Best Oohing Poems
TED
A cheating farmer called Teddy McClure
Thought that his wife knew but he wasn't sure
Oh boy she knew alright
Cos when he took a bite
Of his sandwich it contained pig manure...
AMY
A flat chested girl called Amy Sparrow
Went for a boob job down in Palermo
Now cant keep her back straight
Because of the dead weight
And she now has to use a wheelbarrow...
FLYING HERD
Have you ever thought what if cows could fly
Imagine ducking as a herd flew by
You'd have to wear a hard hat
Or risk being hit by a pat
And goggles in case you're hit in the eye...
THE LOVERS
Two lovers went in the woods all alone
Lots of oohing and aahing and a moan
They're on Utube on show
And what they didn't know
Someone filmed them from above with a drone...
FRED DYER
Did you hear about poor Freddie Dyer
Fell and mangled his manhood on barbed wire
His bits they couldn't save
But opera fans rave
His falsetto singing in the choir...
Written 29th April 2020.
Categories:
oohing, humor,
Form:
Limerick
Born in 1947
a delicate post war child
So shy was she
and nervous too
a flimsy fragile flower
who when her mother took her out
began to scream
began to shout
Her hair drew great attention
from old dears far and wide
titian with a hint of auburn
shiny and sumptuous
speckled with gold
so shy she abhorred it
old ladies adored it
as they stopped in the street
to Mother would speak
as they oohed
as they aahed
as they stroked
as they patted
ignoring the child underneath
She hated her hair
for the colour it was
and the hoards of old dears
with their oohing
and aahing
their stroking
and patting
She wanted to run
she wanted some fun
so she hatched up a plan
and with scissors in hand
she cut
she snipped
she hacked
until finally her hair
was no longer there
When Mother discovered
the damage she’d done
she screamed
and she shrieked
an attack of the vapors
sent her spiraling down
as she fell to her feet
For her beautiful girl
with her auburn hair
was now bald
not a single hair
was there
The child was delighted
no more oohing
nor aahing
no more patting
nor stroking
Over the years
her hair grew back
the shy fragile flower
she blossomed
Learning to love her auburn locks
they found her a perfect lover
This gorgeous man ~ there was no other
was rather partial to hair of red
his oohing
and aahing
his patting
and stroking
she really loved
and for 41 years they were wed
he was rather partial to hair of red...
Written 8th July 2019
I am that titian/auburn haired child…
Contest: Childhood Memories
Sponsor:Chantelle Anne Cooke
N/A
Contest: You and yours
Sponsor:Brian Strand
FIRST PLACE
Categories:
oohing, child, hair, red, true
Form:
Free verse
It wouldn't be Christmas unless there's lots of snow,
Nor would it be Christmas without sprigs of mistletoe!
What would Christmas be without jolly old Saint Nick,
And Ralphie's "A Christmas Story", that all-time classic flick!
What would Christmas be without a tree with shining lights,
And carolers singing "Silent Night" on snowy winter nights!
It just wouldn't be complete without the town's Christmas parade,
With marching bands and Santa aboard a firetruck in the cavalcade!
It wouldn't be Christmas sans greeting cards noting Santa's girth,
And much more fittingly, cards heralding a little Boy's birth!
It wouldn't be Christmas without Dad receiving the usual socks and ties,
And Mom oohing and aahing over more hot-pads to use baking pies!
Can you imagine Christmas without fruit cakes and snickerdoodles,
Candy canes, peanut brittle, chocolate creams and scrumptious strudels!
Christmas wouldn't be complete without seeing the blissful joy,
On the face of every girl and boy as they unwrap their treasured toy!
It wouldn't be Christmas without the gatherings of dear kith and kin,
At happy celebrations where love and fellowship reigns therein,
Remembering that the reason we celebrate the season most of all,
Is the birth of a Royal King to a young virgin in an humble stall!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
Categories:
oohing, christmas,
Form:
Rhyme
Spin Doctor
A crusty old spinster sat stitching
while scratching the parts that were itching
oohing and ahhing
picking and pawing
at least for the moment stopped bitching.
