Best Kebabs Poems
QUICK EXIT
From the kitchen came a very odd smell
Menu was in Thai so I couldn't tell
Pointed and asked what is that
The waiter said its grilled rat
Was outta there like a bat outta hell...
EYE EYE
Went out with some friends for beer and meat pies
Asked the waiter to make mine a surprise
Well I took a huge bite
And nearly died of fright
The filling was made of fish and cows eyes...
ALL YOU CAN EAT
Went to a cafe where all you can eat
Thought I'd go large and have me a nice treat
Carrots, meat and some leeks
Then I heard the squeaks
Saw the food move and went white as a sheet...
MEAL DEAL
Why do restaurants sell meals that are cheap
Thought I'd go in check one out take a peep
I didn't like what I saw
Food undercooked and quite raw
And lamb kebabs may not be from a sheep...
BURGER AND FRIES
For fries and burger I was in the mood
I went in but quickly went off my food
I'll tell you the reason why
The waiter's wore just a tie
And nothing else they were totally nude...
WHATS IN A STEW (DONT ASK)
In restaurants never order a stew
What they put in to it would make you spew
Scraps from the day before
Some scrapings off the floor
And some other bits you'll find hard to chew...
LOW LIGHTING
Low lighting creates an ambient mood
Lovers taken out to eat and be wooed
They don't want you to sue
And you would if you knew
How kitchen staff really prepared your food...
(All fiction, I hope)
Written on 18th September 2020.
Categories:
kebabs, food, humor,
Form:
Limerick
Anchored by its feet hangs the carcass
Butcher removes brisket and strings it
Chuck steak diced for stews and pies
Dark well matured silverside rests
Entrails give the dogs a royal feast
Flank minced for spaghetti bolognese
Gullet chopped into stock pot simmers
Hanging meat swings as the butcher works
Icy still from the blast chiller
Juicy steaks thickly cut are parcelled up
Kebabs skewered, placed on display
Loin of beef neatly lined up
Minced steak patties for burgers
Neck used in both stock pot and stew
Offal set aside for pate and pies
Perfectly roasted beef ready to carve
Quick flash fry of rib eye seals in juices
Rump not too trimmed dribbles on grill
Sirloin anointed by a king sizzling
Tongue gently braised in gravy or stock
Utensils casting shadows on the wall
Venison from red deer's makes tasty things
Wing rib rubbed with hot spices waits
Xhosa cattle graze in pastures green
Yellowed meats set aside for soup
Zibeline hides scrapped and cured, nailed up
8/27/2015
contest Any Poem written in August
Categories:
kebabs, food,
Form:
Abecedarian
Disco dreams and disco balls
Big city,bright lights
Pub crawls and bar fights.
Mini frocks and hair dyes
Made up faces
Mascara filled eyes.
Vodka martinis and champagne
Bus trips and black cabs
Standing in the rain.
Nightclubs and deejays
Entry stamps on wrists
And tattooed fists.
Late nights and hangovers
Fast cars and kebabs
White wine spritzers
And mishaps.
One night stands and live bands
Autographs and queues
Sing-a-longs and sad songs
And over packed loos.
One line gags and handbags
Glitter and sparkling eyes
Cigarettes and suffragettes
Gossip and lies.
Brawls,another one falls
Drunks and punks
Frilly skirts and love hurts
And late rides.
Secret kisses and front row seats
Cinema aisles
Red lipped smiles
Beauties and beasts.
Flashy cars and night time stars
Takeaways and glad rags
Silly jokes and whiskey cokes
Dreams and high hopes.
Nights out and walkabouts
Cheap thrills and teenage wonder
Hitch hikes and motorbikes
Delinquent lightning and thunder.
Categories:
kebabs, nostalgianight, night,
Form:
Rhyme
A heritage resplendent in culture and crafts
Where monuments rub shoulders with swank malls
Enticing blend of old and new
Lucknow my town always enthralls
Values well enshrined so deep within
Greets with a warmth endearing
A city with a global vision
Boasts of a legacy alluring
An array of exquisite creations
Their splendour holds us spell bound
Dreams woven into yards of fabric
A magnificence that does astound
Succulent kebabs relished by all
Medley of age old secret recipes
Sizzling in congested lanes
Take pride of place in grand feasts
Tourists find it hard to part
Leave behind their piece of heart;
Taste and grace, or class , cuisine
City of Nawabs reigns supreme.
Nov 2, 2016
Contest My kind of town
Footnote
Lucknow is the capital of Uttar Pradesh , a north Indian state, home of the erstwhile nawabs of the mughal empire well known for their sophisticated taste. Hand crafting or chikankari of world fame is a hand embroidery renowned for its finesse.Lucknow takes pride in its rich cuisine especially kebabs, made of the finest lamb mince preferred for its soft texture
Categories:
kebabs, history, home,
Form:
Rhyme
Those endless talks of
giving the fat a trim
Beauty is now the
monopoly of the slim!
