Best Neanderthal Poems
Like an archaic humanoid dinosaur
you plunder through life taking no prisoners,
with your philosophical knuckles dragging on the ground.
You are a dying breed born of privilege and tenacious greed,
tendering little in life other than your selfish need.
What is it you seek in life other than your very personal comfort?
You never give a sideways glance to anyone with no chance of adding to your
circumstance; narrow minded cruelty subsidies the shutdown of any
tenderness, allowing emotional banalities to supersede integrity.
Your karmic debt is too cancerous to be free -
a lover of women among inept men,
but piteous fodder for contempt among strong women.
Neanderthal, you tossed love off the tongue like spit flung and stung my cheek with
runny dung....in disgust I turn away at your insipid attempt at manhood.
So many conquests, so little time.
The pittance you gave is but a trail of unwitting shame,
littered like Gretel's bread crumbs into a wilderness of pain...
How sad you thought such a pittance could buy my soul.
I am no longer a member of your colonial servitude,
and you are an inept fossil long past its prime.
From this moment, Narcissistic Neanderthal,
I am free.
He stands there, stripped bare, shameless, nameless, voiceless
Standing there, choice-less
No dignity, no vanity, no pity
No integrity
No eyeballs so no stare, no flesh and no hair
And no underwear
No contract, no guarantee, no warranty
No appearance fee
He stands there, stripped bare, shameless, nameless, voiceless
Sudden schoolboys-less
Museum... noiseless
NEANDERTHAL
In times gone by, now recondite,
Neanderthal, erect, upright,
spoke softly, tones so lily-white,
and tried to put the world aright.
He taught us how the flame ignites
that wearing furs will warm the nights,
just why the rolling wheel excites,
and how the beveled flint stone bites.
Before the days of dynamite
he fought his foes with spit and spite,
and swung big sticks with all his might,
and rendered death with stones in flight.
Engaged in never-ending fight
(arenas were a global sight)
he forced his forces to unite
to sate his oily appetite.
To quell rude thoughts that may incite
he ruled the realm with fly-by-nights
and culled the winds of words in flight,
and darkened minds to anthracite.
With fairy tales of evil sprites
and how the fist of freedom smites,
he washed the world with flames alight
to vanquish hoards of parasites.
Each dawn the damage brought delight,
the foe was bent, a bit contrite…
yet battled on with no respite
until the dusk and evening light.
Encamped beside the firelight
Neanderthal, that shiny Knight,
awaited morn while sitting tight
assured the end would be alright.
Yes, conquest seemed his sacred right…
Forevermore?… well, no, not quite…
Neanderthal's extinct tonight
and lies beside the Trilobite…
MORAL
The Oreo is round, not bright:
while rolling near the candlelight
at first the searing seemed so slight,
the molten cream an oversight…
NOTE:
This screed has nothing to do with the noble Neanderthal (whose brain size exceeded our own).
It has nothing to do with 'times gone by' (though who knows what future beings may see and think).
It has nothing to do with anything…
and even less to do with something…
unless of course, you think it does….
You walk real low,
knuckles almost scraping the ground
Looking at the sky up high,
scratching your jutting brow bone
You're puzzled by that round thing,
which you can't reach
You don't understand at all,
how it could be so hot
Your belly is on the growl,
telling you it's time to go on a prowl
You like it best when you can hunt
and scavenge what you want to eat
You don't like those crowded dens,
where you can get your food quickly
You're a stone-age man,
you're a neanderthal
You're a soon-to-be extinct man,
because you never learned to evolve
You see the weaker, long-haired kind,
and you hate that you have to wait
until their feeding is done
When what you urgently want to do
is try to mate with each and every one
You wipe your mouth
with the back of your hand
You grunt and belch loud
just like a cave man
You liked it better
when you could take what you see
You felt much freer
when you were swinging from a tree
You're a stone-age man,
you're a neanderthal
You're a soon-to-be extinct man,
because you never learned to evolve
You're like a cave man,
you're a neanderthal
If we had depended on you,