John G. Lawless
3/8/2016
Categories:
oohing, humor,
Form:
Limerick
Volition, orientation familiarization aahing
and oohing within restrictive paradigm molding
inviolable honorable gentility -
flagrantly, desirously, clearly boyz abandoning
willfully skirting, panting (heavily)
forfeiting abominably, (no Joe King) abiding
chomping at bit, damning delineated, or obscure
parameters, between one acceding
Earthlinked selfish living
psychosexual pining human bing,
and another ardently avowedly ambitious
altruistic agent provocateur (lol)
at first blush hinting Moulin Rouge adulation
under dim (witted) lighting accenting
individual randy salient
traits savoring tête-à-tête
tasty hors d'oeuvres accentuating
nuances highlighting flirtatious countenance
initially unconditionally stubbornly accepting
dire hormonal straits
as prickly fledgling acquaintanceship
quivers, negotiates, kickstarts abolishing
inchoate biochemical protracted coupling
conveniently interpreting accessing
breeching, catapulting Dickensian estuary,
non verbal communication nsync abridging
painstakingly erecting complex edifice
suavely, urbanely, wittily accessorising
tried and truevalue tricks acclaiming
debonair heroic manliness princely
qualities dutifully dominate directing
demure damsel in distress absconding
convincing, foreplaying, jimmying,
rollicking readily acclimatizing
challenges thrust up gracefully parlaying
most savvy serious similarly sophisticated
totally tubular testosterone tactics
versatile repartee accomplishing
dynamics cultivating atavistic romantic ballet
on duh poe whit tick abutting
metaphorical foot accoutering
trappings adorned since mythological
Adam and Eve accrediting
latter, sans virile unavoidable temptation
savoir faire verboten fruit, accelerating
action whereby unsuspecting, slithering,
lurking serpent teen accounting
rattle unheard by apse cent church fathers
subsequently excoriating, condemning, accusing,
nonetheless indomitable transcendence achieving
pinnacle of prostrate poignancy
inexpressible ecstasy acquiescing
nonpareil acquisition adulation activating
ascendence assaying administering
amorousness activating. aching.
Categories:
oohing, friendship, hyperbole, joy, love,
Form:
Free verse
I peer back through the mists of time to muse and ponder,
Christmases when a lad, giving my mind free rein to wander.
'Twas a simpler time when life moved at a slower pace.
Wonderful memories flood my soul that I cannot erase.
A canopy of lights arched over Main Street from curb to curb.
Holly wreaths were hung from light poles looking so superb!
Merchants festooned storefronts with delightful decorations.
Children's faces were all aglow with eager anticipations!
Kids pressed noses to windows as they went from store to store,
Oohing and aahing at the trains, dolls and games galore!
Later, they'd visit Santa at Woolworths Five and Dime;
They'd have their hopeful list in mind to save Santa's time!
There'd be a Yule Tree lighting and carols sung on the village square.
Santa arrived on Fire Engine Number One to end the evening's affair!
Mother Nature usually provided a couple of inches of snow.
Ah, the simple beauty of my hometown with the lights aglow!
The cops blocked High Street for kids to sled down its hill.
Flopping on their Flexible Flyers provided the village kids a thrill!
Nowadays, though lights and glitzy decorations adorn the mall,
They don't elicit that old time hometown feeling in me at all!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved
Categories:
oohing, childhood, holidaytime, time,
Form:
Rhyme
( CHERISH THIS TIME )
So your baby is here,
what joy and what pleasure.
Now your life is expanding,
to make room for this treasure.
A darling newcomer,
to have and to hold.
Her (His) smiles are more precious,
than silver or gold.
She'll (He'll) demolish your schedule,
though she's helpless and small.
She'll make her needs known,
and she'll rule over all.
See, a new parent's work,
is just never quite done.
But you'll never mind,
cause it's all so much fun.
When you hear her cute giggle,
you'll start aahing and oohing.
