Best Mayonnaise Poems

Secretly, I watch the neighbors, 
From my well-advantaged location.
Mrs. G. is complaining about her husband to Mrs. S.
No one's drama is ever as vivid as...

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For thirty years I’ve been a truckie who has driven far and wide,
Carting goods through day and night all across the countryside…
But hours spent upon...

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New Year's starts after all the holidays.                  ...

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**A Sweet Waltz**

As I kissed her lips
tasting her candy glaze
she bended ever so slowly
for a little of this mayonnaise.
And I said arise baby, 
don't stay...

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Losing my keys can be unsettling.
Not nearly as much as finding a human skull.
Waking up naked in church is a
reoccurring dream.
Pleasant is the day when...

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Just because I'm white
Doesn't mean I am nerdy
Doesn't mean I get straight A’s
And doesn't mean I wear glasses

Just because I’m white
Doesn't mean I’m always angry
Doesn't...

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Patriots and Seahawks, today head to head
Will wear the helmets; tooth and nail fight the day
University of Phoenix stadium, the beautiful Grand Canyon state
Sweat and...

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I wear a white buttoned shirt
And my friends call me four eyes
But I don't care, just slowly walk away
And give 'em my gang sign

Don't bother...

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We cook it ! Feel your tonsils tingle!
Add mayonnaise, lettuce, a pickle.
Lost both tonsils at ten
so can I ask you when
my change comes to more...

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Our table is set – it looks divine
Crystal glasses for our red wine
Silver cutlery with which to eat
Our favourite meal – oh what a treat

The...

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Mom don't feed me veggies
Don't put them on my dish
French fries and a hot dog
Is now my only wish
Mayonnaise smothered Tater-Tots
Sure would do the trick
Peas...

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He told me love was like a hoagie sandwich
He said, “You start with the bread.
It has to be the perfect bread because it is you...

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SPIDER

Eight furry legs
Approaching black blob
Screeeeeeeeeeeeeech


COCKROACH

Periplaneta americana 
Out of planet, preys on women's tuxedo
Blob of fat, smell, monster


JULIA'S HAIR

Chameleon
Gunslinger, sniper
Death,myriologue


O SPACE

A junkyard
Sepulcher of machines
Requiem

CROW

Squawk 
Squawk
Gasconade 


LIZARD

A...

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“Normality is a paved road: It’s comfortable to walk, but no flowers grow on it." Vincent Van Gogh


They tell you ‘Think outside the box’
So, ponder...

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He heard the crows, 

morning-cawing-crows,

morning-language-cawing-crows. 

There was for him, 

always, uncertainty in the cawing, 

an uncertainty he couldn’t hear,

though he tried for most of his...

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