you would've been the death of us all
IN THE BEGINNING THEY SAY MAN WAS WINNING
AND THEN I MET YOU, NOW I'M IN A ZOO
IN THIS PLACE WHERE I'M DWELLING
THERE'S REALLY NO TELLING
JUST WHAT I MIGHT DO TO GET INTO YOU
CAUSE YOU'RE SUCH A DOLL, OOH OOH OOH,
I'M A NEANDERTHAL
I'VE DUMPED MY COLLECTION OF WEEKEND AFFECTION
A BLONDE WORK OF ART IS NOW A SPARE PART
SO WHAT'S YOUR INTENTION, I THINK I SHOULD MENTION
I'M FALLING APART, YOU'VE CAPTURED MY HEART
YOU'RE SUCH A DOLL, OOH OOH OOH,
I'M A NEANDERTHAL
WELL, I'M BACK IN THE STONE AGE
A BONE IN THE NOSE AGE
WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I'M IN A MASTADON STEW
TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH
A HUGE SABER TOOTH
AIN'T SCARY ENOUGH
TO KEEP ME FROM GETTING TO YOU
YOU'RE SUCH A DOLL, AAH AAH AAH
I'M A NEANDERTHAL
YOU LOOK SO TERRIFIC, I'M PALEOLITHIC
I'M MISSING A LINK, DON'T KNOW WHAT TO THINK
THIS FEELING'S EUPHORIC, I ACT PRE'HISTORIC
SO CLOSE TO THE BRINK, IN NEED OF A DRINK
YOU'RE SUCH A DOLL, I'M A NEANDERTHAL
THIS LOVE IS VOLCANIC, I'M FEELING TITANIC
I'LL PUT IT TO USE, TAKE OVER FROM ZEUS
RULE MOUNT OLYMPUS, YOU AS MY MISTRESS
BUT I KNOW IT'S NO USE, I'M TOO HIGH ON YOUR JUICE
YOU'RE SUCH A DOLL, I'M A NEANDERTHAL
I'VE ANSWERED THE CALL, I'VE TAKEN THE FALL
YOU'RE THE CAUSE OF IT ALL, AND I'M HAVING A BALL
YOU'RE SUCH A DOLL, I'M A NEANDERTHAL
OOOH, OOOH, OOOH, I'M A NEANDERTHAL
Cave man writes poems
Six foot six under three hundred
Bearded and balding
No training high school English
I’m having fun none-the-less
HEY! HEY!
Mr. Neanderthal Man
Where did you get those looks?
Hey pretty boy! Seen pictures of you
In my Ancient History books
WOW! WOW!
What a great physique
Unmatched in these here parts
Should enter a Mr. Universe Contest
In a new category set apart
BAD! BAD!
Didn't mean to offend you
You do have redeeming factors
Lighting a fire rubbing sticks together
And avoiding nuclear disasters
HEY! HEY!
Mr. Neanderthal Man
Have you been living under a rock
Or are you much like us guys today
With faults like the rest of the flock?
© Jack Ellison 2012
In his heart is burning aggression
And violence is his lifelong confession
And sure he might wear nice shoes and a tie
But that's a masquerade mask to suit the lie
A barbarian in heart and mind
He rarely fits in with the civilized kind
Dancing on his victim's grave
He assuredly is a dastardly knave
Devilish desires feed his fury
Quelling the fire inside he seeks to bury
There is no sense in the violence
But also no peace in the silence
Your voice is not noise
Even if powerful people it annoys
If allowed to continue the meandering neanderthal
Will be the fall of it all
It is so cold
I feel
Like
A robot
Stove
No
Warm
Me
With
My old
War surplus
Gasbag
Viet Nam
Pants
Pulled
Over
My
Jeans
My
Body
Wants
Sex
My
Mind
Wants
Friends
Cooling
Already
To
A compromise
The
Inflatable
Santa
Next
Door
Just
Collapsed
Car
Screeching
Away
Ha
Ha
No
Point
In
Putting
Up
Those
Christmas
Lights
Tomorrow
Is there
it
Is
Raining
And
I
Miss
Carol
She
Gave
Me
The
Pants
After a
Protest
When
My skeleton never grows fat
I wonder who my stomach is feeding
This morning,
I had rocks for breakfast
I owe my existence some roughage
I’ve logged thousands of mileage
But my feet haven’t taken me everywhere
I’ve started counting down the years
And at 33, I can start to imagine a time when I’ll be no more
And in my eternal silence, other thoughts will speak
Other lives will evolve whilst I go extinct
This damn fly on my lip
How do they survive the cold?!
I’m still alive in this shithole damn it!
Man this cave man, this cave!
And no, this is not a frown,
Granted, you’ve never seen me smile
It’s just my world is just upside down
And so I am
Your heaven, my hell
And my hell, oh well, let’s just say you don’t want to ‘snow’
If the animal migrations don’t return, I don’t know
Let me wear my polar ice cap and go outside
Build a fire to smelt the ice
I need to water the garden
We’re in a drought and the children need to grow
And 28'000 years from now when I’m older, I’ll be glad I was a gardener
Because I won’t mind the food chain churning me into compost
And my fossils are displayed in the museum as the ‘missing link’
And those rocks I ate, convince Indiana Jones that I was ‘dumber’ than a rock
If time travel were possible,
the period I would want to visit most of all
would be that time long ago,
when Europe was covered with snow.
