Best Offside Poems

Let’s take this outside
Your turn to be objectified
Necktied offside and brutified
Come step outside
Where you can no longer hide
Now you and me can collide

You’re worse than godzilla’s bride
Torpefied and vilified
Uglified, mean and evil-eyed
Always snide and undignified

Ringside, in your false pride
the eyes of Hitler recognized
Executing his genocide
Feeling...

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running 12 men 
24 in total, puffing carbon dioxide
inhaling oxygen from the outside,
shouting a teammate from the other side
watch that space
whistle,that one is playing offside
think should do that in practice,
spectators like that on the east side,

the players, 
the passer-by
where is the wayside
not like sport field...

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Tension you can cut with a knife.
The crowd so divided.
Players with limbs so lithe.
Three long months since they last collided. 

Into the circle centre took a step.
The whistle was blown.
Next instant, the players after the ball leapt.
So competitive. So in the zone.

Brothers verses Sisters.
Husbands verses...

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Pick me, pick me, you beg and plead
You think that you just what he need
Today, you in the game, yea!
Today you get to play and that totally made your day
But you don't love the game, you love the Coach

You're getting a home visit from Coach....

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Just like football i am....
                       like a religion in all things i do
          ...

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My name is Tom Cunningham, I’m retired now but thirty six years ago I had a very strange experience that I have never mentioned to anyone until now.
It was November the seventh, nineteen eighty six, a Friday. I was working for a large company called...

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Iran's offside goal
Costa's wicked ricochet-
hushed vuvuzelas






Copyright © 2018 by Mark Toney. All rights reserved.
Published 2018 in "2018 World Cup Senryu" via wattpad.com...

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FIFA was run by crooks and became the mafia.
They selected the world cup hosts of Qatar and Russia,
but who was corrupt the most, South Africa?

All three countries never qualify but large quantities disguised
in paper envelopes allowed each one to catch the worlds eye.

As host South...

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The  Rules of Football 

I took my little boy 
to a nearby football pitch 
He said he was tired 
of playing hide and seek 
He now wanted a football 
to play around and kick 

As he clutched my hand 
I spoke to him 
and tried to make him understand 
the eleven rules of...

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My husband is really grouchy and grumpy 
Only comes alive when we have rumpy pumpy
Watches football on TV with beer in hand 
Offside rule is something I don't understand 

My husband's interest in me is on the wain
What can I do so he notices me...

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Will you make the cut?
Or settle for a shortcut?
Coaches' scuttlebutt

Execute the steal 
Professing rather than real
The truth to conceal

Blessing progeny
Highlights God's sovereignty
Not autonomy

Man's wisdom swaggers
'Til adversity staggers
Making Sandbaggers

Men try to judge Him
When self-righteousness rules them
Worthless stratagem

Respect peoples' pain
And do not rush to explain
Restrain your right...

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Written for my friends son, bowling in the picture, for his 13th birthday. 05-13-2020


The sun is shining brightly, a special day has dawned
The spectators they have no idea, the fear that will be spawned
The captains stroll out to the pitch, a coin pushed in the...

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i stood there faceless

my hands were tied

condemned and speechless

whistled offside

shocked, betrayed

silent

call it a raid

violent

the blind still leading the blind 

thanks, i’ll wait for my own kind...

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fear has negative downward effects
freezing you within its painful grip
there's a consciousness deep within
making you feel about to slip
 
Why has fear this awful power?
that numbs you into its hold
making you lose your nerve
freezing solid so very cold
 
This fear has an inconsistency
never knowing its...

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Offside the tree row
Plank the nuts and autumn leaves
As sweepers keep them....

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