And she'll soon reply back,
by ga ga and goo gooing.
Those big innocent eyes,
see a world strange and new.
To make sense of it all,
she'll look only to you.
So cherish this time,
of miraculous things.
The excitement and wonder,
that a new baby brings.
Categories:
oohing, baby, , cute,
Form:
Rhyme
I can't write nuttin' worth a damn on a full stomach!
Hunger pangs fuel mine poetic juices,
yours truly moost best be famished
resembling lovely bag of bones
beyond irreparable damage
wrought courtesy anorexia nervosa
nevertheless literary masterpieces
one written quick succession after another
profusely gushes forth
unstoppable tsunami surges rhythmically
metaphorically allowing,
enabling, and providing
voluminous water logged noggin
able, ready and willing
to burst infinite outpouring
at Möbius strip cerebral seams.
Hyperbole employed
regarding above attestation
regarding conducive bodily
state to whip out
acceptable, passable and
reasonable rhyming creation
to experience and
witness poetic emancipation,
whereby until the end
of time modest glorification
endowed upon me who
imbues vast majority inspiration
of contemporaries, plus unborn peoples...
imagine renowned said
author wannabe just for kicks
(sinks false teeth
into verboten rotten apple -
oohing and aahing yum zuck)
subsequently vicious rumor affecting
millions future generations
debauched learned primates
inescapably slide into behavioral mosh pit
analogous to eventual
senescent cellular detritus
sloughed off vis a vis keratinization
anyway figuratively swinging around
deftly cycling back thru
imaginary infinite jesting loop
unlikely neither chance fame nor fortune
promises me financial materialization,
nope, not even until hell freezes over,
nor when grim reaper feasts upon
*****sapiens obliteration
witnessing every flora and fauna
molecular repurposing quantification
simulates signifying universal recycling
umpteenth big bang occurrence
erasing all cosmic consciousness
nary trace left behind
encompassing collective satisfaction
since genesis wrought life forms
wherein primitive organisms
begot reproduction fast forward bajillion years
madding crowd punctuated
planet Earth avast urbanization
essentially branding oblate spheroid
viz totally tubular vinyl city westernization.
Categories:
oohing, 10th grade, 11th grade,
Form:
Free verse
That is the first time that Santa had to make
a wise decision: to keep, or not keep Christmas?
He'll disobey the restrictions to stay at home and take
his sleight ordering the reindeer to fly away immediately
and deliver presents to all anxious children waiting
by the fireplace not too sure of he'll come oohing!
What seems so thrilling could be forgotten and be put away?
" Adorable kids, I won't miss another Christmas,
no snow can stop me and my elves are coming to help me;
lookout for me and hear my oohs, stay awake!
Check the time and expect many surprises, I will make
you happier than ever: smile, and thrill me!
If your mom tells you to go to sleep, wait until Santa arrives!
What's are those noises over the shaking house Nick asks? Why
those harmony bells and soft grunts of deer are heard?
What's that laughing sound coming from the snowy and silent sky?
Nobody is expected after midnight unless it's our dad!
Mom takes a look and exclaims with surprise
It's Santa! It's Santa. He has kept his promise!"
Mary, Jim, and Nick look up as their faces gleam,
and widening their thrilled eyes they scream:
" It's Santa! It's Santa! He finally made it to our town!
We thought that he wouldn't show up ever again!"
" I had a change of heart ", Santa confessed smiling,
" I couldn't disappoint you because of this pandemic, you are
braver than I am wearing your masks and washing
your hands often as a good deed for yourself and others;
don't let your guard down and show that you care! "
Listen to your parents and you'll be fine, this will be ending
soon and you'll play outside your favorite games! "
Categories:
oohing, anxiety, children, christmas, emotions,
Form:
Rhyme
They brought me out of storage today a day late.
Christmas was yesterday.
I am not giddy, not happy, not optimistic because usually
I get to be revered and celebrated for three or four weeks
by now,
every year, being petted and
decorated,
admired
and loved.
