Best Nuns Poems
Accept, the chastity and understanding of the spirit
A life in strict celibacy, ignore their sexual feelings
Frivolity, a path that leads straight to hell
Has God given them everything for nothing?
Disobedient nuns at the bar ... Irish Whiskey, thanks
26/08/2019
Sun :) - A-L Andresen :)
Copyright © All Rights Reserved
~ Five Lines- Poetry Contest ~
Sponsored by: Dear Heart
7th place in the contest
Categories:
nuns, angel, humor,
Form:
Verse
Last week in paper I see story old nuns some die with Alzheimer in head, others still jolly old gals think good sharp things, making jokes Bishop's small dick, like that. Turns out ones who get Alzheimer cannot write good sentence structure when teenagers before they nuns. They write essays about "Why I want be nun," this way back 1917. Them that still darn smart, they write real clever sentences when they young, say like, "Be nun for God, help world," but them fated to Alzheimer, them write, "Be nun for devil," they not understand how it work.
I used worry I would get Alzheimer so would not drink Coca Cola if in cans, for fear aluminum get me and me become stupid when old. But seeing how I make good living from writing sentences, I no worry now. No need fear aluminum cans anymore. Me can also start using again aluminate under-arm deodorant, friends stop complaining. Oh, and I know good joke about Alzheimer. "Old-timer disease." Pretty good huh.
Also them old nuns give their bodies to science. That how the science know for sure the senile dead ones have Alzheimer and not generic stupid-sickness. What I not understand is how give body to science when they give body to nobody when they alive?
What if science decide use body to experiment in disgusting way? What if science men necrophiliacs? It okay, nuns sign paper say go ahead science, my body all yours! I used to carry driver license that say, "Go ahead you science guys," me think maybe someone get head run over by truck and need new brain, can have mine if I dead. But no more. Throw license away.
There one more thing about that nun story that bother me. Why they become nuns in first place? Story in paper not even say they was Catholics. You think they was?
Categories:
nuns, death, humor, inspirational, memory,
Form:
Prose Poetry
Excitement, such excitement as we entered single file
We had all been summoned
to the empty conference room
Sister Mary Grace had led the way to switch the lights
All at once, we saw what was to be a big surprise
Centered in the room, a film projector standing tall
Sister Genevieve sat down to helm the old machine
A welcome interlude to break the boredom of the day
We learned the 5th grade class was sent to see
“The Red Balloon”
We quickly stirred to take our seats,
hushed by mortal fear
when we realized who was just about to speak
Sister Ann Marie, Head Mother, cautioned our high spirits
taking her seat as the lights were dimmed again
As our makeshift cinema began to entertain,
enthralled were we to join in the adventures on display
For those who know. “The Red Balloon” and
understand its charm, it’s easy to see why this day
remains so clear
For those who’ve not yet had the chance,
it’s still a lovely film
Full of love and life and even just a touch of magic,
it captivates
Categories:
nuns, 5th grade, children, film,
Form:
Prose
will to be diff’rent
fractals with cursive curlicues
cream-colored overalls
ostracized by nuns
and formal catechisms
with habitual fashion sense
now I’m in control
spinning like a pinwheel
with poetic enunciation
showed them, showed them all
i could take off my uniform
it’s monotone gray
Categories:
nuns, poetry, school,
Form:
Free verse
This side of our earth
Opens its doors to the sun
In the fields walk nuns
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kolkata, 02/05/2016
Categories:
nuns, allusion, birth, earth, prayer,
Form:
Haiku
Black hoodie, black gloves and a black balaclava
Allegiances born of belligerent father
A council estate with yards full of tyres
A rucksack that’s laden with tin tacks and wires
Cars outside boozers where loyalist losers
Don’t spot the briefcase with time delay fuses
One man and his neighbour of different persuasions
Soldiers and ministers weighing equations
Each side will tear you apart with their bombs
Some will send ‘letters’ to where you are from
Some cite religion or national pride
Or family honour when taking a side
Orange and green the colours of choice
BBC using an imposter’s voice
Still the news media expresses surprise
When pubs, cars and trucks light up the skies
A town-centre nightclub to which people flock
Across the street came Messrs Browning and Glock
In hands now committed to unleash their guns
They fingered their triggers... and then there were nuns
***
[During ‘The Troubles’ in Northern Ireland, whilst many individuals were targeted due to their religious persuasion, targeted attacks on any particular religious institution were, seemingly, rare. A lengthy chat with Mr Google named two Catholic priests who were deliberately killed, but only one nun who was killed when she happened-on-by a bombing; she remains the only nun killed (albeit inadvertently) because of ‘The Troubles’. ‘And Then There Were Nuns’ simply prompts the question (to which I have no answer) what would a team of gunmen do next if a group of Nuns wandered into their ‘hit’?]
Categories:
nuns, ireland, religion,
Form:
Rhyme
My daddy—he once told me
don’t ever play with nuns
they’ll hit you with their rulers
it won’t be any fun
I snuck out of that prison
and now I’m on the run
Once freed from that schoolhouse
I sunbathed in the sun
I stayed out late, I went on dates
looking out for number-one
When I think of what I went through
of all the tired repressive lies
I keep running wise, in slick disguise
my purpose is renewed
Don’t ever let ‘em tell you
you can’t have any fun
If they preach that hackneyed drivel
grab some things and run
.
