Best Leg It Poems

Excuse me please pass the salt

Excuse me please pass the salt,
I am out of luck hit by a lightning bolt,
I am sitting here quiet around this desk,
Thinking about which escape route is best.
It's a blind date set up by others,
Not someone you take home to...

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The Amputated Leg 

A human leg it is! With senses numbed the village stood around the dump;
It’s a curse! Righteous path we diverted, in shiver, the devotees driveled;
A dog might have dragged it, in what’s app, the android fingered techie drooled;
Consult the occultist, shouted the...

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i grew with my sister for months upon end
squished up and squashed in beside my best friend
we held strong together until we were due
i knew nothing at all of little white shoes

sweet tiny arms stretched to hands, fingers, thumbs
a button like nose and a cute...

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My feet, they hurt
      My nerves are shot
          First I'm cold
               Then I'm hot
   ...

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Gregor the slowest
Felt nothing but fear
To prove he was worthy
He must kill a deer
A great giant bat
Was chasing him far
He ran and he ran
Towards that tiny North star

The deer weighed a lot
Tied to his small back
He tripped and he fell
He was under attack!
He drew out...

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Have you ever played with it?
Even if just a bit.
Or thrown it.
Because you were in a snit.
Did you ever eat it?
Then throw out the pit.
Or caught it.
In your mitt.

Would you yell at it?
In a momentary fit.
Or might you with it?
Have a comfortable sit.

When annoyed by...

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Here in the brook a frightful sight I saw,
A frightful sight for sure!
Lo and behold! What an eerie beast of awe,
And knew I then 'tis most obscure.
 
How this tale would unfold I tell it true,
Of villains, of echo's in the night!
It is this and...

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Thin -------- Slimy --------- Fluky--------
Thick ------- Thicker-------- Thickest--------
Heavy------- Drown -------- Drench----------
Blood ------- Red Blood ------- Flood----------

Passion evokes something sensuous
More to it is the feeling of violence
From head to leg it flows quickly--------
As if a flowing river red portrait

Pain --------- Turbulence-------- Death-----------
Does that only mean the...

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I told my hubby I would never get a puppy ever again, 
but hey, aren’t they supposed to be a woman’s best friend?
So I scooped up Brady in my arms one warm June day,
brought him home with my daughter Ella to laugh and play. 

He...

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Mine was an awning,
I was not fawning,
crammed into my mind,
the space was just not available,
the flesh was raw and broken,
the nerves jingled every now and then,
sending painful telegrams,
blood frightened me,
as it oozed out timorously,
I did not know quite,
how to get this sewed up and good,
I...

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Busted

Me and Wife stealing Cousin Wayne
It’s then we drove due north …..
It there we met an Escort…………..Ford Escort panelvan head on destroyed
Near death was the report……….psychic said I died and got replaced by ?

The guy had a naked lady 
In the car with him
At 90...

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Feel fresh always
Without tiring hard work day long , There is no sound sleep at night :
Without a light morning walk or jog There is no free mind day long
Without light exercise, yoga or meditation ; There is no freshness day long
Without healthy food three...

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Celebrations galore on all Hallows eve
Eyes have a tendency  to play tricks and deceive
Youngsters anticipate receiving a trick or a treat
Pranksters get a thrill from watching their victims retreat
Adults have opportunity to join in the fun
Perhaps dress as monsters and bash two parties not...

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Each of them knew the end of their time together was near
Overwhelmed at times it seemed all too much to bare
Willing it to be the most impeccable night
Exquisite lingerie, champagne and candle light
The atmosphere now perfectly created
The night ahead greatly anticipated
Silky bubbles create a sensual...

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Mine was an awning,
I was not fawning,
crammed into my mind,
the space was just not available,
the flesh was raw and broken,
the nerves jingled every now and then,
sending painful telegrams,
blood frightened me,
as it oozed out timorously,
I did not knowquite,
how to get this sewed up and good,
I had...

Continue reading...