Best Malts Poems

I want to live in a Norman Rockwell painting
Where I'm surrounded by the simple times
If you don't know what I mean let me explain it
It consists of front porch swings and Mom's apple pie

Sunday afternoons in Grandma's kitchen
Lazy fishing days down by the lake
Or in...

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Oh, latest iPad, may I hang thee,
From the nearest garden tree!

A Grinch, thou art and nothing more.
Causing me, endless problems galore!

As always, Safari is to blame?
Almost a tune, that puts me to shame.

Why is it I , who is always at fault?
I dream of joyful...

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A quaint little store on Mystery Bay,
its cast iron stove stoked with hard woods,
selling fresh oysters and catch of the day—
with local ice cream and sundry baked goods.

Optional clothing whenever low tide,
as the beach sign outside proudly claims,
but summer’s a memory, such exhibits denied,
so we...

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To know you is to love you.
You brighten my whole day.
Just what I'd do without you,
I really couldn't say.

Without you to guide me,
I'd not know what to do.
I'd prob'ly think I was okay,
I'm lucky I've got you.

Without you to point it out,
I'd miss most of...

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As I spend as little time as possible with hard-headed pompous adults
Avoiding antiquated arrogant beliefs, often set in stubborn stone,
Avoiding inane conversations and minds that have not grown,
Consuming sweet drinks, forgoing liquor for cold chocolate malts,
Dousing my hamburger with ketchup, forgoing mayo and salts,
Laughing with...

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Dear Anemuna,

Outer Space would not be the same without you, 
my silky and slimy extraterrestrial love-
To think of all the saucering we’ve been through,
the far distance beyond, down and up above.

The Andromedans whisper as we soar by, 
hearing your voice in the distant future-
Oh, how...

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Copyright 2014 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
POETIC LYRICS BY THOMAS LAM HSI-ANDRESS (KAL-EL-3000)
(To Renata, Loni, Sabrina & 'Lil Matilda, 'The' ELs!)



[ELLIE GOULDING, HALCYON, Track No. 11 (for all, or as optioned)]

WITH ONLY...ANIMALS...AS MY FRIENDS...I'M GOOD AS...DEAD!
IN THE WATER...THE DARKNESS, THE COLDNESS, THE CLOUDS...OF THE
DEEPEST SPACE!
THEIR VOICES IN...

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I should have let it go,
   theunkind words they spoke
the phrases unjustly, hurtfully said
   but you know me...
My mind thinks and mulls the words
   over and over again.
They churn like whipped shakes and malts
   until they begin...

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The place wair I live , is called Astro-sitty ! And I sure can tell u that this place is 

Pritty ! This beautiful town is the place of my dreams .

And Moest of the kids here belong 2 the teams !

In this beautiful town...

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COPYRIGHT 2014 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
POETIC LYRICS BY THOMAS L.H. ANDRESS
(Dedicated to ALL THOSE NANCIE KRANGES!)



Bust it!
This here's a TEMPO...for ALL THOSE FELLAS...trying to do what
ALL THOSE LADIES...been trying to TELL US WHAT TO DO!
HEY...BIG SHOT...WANNA CHANCE?

Rolling...Rolling...LEFT-TO-RIGHT-OR...RIGHT-TO-LEFT!
PITCHED-RIGHT...PITCHED-WRONG!
Left-to-Right...OR...Right-to-Left...OR
LEFT-BEHIND!

Are-Ya...TOO-HEAVY...or...TOO-LIGHT?
Grab-a...CUP-OR-BOWL...of...RICE-KRISPIES!
SHAPED...RIGHT-or-WRONG!

Mars-Bars...AND...MARS-AND-STARS...at-corner
BARS-IN-CARS...Cars-and-Bars!
MALTS-AND-FLOATS...or...FLOATS-AND-BLOATS!
BLOATING...LOUTS!
JUST-LOATS!

They're...MEL-LOW-AND-YEL-LOW...or...Just-BANANA-CRAZY!
SO...JUST-BE-MEL-LOW...AND-NOT
Just...Y.E.L.L.O.W.!
YEL-LOW!

Rockets-and-Stars...BUSTING-AND-GOLDEN...STARS!
AND...B-E-Y-O-N-D!
Making-Time...AND...SELLING-TIME!
CHEATING...Time...FATHER-TIME!
He's...YAWNING...YAWING-AND-LAUGHING!
So-SKIP-IT...JUST-SKIP-IT...SKIPPING-LEFT-TO-RIGHT!
AND-RIGHT-TO-LEFT!

You're-Sliding...First-to-Second...Second-to-HOME...OR
FIRST-TO-HOME!
POPPING-AND-HEART-STOPPING!