Sinuous and slender
The hourglass figure
The thinner, the better.
Dieting and slimming
down tricks
ofcourse selling like hot
cakes
Tis a pity, I can't eat to
my heart's content and
desire
for rounded figures they
no longer admire.
But as long as
scrumptious samosas
keep frying in pans
and delicious pizzas
keep baking in 'em' ovens
it'd be hard to keep the
damned calorie count
or to live in fear of the
expanding waistline
mount.
Ah those mouth-
watering deep-fried
kebabs
are entirely to blame for
my yo-yo dieting!
Gosh to cut down on
cheese and butter slab
is one tough way to get
rid of body flab.
This war against weight
is weighing upon my
mind
instead of being simply
plump and straight
I gotta maintain teen
contours and curves I
find!
You do know this is a
war you've got to be
winning.
It's those extra pounds
and not the war you
have to be losing.
Or the other skinny
lasses will be staring
grinning.
Ah but all young ladies
must as well beware
dragoness Anorexia's
engulfing lair
or how her crony Bulimia
too can ensnare!
So pals better be about ill-
health precautious
rather than being overly
so weight-conscious. :)
Categories:
kebabs, food, youth,
Form:
Rhyme
Aadab the Aarab's
Favourite food was kebabs,
Be it beef, be it chicken,
He thought they were finger lickin'
With hummus and garlic dabs
authors note: i know Adab & Arab
are spelled with one
...a.....at the start but i put in
the extra ....a.....for pronunciation
of a long.....a.....sound
Categories:
kebabs, funny,
Form:
Limerick
The Truth about Narwhals
The truth about narwhals, is that they're just bags.
Majestic bags, filled up with swag.
And bags filled with swag, well, they aren't a drag.
The truth about narwhals, is that they're just unicorns.
They dress up like dolphins, but still show off their horns.
And dolphins with horns, they love to eat corns.
The truth about narwhals, is they love shish-kebabs.
They make them all day, to worship their gods.
But narwhals themselves are gods, gods of kebabs.
Categories:
kebabs, animal, education, food, poetry,
Form:
ABC
Frogs’ legs
French cuisine fad
Amphibians hopping mad
Shish kebabs
Cubed lamb chislic
Served on toothpick
Pizzas
Flatbread Italian feast
Waist measurement increased
Bird’s nest soup
Rare Chinese foodstuff
Swiftlets sleeping rough
Mexican wraps
Spicy chicken fajitas
Hot as senoritas
Seafood paella
Shrimp, lobster, cuttlefish
Saporous Valencian dish
Maple syrup
Canadians tree tap
Sticky sweet sap
Digestif
After dinner drink
Brandy glasses clink
17/09/18
'six-word couplet poetry contest' : Sponsored by: Mark Toney
Categories:
kebabs, culture, food,
Form:
Couplet
Don’t worry about being thinner
Get yourself off down the pub
Then go home to a good British dinner,
Of British traditional grub
Delicious roast beef of old England
Served up with a thick Yorkshire pud
With roast spuds and cabbage and carrots
Plus gravy in which the spoon stood
What’s wrong with a good stew and dumplings?
Made with some prime neck of lamb
Or a thick slice of home boiled bacon
Instead of that wafer thin ham
Fried eggs and bacon for breakfast
A steak that’s surrounded with chips
Some mushrooms and beans or tomatoes
Can I hear you smacking your lips?
Give me pork chops with a kidney
A helping of wild rabbit pie
With carrots and peas and thick pastry
For which old Auntie Bessie would die
Kippers, smoked haddock or winkles
Mussels or soft herring roe
Jellied eels, tripe or pigs liver
I think I might give it a go
A thick slice of cheddar is pleasant
Coated with pickle of course
Or maybe a plump well hung Pheasant
Plastered with cranberry sauce
Blackberry and apple crumble
A dollop of cream on the plate
This is making my tummy rumble
Give me some quick I can't wait
A big lump of home made bread pudding
Or maybe a nice spotted dick
Served up with syrup or custard
Providing the custard is thick
A stuffed Sheep’s heart makes a good dinner
Or a nice deep-fried black pudding ring
On a slice of fried bread, did you hear what I said?