Not this year.
I wonder what I have done wrong?
Whose feelings have I hurt?
What could I have done differently?
Are my fiber optics working?
They plug me in.
I am as beautiful as I have
Always been. They usually decorate
Me with tiny bells and extra tinsel.
This year my fiber optics stand alone,
on my little self-stand that comes out as feet.
They do not even drape a fancy cloth around me.
Luckily my star is attached.
But they just drag me out
and plug me in.
No fanfare.
No oohing,
no ahing.
No one admired me at all on the 25th.
By then I have usually had thousands of compliments.
Each year!
What have I done?
Did I insult someone?
Am I different somehow?
At least I am still their only tree.
Right? I look around still second guessing myself.
Never suspecting it is not me at all.
It is them. Their attitude. Their problem.
Not mine at all.
I am the most miserable
Christmas tree ever this year.
Categories:
oohing, 10th grade, 12th grade,
Form:
Personification
Here he comes!
And SHE is with him!
Adoration. Love. Pure fans.
Crazy with enthusiasm for the “it” couple.
Someone screams. Others stare. This is not the Beatles.
He does not hold the door open.
Like in the movies.
She does not smile.
They do not hold hands.
Fantasy begins unraveling fast.
He notices us, and pops on the “it” smile.
There it is! We begin oohing and ahhing
in our minds, anyway, I do.
She puts on her “it” smile.
Then she opens her mouth and speaks.
Harsh ugly sounding accent.
Nasally and rude like.
They have become less than normal.
Falling from Mount Olympus with a loud crash
into the sea of abnormal and ridiculous.
Categories:
oohing, 10th grade,
Form:
Prose Poetry
Plush peacock king wears his crown with pride
Heralded as one of the features of his spring time park
Admired by thousands, refreshed daily and often
He is created from the prettiest flowers.
Majestic, regal, bold, he is but one of the masterpieces
Created by gardeners who have conquered flower-ologies.
Trussed up in the most vibrant posies at the end of each shift
Strutting his stuff, gloating at his poor brown queen of one color
She sits at the other edge of the garden, in her plainness.
Visited by almost no one, as she is as dull as he is colorful.
The meanness of nature; she understands how the mallard female feels
As she watches the two-leggeds flock oohing and ahhing around the king.
Categories:
oohing, animal,
Form:
Free verse
Lilies were aghast at the new hybrid.
She was freckled with orange spots.
How dare she! They whispered.
Some tittered.
Until the garden club ladies appeared
Oohing and praising “spotted medallion orange”.
Now all the lilies wanted to befriend her.
Categories:
oohing, flower,
Form:
Free verse
Mooing oohing barnyard zooming
Loosy goosy is gently grooming.
True blue moon is choosing looming.
Sue Boo’s moose is rooster booming.
We are through with the foolishness of you two.
Come back in a month after you move in with McGoo
There’s no need for fu dog stew, nothing to prove.
This moony barn is frankly peaceful in its wonderful groove.
Categories:
oohing, 2nd grade, 3rd grade,
Form:
Alliteration
Everyone oohing and ahhing over another blah house
Decorated so wonderfully. What? Are you kidding? Nothing special.
Boring at best. Blah. Tans and browns. Excuse me. Apricot and almonds.
Sheesh!
Decorating. A multi-million dollar business. Every house the same as the last five.
I cannot ooh or awe. I sit in disbelief that people are so easily satisfied with these clip clop houses.
No more interesting than a rusty horse shoe, which is sometimes found in some of them.
Disgusted, I turn off the TV knowing the other show I used to watch is full of glass houses.
Each almost exactly the same – with their sixty thousand dollars worth of windows.
Satisfied with my neons and my pops of vibrant colors, my oranges, and my purples,
I turn on my black light and stare in amazement that I have managed to make a haven
With color galore, out of my own sweet imagination, by following my heart.
Apricot and almonds. Blah! My colors are jalapeno, tomato, and carrot so there!
Categories:
oohing, perspective,
Form:
Free verse