Best Kazoo Poems
I was sleeping, soundly sleeping
When I heard a loud kazoo
Then I wondered, “What was that noise?”
That had brought my dreams askew
So I got up and I went searching, searching for the loud kazoo
When I found nothing, I thought “Good, now I can start my dreams anew.”
Only half an hour passed before I heard the noise again
I needed to sleep, not many minutes, if it was possible just ten
The noise was louder still, now an echo through the halls
I did not want to hear, but the noise came through the walls
So I got up and I went searching, although my mind was out of place
When I found nothing, I thought, “How will I sleep? This noise is a disgrace.”
Only half an hour passed before I heard the noise once more
I said that “Once the sound is found, the noise will be done for”
So I looked in all the hidden rooms, behind the brooms and tombs
I even looked inside the closet, with all the old costumes
And then I found the noise, I had found the loud kazoo
It was my brother who was playing it and had brought my dreams askew
I said, “Brother I cannot sleep while that kazoo is being played”
He said Sorry, I did not know, I will play another day
Now that the main problem is solved, I can enjoy my rest in peace
Because the blowing, wheezing, and sneezing of the loud kazoo has ceased
I got up and I went searching, and I found the loud kazoo!
I am sure I won’t be awakened again, I can start my dreams anew.
Going through some of those old winter blues
Not uncommon in Canada no sun in our view
For months on end
A mood light is my friend
Brightens my mood as I play my kazoo
© Jack Ellison 2016
Growing up I always had
Some very special friends
Where we shared in everything
Even our love for Heavy Death Metal Bands
But every time one of us
Pick up an instrument
Whether banging, blowing, or strumming
We never made a lick of sense
That is until we found the jewel
That we all could play
Which turned around our tender lives
And tenderized us all that day
Now we travel the country side
With our own road crew
In a Heavy Death Metal Band
Where we all play Kazoo's
The very first Kazoo's we purchased
Came from the Five & Dime
But were able to throw down for the better stuff
Once our careers all started to climb
Now when we step out into the lights
Taking center stage
It's worth the pain in our vibrating lips
To see adoration on a groupies face
And playing lead Kazoo
Isn't as easy as it looks
You've got to hold your lips just right
To come up with those major hooks
We used to open up for other Metal Bands
Like AC/DC and Metallica
Pretty soon though our style passed them by
Leaving those sissies in top 40 dust
Because next to us they played soft rock
And when your "Axe" is a killer Kazoo
The others stand around dumb founded
With no clue of what to do
Don't get me wrong this rock and roll road
Isn't always paved in gold
Day in and day out in a Kazoo Death Metal Band
Can take away your very soul...
There once was an emigrant from Peru
Who couldn't master the art of kazoo---
It got stuck in his gums
He poured in some rum---
And now he can play 'Toodle-oo.'
Elmer Fudd learned how to play the kazoo
He felt he needed to do something new
First he would inhale
Then he would turn pale
Oops! His kazoo was a You Tube taboo
There once was a hippie played a kazoo
He'd make that kazoo do things it couldn't do --
It would sound like a horn
From Louie Armstrong torn --
He'd play taps on a harmonica too