Best Kibitzing Poems

Cooped within ancient bodies, this inhabitant 
dwells amongst an elder net 
of crabby, crotchety, curmudgeonly claque 
of old folks, only a portion of population I met
which achey, flaky, kooky motley crue 
disgruntlement fed as peevish pet
aye be earnest asper assessment, 
but some getting ready and...

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a sudden Bonanza viz sexual abuse among 
faux Green Acres within Mayberry RFD
now spells showtime for The Avengers, Batman 
and Robin to Get Smart
take to heart (what haint no new bob bing beast), 

those perpetrators to forsake their Good Times
yet, who determines what constitutes, and...

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My mood is down and utterly despondent
When friend Ron doesn't show up for euchre
Michelle has him running errands again
Really miss that big old palooker

He makes the evening a total blast
With his kibitzing and strange look at things
The evening ends with nary a sad face
Totally ruckus...

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After beguiling charisma,
damnable excoriations fixedly,
gamely, horribly, insult jesting,
kibitzing, loosely mindless nattering,

outlandish pablum, quintessentially
representing senseless trumpeting,
unswervingly vapid wordy
X-DOUBLE-MINUS
yawping zest.

If ye did not already guess from thee 
above blimey claptrap, Das English flap
doodle glib human incorporates jokingly,
kookily, laughably mashedup nonsensical, 

oddly, peculiarly, questionably ridiculous, 
spluttering total unintelligible...

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Annabelle Albatross’s amazing aquatics astound audiences at Atlantic airshows.

Bill Beaver’s barrel-rolling barely bumps bobbing buoys.

Crustaceans crowd cramped coves.  Charlie Crab cowers, camouflaged creatively.

Dennis Dolphin dives deeply dragging down desirable delicacies.

Elegant electric eels electrify everything.  Edgar Eel eats extensively.

Fancy Fanny Flounder flaunts fluorescent fins.

Gigantic...

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Bedlam and mayhem in the mistress's boudoir

Nsync with variations on a theme:
of drool worthy Reuben Sandwich
(consisting of corned beef, 
Swiss cheese, sauerkraut, 
Russian dressing between slices 
of rye bread that is grilled 
until the bread is crispy 
and the cheese melts)
various and sundry
pseudo lurid fictitious...

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(or swing sets and monkey bars)

A pitch perfect spring day
such as today April 8th, 2022
within quaint hamlet 
of Schwenksville, Pennsylvania
in close proximity within mind's eye
to Lake Wobegon, Minnesota
finds me reminiscing...

When, scads of light years ago
(half life of mein kampf),
while yours truly, 
at that time a...

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Nuttin boot mieskeit goyim...
lives among this nebbish atheist of Jewish ancestry

Tongue in cheek Yiddish
humor to playfully scold
often time sounds
like a compliment
yours truly, (a run
of the mill Shlimazel) behold

only knows a smidgen,
yet grew up within household
where foter and muter
kibitzing did unwittingly mold
their second born
and modest chutzpah
regarding...

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this alteh kocker nostalgically reflects
     being ma late mama's boytchik
(now, she long since deceased,
     whose cremated remains of day

     scattered to all points on compass)
     fondly referencing 
 ...

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who left trail of heartbroken sage woman
commander in chief deliberately stoked,
née sparked long
simmering smoldering, and stewing
long festering white supremacist altercation
fiendishly igniting racial conflagration
exploding during late spring 2020.

No matter no child left behind kibitzing
(yours truly as boy plucked petals
off daisy reciting "she loves me,"
"she loves me...

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Alligator alley always answers
Bringing bulbous batches of bubbles
Creatively and curiously cavorting 
Deliberately denying and distorting
Elusive energy and enthusiasm
From freakish forwarding fanatics who foresee
Glorious globs of grotesque gossip
Hereon, hereto and herewith heralded
In illustrious illumination indicating ideas 
Joyfully and joyously justifying
Kibitzing kindnesses of kith and kin
Labelling luxurious...

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an awesome
benevolent blowy breeze
cleverly concealed, contrived
dastardly deeds of destruction
expressing excitement and enthusiasm
for faithful forever forest firs
giving giant gusts gorgeous guesses
however hardy hemlock heralded heavy happiness
independently indulged, indigenous illuminations illustrated
juxtaposed joyous jumping jiggly junipers
kibitzing killer kleptomaniacal kittens
lounging luxuriously as lemon laughing laborers lollygagged 
making monstrously melodic...

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Stretching outer limits of incredulity beyond realm of logic

In an attempt to recount how life came about on planet Earth,
thence subsequently spanning across the webbed wide world
birthed cockamamie idea within mind of then young Matthew
Scott Harris, who knew nothing about Charles Darwin Origin
of Species controversial...

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haggling a huckster’s horse trade
ignoring imaginary ideas of Iodine’s
joyful jubilant jabbering jabberwocky
kibitzing kickapoo kindnesses toward Kelly
lambasting Lilliputin leprechauns leaving Larry...

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Bad ass beauty brought bedlam, and begat bastard child...
courtesy booty call minus preemptive measures
while plugg naughty bits of tarnished knight 
while he took tea and crumpets within mistress's boudoir

The following verses typed out some years ago,
but equally pertinent and relevant to the ebb and flow
of...

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