Best Pests Poems

'Tis another glorious spring and I planted my garden with the expectation,
That I shall reap a bountiful harvest for my table with minimum frustration!

I planted the usual stuff - carrots, radishes, onions and termaters,
Watermelons, peas, corn, beans and a few hills of russet pertaters.

With the...

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Batman had some guests who outdid their stay
By making a muddle with their foul play

Robin was first, yet his diet of late
Were larva and worms that slid off his plate

Spiderman came without hesitation
Except his kids caused an infestation

By crawling about for a place to spin
And...

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rat with bushy tail
mesh trap black hole for squirrels
swimming school failures

Brian Johnston
October 22, 2015...

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Bugs, bugs that go thump in the nights
bugs, bugs do they give you a frights?
Bugs, bugs, you'll need some bats,
unless the so called bugs are rats.

Rats, rats, those nasty little things
rats, rats diseases they brings.
Rats, rats, you'll need some cats,
but those cats will hide in...

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Tis the season for frightful bugs,
found one in my bed,
even in my rug,
they seem to turn up everywhere,
even in the breath mint in my mouth,
even heard one in the rhythm
of my clock,
the other day went walking
only to discover one in my sock,
then I tried to...

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~~ In the glorious garden of life, stalkers are the weeds, slugs and snails ~~...

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Winter's gone and soon shall Spring.
Summer's close, on doors upcoming.
Wonder what its wings to bring but
awful pests and cheeks with stings...

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Fruit flies are buzzing all around me constantly.
Bed bugs won't allow me to get any sleep,
and cockroaches are infesting every thing that I eat.
How much longer before I lose what's left of my sanity?...

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We see them all as pests to be destroyed.       
For they feed upon our food crops galore.       
And invade all our homes by the score.       
They bite...

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Out of their hotels like gypsies they roam,
so we fumigate our infested home.
Foglike drugs they inhale —
roach smoke under the veil.
Dear Mary Jane makes herself right at home.

2/20/2018...

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outside my window
I see them colluding
plotting and scheming

obviously planning
for some mischievous purpose
to take over the world

they're quiet now but not for long
soon I know they'll set their plan in motion
and who knows what trouble they'll get into



AP: 1st place 2022

Posted on November 27, 2022...

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Putin would obliterate Earth
Kim Jong-Un denies Earth has worth
They want to destroy
Every girl and boy
They should try killing flies in Perth!

(and/or mosquitoes everywhere)...

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THE HIPPOPOTOMOUSE

A rare and dangerous species
is the hippopotomouse
If you get one in your attic
Then you’d better leave your house....

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Honest salesman is a semi-oxymoron
Just like an honest politician
Please do not laugh, all lawyers or
Accountants are not crooks. When the door
Is wide open a mouse, a rat, a cockroach
Would me more than happy to approach
Some politicians have tried to be better
And more credible. Some are...

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Mosquitoes rarely come at you, face to face. This is a classic sneak-attack kinda enemy, often found behind one's head, or about navel height. After a year in these tropics doing missionary work, I use DARKNESS as cover. The cellphone LIGHT attracts the enemy who...

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