face got dark like his boot
Rescue force came to move him in a truck
Dec.19.2022
~ Placed First~
A Funny Santa Limerick Poetry Contest
Sponsor- Tania Kitchin
Syllable count- 10, 10, 7, 7, 10
Categories:
predicament, celebrity, christmas, dark,
Form:
Limerick
Circuitous circular departures cleverly Sequester and
embrace Inexpressible moments of time.
Reexamine status, prevent consciousness apathy,
fabricate and reflect acceptance of self.
precisely propose to expose fallaciously filtered
fantastical trickery touched theories.
Turn tasteless translucent tall tales into stable, sturdy,
structured strands and threads of reality.
Penniless pocketless Poets put the points paralleled
and placed above onto pure white pieces of paper.
Once they find the ramble in their role they carefully
command,Clever creative content to appear from thin vapor.
Amusement, bemusement, a resplendent daring drawn
out dark dance down a solitary diabolical descent.
Lingering Layers let love live in a finely spun web of
lazy, lofty, lyrical linguistic letters; lost lurking spiders cant
reach the heights that sadness fled.
Poets are pros, pronounced proponents, that precisely
reconstruct a feelings components that fails to leave any
audience in a stoic state of stoney discontent.....
Though they tirelessly endeavor to gain a fans approval
and respect, they fail in fortunes favor.
Yet each day they commit make their art
when most would be right to quit.
Anyone can become a pro poet,
you can tell we are devoted, though it should be noted
if that's the readers intent, not a paid pro among us can
come close to turning our
thoughts into rent!
Categories:
predicament, allegory, art, dedication, devotion,
Form:
Free verse
noone listens to me
ADHERE TO PRINCIPLES
SIMPLE LIFE ABLE LIFE
Categories:
predicament, how i feel,
Form:
Haiku
It’s 1914, and Hollywood star Mabel Normand has just
helped new boy Charlie Chaplin to develop his “Tramp”
character. She is wondering if she’s done the right thing.
I gave him everything – even the walk.
He’s too priapic for his baggy britches!
Arriving here still tarred with charred old cork,
this fraud who jawed of Avignon and Sitges
while knowing neither, has the crew in stitches.
Dexterity is not the same as grace:
he’s shaping up for all-time rags-to-riches,
the parasite who rose without a trace:
but we can see beneath the comic carapace.
He’s carrying himself now like a star.
If glibness were the same as eloquence,
I haven’t any doubt that he’d go far.
The talent, if untutored, is immense.
I wish he’d just – when not before the lens –
acknowledge what’s been done for him. That loud
theatricality I tamed. The sense
of something intímate, less harsh, less proud,
I think I gave him. But his eyes are on the crowd.
He’s trying to direct us. We’re his bitches.
That script he wrote permits him to molest
some seven women, like as if his itches
are there to be indulged. The man’s obsessed.
I nurtured him and now, at his behest,
I’m served up as his plaything. I’m incensed!
The cuckoo kicks the babies from the nest,
but still the mother feeds him. My defence?
A woman’s love survives a man’s incontinence.
Categories:
predicament, film,
Form:
Rhyme
Now I officially know what it feels like for a drug addict to be scrambling on the floor trying to gather the drugs they dropped. Each each morning I put all my medication in a single medicine bottle and take them while I eat breakfast because that's what the directions say to do on the bottle. Today I had breakfast at McDonald's and had the medicine bottle precariously balanced on my center console. Well I guess you know what happened next. The bottle tipped over and all the pills went in between my seat and the center console. I could see them all sitting there even the tiniest one just out of my reach. I sat there for a minute not breathing scared that they will fall under the seat. I hatched a plan to connect three straws together and suck them up one at a time. The first two went perfectly as planned but my fish oil pill became Lodged in the straw and I panicked which caused the remaining pills to fall to the floor. So here I am in the McDonald's parking lot with my bacon egg and cheese biscuit and hashbrown getting cold digging under my car seat hoping to get lucky and find my anti-anxiety medication because I really needed it at this point. After about 15 minutes of moving the seat back and forth and accidentally sucking 3 year old French fries through my straw I was able to gather all of my pills. The fish oil pill remained stuck in one of these straws and I didn't want it to sit there and rot so I blow it out the window and accidentally took out an innocent blue jay.
Categories:
predicament, anxiety, crazy, depression, drug,
Form:
Narrative
Santa’s Predicament
Elves gave Santa the green light to go
But his sleigh couldn't move in deep snow
Santa said "have no fear
I'll put on more reindeer"
It worked and he cried out " ho ho ho."
One last call but then disaster struck
Last chimney he went down he got stuck
Had too many mince pies
That swelled belly and thighs
Was rescued by guys in a fire truck.
Written 30th November 2018
For Christmas limerick poetry contest
Sponsored by Carolyn Devonshire.
Both 9/9/6/6/9
Categories:
predicament, christmas, humorous, snow,
Form:
Limerick
Once out of a mother’s womb,
Labourers we all are,
Till we reach our tomb.
We labour for ourselves and others, day and night,
For breakfast, lunch and dinner we all fight.
Yes, we struggle day and night for our basic rights,
And motivate ourselves out of predicament during the flight of life.
Respect all fellow labourers,
Irrespective of whether they are engineers or farmers.
Don’t make it tougher for them to walk further,
By burdening them with the sharp words of predicament .
All of us are brothers and sisters,
United we stand and divided we fall,
Together, we must stand tall,
And help when we hear each other’s crying call.
Let us contribute towards untangling the world
From the clutches of predicament,
So every labourer works with joy and without resentment,
And work becomes a place of excitement and enjoyment.
Categories:
predicament, appreciation, career, endurance, friendship,
Form:
Free verse
Russian flag is a hammer and sickle
Now their president is in a pickle
Down the stairs, a messy heap
Making threats he cannot keep
Vladimir Putin's not worth a nickel.
Written December 10, 2022
Categories:
predicament, fun, humor, satire,
Form:
Limerick
Joined by the funeral, we sit down,
under the blue sky, fire watching, sequentialling
the processions. Ultimately one by one they come,
to dust, hands turned down. After close of the rainbow
there is an explosion and a transition
censored by stone age. They flee from the shrapnels
to swathe in bioluminence of death. The penury
makes a fanciest atrocity.
A pockmarked moon stands there to listen
the scandalized whispers of crulest legends
in century’s hopelessness, guilt’s bleeding.
You never chained the voice of booms. A god
mourns in fading light.
SATISH VERMA
Categories:
predicament, art,
Form:
ABC