.
Songs for this:
Cold Heart (PNAU Remix) by Elton John & Dua Lipa
I'm Still Standing by Elton John
Webster: hackneyed = uninteresting, unfun, dull and unoriginal.
*stolen almost directly, in spirit anyway, from that freewheeling rebel, Johnny Cash
**My first 8 years of school were parochial
Categories:
nuns, freedom, fun, humor, metaphor,
Form:
Rhyme
Nuns With Guns
Sister Agnes blessed us with a slap
Every time we talked or answered back
It was like the hand of God reached down from heaven
To numb the face, to see the error of our ways
Shock waves and stars felt with every blow
Nuns leave no marks or evidence or clues that show
Being black robed ninjas through and through
They become invisible when they shoot
As time passes, nuns grow older, wear dark glasses
Grow beards, thick ugly hairy under arms and smoke cigars
Carry weapons to class and church
Become bolder in their goals to convert the wicked
Nuns with guns become more vicious
It is the style of the day
They hide rifles under long black gowns
Next to the rosaries, used to strangle the young and dumb
You can never have enough ammunition according to the nuns
Say two Our Fathers, three Hail Mary’s and pray
Make a good act of contrition
We'll send you on your way
God blesses everyone
Nuns gun down the evil in need of exorcism
In keeping with the Catechism
Blessing Father, Son and Holy Spirit
Before unloading in the victim
More holes can only make you holy in the end
Nuns with guns have more fun
That's what they say while spraying everyone
Categories:
nuns, abuse, blessing, conflict, faith,
Form:
Free verse
Eight Nuns Running
Eight nuns running down a path far below
Ethel, Edith, Ellen, Barb each in deep snow
From the way they all look might be putting
up a gong show, till they all fall down
while they're all wearing frilly long gowns.
08/08/15
Categories:
nuns, humor,
Form:
Light Verse
A rather dashing and exquisitely designed purple weather balloon was racing against a dark grey sofa, a beach towel, a cotton bud and a statue of king Kong the eighth. Across the beaded sky joined by the sea eagles whose breakfast could always be located in a mountainside by the ocean. The barriers were to be flown over and the locked chasms were taken as an obstacle course. The p is not a pea nor is it a pee. But a p is to be said to have the most curvaceous zone and the stem is to hold the important curve. Remark but no bark. And dare to jump over there? It is ninety three miles to get over the living room. Wow. Room to grow is not a room to glow for to glow is to glimmer gradients giving goblins grits. And a little bit of sauce on a ladle is far better than a cake that is smothered and suffocated with cream. And all now please remember that a spotted cat on a rail does have a tail that accurately measures over one thousand cubic feet. Such drop drama deity of a toe. In a hooey hoody. With a ripped sock. Fashionable isn't it? Fast frog family hop hop hopping. Hahaha the stalls are singing the comedy song to a field of sheep. Hahahah the weapons are wearing skirts and waltzing. Xxxxx gesticulation Z z z Z
Categories:
nuns, aubade, blessing,
Form:
If we knew in advance that all daughters and sons
keep us up every night: yours and mine — everyone’s
(teething, peeing and screaming,
yet so INNOCENT-seeming),
we’d be living in convents like well-rested nuns.
Categories:
nuns, baby, child, children, humorous,
Form:
Limerick
An Italian priest on the other side of the ocean
wanted to dispel a widely held notion.
Most people believe nuns are old and ugly.
Others accept them as intolerant and crabby.
I have my own memories of them while in school.
Most of the ones I used to know were not cool.
As I look back, I now often feel sick.
Sister Mary Whatshername used to hit me with a stick.
Well, Father Rungi’s idea sounded like fun.
Can you imagine a beauty pageant for a nun?
Do not look for sisters on a catwalk in bikinis.
The church will not debase itself to that level of sleaze.
Instead, here is something of Father Rungi’s design:
Sisters would display photos of themselves online.
The contest would not only display exterior beauty.
It would emphasize service within the church and community.
Visitors would vote for their favorites on the site.
Many nuns in the church thought this idea was right.
However, church superiors disapproved these goings-on.
Therefore, Father Rungi’s idea for a contest was withdrawn.
From a news story found on AOL
Categories:
nuns, people, religion, father, father,
Form:
Rhyme
God guard his sons and his daughters
Return to me
For all shall see
Through song we may journey
All shall hear me
Delighted through prayers
There lies our treasures
Tears of joy to fill the void
We have deployed
Here to deliver a message
Through my precious carriage
My love shall last
Your Lord works fast
Love one another
Honor thy Mother and Father
Angels reside
Through the tear of our eye
He was risen
For it was written
Do you deny the blue of your sky
For that is I
Places of green
Which many have seen
For those who may worry
It is not too late to say sorry
To help amend
Jesus made friends
Within thee
We have conquered our enemy
Many were lost are found
Without even uttering a sound
We travel deep within your sleep
Many we shall meet
Orion made the fool
For Cygnus heart shall always rule
The Northern Cross
Which many had lost
His cross we bare
For we are there
Unexpected hand of respect
Live life with no regret
A friendly face
We may be found through grace
A drifting mind to help rewind
You may find all answers within due time
The truth shall set you free
For then you shall see
All you may be
May be found within me
Categories:
nuns, blessing, change, christian, devotion,
Form:
Free verse