Snow-Cones...In-The-Winter...OR-SUM-MER!
When-Falling-to-First...or...in-A-LIGHT-OR-COLD...FALL!
And-Mallows...MAL-LOWS!
AND-BEARS...YUMMY-AND-GUMMY!
Yummy-and-Gummy...FOR-YA-TUMMY!
Isn't-IT...JUST-YUMMY?

PITCH-IT-RIGHT...AND...NOT-LIGHT!
QUIT-STALLING...S-T-A-L-L-I-N-G!

Are-Ya-Going-Ta...LIGHT-THE-BOARDS...or-are-ya-JUST-BORING!
JUST...LEFT-BEHIND?

Left-to-Right...and...RIGHT-TO-LEFT...MODELS-are-SMILING!
FLASHING...32!
THIRTY-TWO...WHITE-CAPS!
With...DARK-LASHES-IN...DARK-GLASSES!
WOW...LIKE-WOW!

Glasses-in-the-Dark...LIKE-WOW...THAT'S...JUST-WOW!
Left-to-Right...and...Right-to-Left...THAT'S-EXIT...STAGE-LEFT!
Don't-Be...LEFT-BEHIND!

Are-Ya...RIDING-HIGH-TO-FAME...or-Just...SHAMED-TO...LEFT-STAGE?...

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If Robert Burns met Patrick Kavanagh
who would smile who would look away
across a field of barley or potatoes
kindred spirits or in each other's way?

The ploughmen poets would adjourn
to the local pub and order single malts
and after a few glasses had been taken
tell tall tales of...

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COPYRIGHT 2014 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
POETIC LYRICS BY THOMAS L.H. ANDRESS &
LAPIDIS ANDRESS (KRYPTONIANS)

"DINOS SOARING She is My Nightlight"




Steely-Ships-to...Starships...AND...NIGHTLIGHTS!
Chrome-to-STEEL...and...QUESTION...MARKS/MARKS/MARKS!
Steely-Ships-to...Starships...AND...NIGHTLIGHTS!
Chrome-to-STEEL...and...QUESTION...MARKS/MARKS/MARKS!

When-YOU'RE-SLEEPY...NIGHTLIGHTS...and-STARLIGHT!
When-YOU'RE-SLEEPY...NIGHTLIGHTS...and-STARLIGHT!

Mars-to-ROME...AND...LARS-to-STARS...in-STARLIGHT!
Mars-to-ROME...AND...LARS-to-STARS...in-STARLIGHT!
VENUS...AND-ROSE...STARLIGHTS...STARLIGHTS...STARLIGHTS!
VENUS...AND-ROSE...STARLIGHTS...STARLIGHTS...STARLIGHTS!

In-the-BLACKEST...HOLES...STARLIGHT...STARLIGHTS-in-BLUE-LIGHT!
In-the-BLACKEST...HOLES...STARLIGHT...STARLIGHTS-in-BLUE-LIGHT!

CHOCOLATE-MALTS...AND-BLUE-CREAM-AND-STARLIGHT!
CHOCOLATE-MALTS...AND-BLUE-CREAM-AND-STARLIGHT!
Carved-GODS...AND-LEAVES...OF-PURE/24KARAT...GOLDEN-LEAVES!
Carved-GODS...AND-LEAVES...OF-PURE/24KARAT...GOLDEN-LEAVES!

PURE-GOLD...IN...PLATES...AND-FASHIONS!
PURE-GOLD...IN...PLATES...AND-FASHIONS!

When-YOU'RE-SLEEPY...NIGHTLIGHTS...and-STARLIGHT!
When-YOU'RE-SLEEPY...NIGHTLIGHTS...and-STARLIGHT!

Smooth-LONG-LEGS...IN-SMOKELESS-HAZE...AND-DAZZLING!
Smooth-LONG-LEGS...IN-SMOKELESS-HAZE...AND-DAZZLING!
ORBS-OF-DEE-LIGHT...and-PURE-ORBS...AND-PINK!
ORBS-OF-DEE-LIGHT...and-PURE-ORBS...AND-PINK!

GOD...OH-GOD...PURE-DEE-LIGHT!
GOD...OH-GOD...PURE-DEE-LIGHT!


FINI---FINI---FINI---FINI...

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Gumdrops and lollipops

Cotton candy and cakes

Creamy pudding and pies

Double malts and milk shakes

Taffy and licorice

And every ice cream too

Chocolate and caramel

Are half as sweet as you...

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Santa had an alcoholic reindeer
Who couldn't stop drinking warm beer --
   He'd drink malts and hops
   And popcorn he'd pop --
That gave Santa enough fuel for sixth gear


Entry in "Funny Reindeer Limerick Contest
       Sponsored by...

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Bread and butter on the plate
It is what everyone hates
Bread and butter on the plate
Someone is searching for a date
As morning comes alive
He began to search for his wife
He passes through the market place
With a bag on his back bending down and
Spinning around with a...

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