When we walked Among the Neanderthal.
Two different species of human,
but still very much the same.
Our common ancestor evolved differently
due to climate and terrain.
*****Heidelbergensis emerged out of Africa
into Europe and Western Asia,
but then the ice age came and the species became segregated
due to vast deserts, seas and glacier.
The ice age gripped Northern Europe.
Polar conditions were most of the continent.
*****Heidelbergensis then evolved into the cold adapted Neanderthal
and became Europe's only human resident.
The Neanderthals were territorial and they lived in small family clans.
Limestone caves provided most with shelter,
it was a limited resource upon this frozen land.
The caves the Neanderthals lived in were the center of the Neanderthal’s universe.
Within the cave walls, the Neanderthals would bury their dead and give birth.
Within the cave walls they would eat, they would sleep.
Within the cave walls they would butcher their meat.
Within the cave walls they would groom, they would mate.
Within the cave walls they would even defecate.
Within the cave walls was the safest place to be.
Outside was the harshest climate known to humanity,
in an unforgiving terrain filled with wild animals stalking them,
as well as Neanderthal males stalking other clan’s women.
Neanderthal clans did not interact with each other at all
and this was perhaps their biggest and greatest downfall.
Limited contact meant limited viewpoints and limited exchanges of ideas,
and so the Neanderthal's limited survival techniques
remained the same throughout their years,
But meanwhile,
back in sub tropical Africa, somewhat simultaneously,
*****Heidelbergensis evolved into a warm adapted human.
*****sapiens, Us, You and Me,
As the climate grew warmer we too migrated up north
into the Neanderthal’s stronghold.
Neanderthal extinction was about to come forth.
Within a few thousand years, the Neanderthal ceased to exist.
The small size of their clans made them vulnerable.
They couldn't confront or protect or resist.
To continue click NEXT for Among The Neanderthal Part 2
The hairiest arm came out of the pot and slapped me.
I slapped it back, angry now, for without a head,
How could the arm do that?
My husband jumped out of his recliner.
What are you making? He asked.
His voice was shaky.
It is always shaky when I am inventing food.
Don’t worry about it, I told him.
A foot came out and kicked me in the head.
Damn Neanderthal soup!
“What IS THAT?” my nosy husband asked, running toward the hallway
Where he hid like a yellow belly.
His voice was soprano.
“It is supper,” I informed him.
“Go away.”
The hairy arm came out and I whacked it hard with my soup spoon.
“I am not eating that!” He whined.
The pot laughed.
“It is Neanderthal Soup,” I informed him, and you will eat it in droves.
Neither of us could eat it actually
As it slapped us unmercifully
knocking the soup spoons out of our hands.
Giraffes can grow up to eighteen feet tall
So pull down your shades, they can watch it all
The stripping, the foreplay
Super heroes you portray
Like Spideyman or a handsome neanderthal
I often wondered how it would be
to live with a separate specie of humanity.
2% in either direction, be it higher birth or lower mortality rate.
2% was the simple equation that decided the Neanderthal's fate.
Had that simple 2% been attained by the Neanderthal,
they'd be with us today.
I often wonder if with our children theirs would play.
2% in either direction and they would have never become extinct at all,
but they are better off extinct, I must say sadly.
Look at the way we treat each other so horribly.
If Neanderthals existed presently
I'm sure that they'd all be persecuted very gravely.
The Neanderthal's extinction simply came to be
because they couldn't compete with a human specie as intelligent as we.
The only other choice that the Neanderthals had
was to retreat and to move on or they just might make us mad,
and if we'd get mad, Neanderthal lives could be lost,
If we wanted their territory, We'd just take it by force.
The Neanderthals fate did not deserve to be received,
at least that's the viewpoint I've chosen to believe.
For 250,000 years
they endured the harshest living conditions known to humankind,
but another human specie was now encroaching
and many more of them were not far behind.
2% in either direction,
be it higher birth or lower mortality rate.
2% is the simple equation that decided the Neanderthal's fate.
Had that simple 2% been attained by the Neanderthal,
they'd be with us today.
With our children theirs would play.
They would have never become extinct at all,
but who is to say that if they survived to this day
that we'd embrace them as sister and brother.
We've come so far since then as an advanced specie
and yet look how horrible we treat one another.