The Menu That Built the Empire

Don’t worry about being thinner Get yourself off down the pub Then go home to a good British dinner, Of British traditional grub Delicious roast beef of old England Served up with a thick Yorkshire pud With roast spuds and cabbage and carrots Plus gravy in which the spoon stood What’s wrong with a good stew and dumplings? Made with some prime neck of lamb Or a thick slice of home boiled bacon Instead of that wafer thin ham Fried eggs and bacon for breakfast A steak that’s surrounded with chips Some mushrooms and beans or tomatoes Can I hear you smacking your lips? Give me pork chops with a kidney A helping of wild rabbit pie With carrots and peas and thick pastry For which old Auntie Bessie would die Kippers, smoked haddock or winkles Mussels or soft herring roe Jellied eels, tripe or pigs liver I think I might give it a go A thick slice of cheddar is pleasant Coated with pickle of course Or maybe a plump well hung Pheasant Plastered with cranberry sauce Blackberry and apple crumble A dollop of cream on the plate This is making my tummy rumble Give me some quick I can't wait A big lump of home made bread pudding Or maybe a nice spotted dick Served up with syrup or custard Providing the custard is thick A stuffed Sheep’s heart makes a good dinner Or a nice deep-fried black pudding ring On a slice of fried bread, did you hear what I said? This is food that is fit for a king When you’ve feasted on cabbage or brussels Don’t ever consider you’ve sinned Just be certain your close friends and family Are seated some distance up wind A plateful of boiled new potatoes Dashed with salt taste exceedingly nice If you give them a try will you no longer buy Bean shoots or Chinese fried rice Avoid all these kebabs and curries They look like they’ve been eaten before You’ll be finding them most Sunday mornings On the pavement outside your front door Don’t listen to these dieticians Between themselves they can’t agree Nobody mentioned cholesterol Until nineteen seventy three Make sure all your dinners are British Now you know the foods that I mean We never defeated old Hitler Eating Pasta or Nuevo Cuisine