Best Litten Poems
A SAILOR WENT TO SEE SEE SEE. . . .
In Vladivostok, that’s a lot colder than Britain,
While my sub was in dock refittin’
After six months of sea-trials unremittin’,
I went to a burlesque show, of sailors befittin’.
In the crowds of fur-clad men sittin’,
I became a participant unwittin’
In a strangely familiar art-form, omittin’
No item of clothing and not quittin’.
She was one communist sex-kitten.
This girl unpeeled right down to her mitten:
Pink flesh was blue because it was frost-bitten -
Gave a new meaning to blue-movies yet unwritten.
All of a sudden I was smitten:
I saw her beauty was real fittin’
And thanks to stage lights she was well-litten.
It was my wife ! - and her image was spittin’ !
The last time I caught her, she promised she was quittin’ !
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Entered in Andrea's SHOW ME THE FUNNY poetry contest
The way we get from day to day,
With tortured thoughts that fade away
In bloody wrinkles of the heart,
Hoping for the next novice start.
Regardless of the goals that we pursue
And the improvements that are overdue,
The flow of life spans through all dimensions -
Reducing to good or bad intentions.
If worlds are in fact achromatically so,
In non-existence I would sadly chose to go.
What masterpiece of colors creeps between the shapes,
While talking of our version of the sour grapes?
Connections help us stay on litten paths,
Forcing our mischief into sacred baths,
Seeking enrapture as well as the ride,
Balance between humility and pride.
From fingertips to the cortex,
What we are graces the complex.
Simplicity is illusive as happiness or perfection.
Ultimately a life is bits to which we pay our attention.
A perfect page is empty
Purposefully left blank
Of lines there are but plenty
Yet no owner there to thank
No pen soils the paper
All thoughts are left unwritten
Left fruitless is much safer
No idea has been litten
The pages slowly yellow
As the ink starts to gray
Nothing there to echo
No reason for delay
The paper curls slowly
As the man picks up a pen
A single phrase left lonely
Without soul, what then?
attractive available anguished armadillo
babbled bold bald badger whose bagpipes billow
Caribbean cardinal carved a curious candy castaway
dazzling daffodils and damselflies dived into last Tuesday
eagle’s eager echoes edged eastward to eavesdrop
farsighted French fantasy fascinated a frenzied fop
Gaudy gauzy goose gathered green gingham in a glut
Handkerchief Hannah hid hairy harpoons in her high hut
Identical illusions ignored illustrious images on an iced cake
Jackal and jaguar jaywalked on Jersey Jet nicknamed Jake
Kindly kettledrum kangaroo captured Kansas kiwi and a kitten
Laryngitis Larry liberated long legged Lieutenant Litten
Macabre macaroni moved a muggy machete in the mail
Nomadic Neanderthal noticed nest hanging from nude nail
Old-fashioned omelet overbaked her overgrown tomatoes
Persnickety panda piled on plenty of posh potatoes
Quagmire’s quahog quizzed a questionable quake
Raccoon and rabbit wrestled a rattlesnake with a radish rake
Saber-toothed Sally sanctified Sudan’s soldiers with a salute
Tabernacle tabby tom tap danced with flute, violin and lute
Unskilled underwater sub was unstable and unreliable
Victory for vivacious Vivian, virtuous and viable
whimsical whales wished to be included in a Washington poem
'xact xerox of x-mas trees ‘xcited ‘xtra long xylophone
yen yielded yellow yaks which Yvonne used on bone
zealous zany zebu’s zipcode zinged into a new zesty zone