This is food that is fit for a king
When you’ve feasted on cabbage or brussels
Don’t ever consider you’ve sinned
Just be certain your close friends and family
Are seated some distance up wind
A plateful of boiled new potatoes
Dashed with salt taste exceedingly nice
If you give them a try will you no longer buy
Bean shoots or Chinese fried rice
Avoid all these kebabs and curries
They look like they’ve been eaten before
You’ll be finding them most Sunday mornings
On the pavement outside your front door
Don’t listen to these dieticians
Between themselves they can’t agree
Nobody mentioned cholesterol
Until nineteen seventy three
Make sure all your dinners are British
Now you know the foods that I mean
We never defeated old Hitler
Eating Pasta or Nuevo Cuisine
Categories:
kebabs, foodold, nice, home, home,
Form:
We all hear about the habits of successful people,
My habits are not the same.
Successful people, whatever that means,
Their habits seem kind of tame.
I don’t read a lot, nor organize my year,
Nor ever get up bright and chirpy.
I enjoy writing my thoughts, living spontaneously,
Then waking up feeling blurry.
I dance in elevators, touch hot plates,
And practice arguments in my head.
And rather than minimizing distractions,
I live with color and music instead.
And when I’m on the phone I don’t sit
And pronounce with perfect allocution.
I walk the house laughing, joking and swearing-
It’s a trusted institution.
I would like to eat healthy, drink water, walk heaps,
And regularly go and press weights.
But I love my kebabs after a night at the pub,
Dancing, drinking and singing with mates.
Actually, the other day, I went for a run, through the rain,
In the car park, to my car.
It was a fun little run; I dodged bullets and missiles,
Pretending I was a big movie star.
Well, thinking about it, my habits are successful,
Other people’s just don’t match mine.
To me it’s about being happy, open and free, it was easy,
“Success” I would redefine.
Categories:
kebabs, fun, happy, joy, nice,
Form:
Rhyme
Katie put some chicken
kebabs in the fridge, then
kicked off her tight shoes. The
kettle boiled and she made
kiwi fruit tea. Her cute
kitten climbed onto her
knee and fell fast asleep.
K Pleiades Contest
Sponsored by Kim Merryman
Checked with How Many Syllables
03~09~17
Categories:
kebabs, cat, food, home, ,
Form:
Verse
Midnight plus fifteen, the streets come alive,
Spilling tattooed mobs, teeming motion-blurred
From the bars, karate and kung-fu moves in car parks
And upon telephone kiosk phone books.
Kebabs stinking of extra onion, chilli and garlic sauce,
Soaking up beer and chasers, churning innards;
Chinese takeaway cartons slung in gutters,
Spraying noodles and rice with random artistry.
Spiralling fumes of vindaloo, popadums and naan
Swirl, snake, samba under neon rain;
CCTV super models, skirts no more than belts
Hiked under hips, distended abdomens drooping with gravity.
Navels pierced, studded, impaled with fake silver,
Flesh faintly turning green-tinged;
The high heeled stagger continues at ankle-breaking
Precariousness; teetering and stumbling, acrobatically drunk.
Swimming heads reject the motion sickness,
And vomit starts to rise, disgorged, spattering the wet paving
With rainbows of liquid colour abstraction,
Trickled with a gleeful pale amber stress incontinent stream.
It’s easy for a casual observer to plead for escape from
This planet of the apes, but have a heart – they’re young,
Free and doomed beyond all relative conception.
Why not be cool, have fun?
Categories:
kebabs, life, people, places, social,
Form:
Blank verse
COMING HOME
I came home at last across the seas
To my home country in South Dublin,
And stood soaking up the refreshing Irish mist,
Allowing the Manchester smoke to wash out of my lungs.
O’ Connell Street was busy as usual,
And the familiar glottal stops of Arabic drifted
Out from a traditional kebab take away,
In its doorway a tin whistle player and his hat of coins.
I watched the policewomen adjusting their hejabs
And very politely controlling the football crowd -
Stragglers from Croke Park,
Heading for Guinness and kebabs for supper.
Categories:
kebabs, home,
Form:
Imagism
Lemon shortbread tastes no better on a sunny day than a rainy day but wind is inclement conditions in which to eat a flan. ? Stare not at a wandering ivy bead plant for it is intelligent enough to understand that a dishcloth cannot cook in a microwave. Never stick a twig in a cup of tea as it might frighten the passing cucumber family whose strides reach five hundred miles an hour. Even on ice. For every toothpick there is an iced bun. And over alot of coffees discussion is not a relevant useful thing as wavering kebabs on boom clouds sumasault over the ray sharks. Hahahaha and now I will eat a pickle. I carried it for eons in a suitcase. Destroy not. Waste not. And be at one with an illuminated bus stop. Felon feet fetching. *** fraternities. *** trepidation. *** talismanic tantric trees talking xxxx xenophobic *** ha
Categories:
kebabs, angel, blessing,
Form:
Chocolate chilli fudge cake
Strawberry kebabs
Millionaires' shortcake squares
Toffee apple tart
Muffin & whipped cream
Afternoon
Dream!
Categories:
kebabs, food
Form:
Epulaeryu