Best Jammy Poems

I often think
In darker times
It's pointless toil
Creating rhymes

For what do rhymes
Achieve, and such?
Perfection strives
For words to clutch

Some faint idea
Some headlocked chat -
It smiles, then fades
Like Cheshire Cat

Chasing thought
Down rabbit hole
Succeed or fail
No heads will roll

From bitter world
To jammy tart
Where sweetness lives
In printed heart

No grumpy queen
No...

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Such a beautiful morning 
So quiet and serene 
Contented and yawning 
I'm living the dream. 
I lie back in my deckchair 
Emitting a contented sigh 
When landing on my chest from nowhere 
Came an exquisite butterfly.

The butterfly landed upon my hairy chest
I looked at it’s...

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Such a beautiful morning 
So quiet and serene 
Contented and yawning
I'm living the dream.
I lie back in my deckchair 
Emitting a contented sigh 
When landing on my chest from nowhere 
Came an exquisite butterfly. 

The butterfly landed upon my hairy chest 
I looked at it’s...

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Incredibly hung , 
with the one bung lung,
And kidneys not quite a failing,

He went to the dentist ,
Tooth reefed out, 
Sucked ciggys without inhaling.

The guys in the bar,
Sucked on cigars, 
Checked him, the toilet, ha,

Were enthral led with , 
The girth n gift ,
“how come...

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Such a beautiful morning 
So quiet and serene 
Contented and yawning
I'm living the dream.
I lie back in my deckchair 
Emitting a contented sigh 
When landing on my chest from nowhere 
Came an exquisite butterfly. 

The butterfly landed upon my hairy chest 
I looked at it’s...

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Forget your Greek grammar,
And your algebra, top set,
Brush aside history, economics even if your grades are a sure bet,
And I'll tell you why,
For knowledge money cannot buy,
And that's cake, yes cake.
Whether it's cheese, chocolate or creamy and layered,
You tell me what's the sure fire preference?
Another...

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When i was a wean we got everything free.from first bras to high heel shoes. ma mammy 
thought she had the cream of the crop, five braw weans what a jaw drop. dad wasn't 
working, money was tight, out came the sewing machine, she peddled...

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Sid pointed to his mouth and told Frank:

"Dentist pulled my tooth out"

"Hurt?"
 
"I"

"Why?"

"Doesn't work"

"False?"

"No, it hurt!"

"False tooth?"

"No, it was mine"

"False teeeeeeth?"
Frank said now pointing to his mouth!

Silence

Gormless 

"Tea?"

"Jammy dodger or custard cream?"

"Bourbons!"

"Not got none"

"Still got some left"

"Where"

"In my mouth!"

"Bourbons?"

"Teeth"

Without gorm, both men....

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A  LANCASHIRE  LIASON

“Laugh an world laughs with yer” she said, as she cum in.
I said,“ Do you live in a barn?” 
 She grimaced an with er large left arm she swung out an shut door.
“Are y’ ere to read last rites? No?...

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Vae victis! Her quick eyes spy out the field.
Reconnoitred, the foe's dispositions have been noted, 
quantified, assessed. The forces of order
and tidiness, in neat array, 
perfect their alignment, await onslaught.
The sentinels stand guard:
A pot of jam, a jar of marmalade are emplaced
on the strategic salient...

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SOPHIA’S POEM


Cheerios across the floor
Pen marks on the walls
Paint on my new carpet
I can’t take it all!

Books touched by jammy fingers
Chocolate on my cat
Boogies on my sofa
Who could live like that?

Bedtime’s like a war zone
Toothache, sore head, sore thumb
Can’t sleep, not tired, I’m hungry 
I...

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Tea stop


Mrs Taylor always uses Tea leaves in her giant Tea pot
Harry Taylor doesn't mind he'll drink it as long as its hot
Get out the biscuit tin you'll find there's quite a lot
Bourbon biscuits Jammy dodgers pink wafers and toffee pops
You can really dunk them...

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Well lammy he got slammy..' while karma hopes to be
Jammy.? cause in the past there were caustic blasts.'
I don't think Mr Trump really thinks thats funny? Yet
The man  has never returned that trick, maybe he was busy
Making money.? Of course he could not be...

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Man what a pig sty
honestly hope the next place is better
seriously listen to this they  in their drinking water
dump rubish and toxins in it
then take their children on roasting days to swim in it
i give it a week and its shutdown
The food aww minging
they...

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Let's applaud our 

Adored Lord Broad

Fame and awards

Crossing swords &

Bossing visiting hordes 

Name in the frame

On Lords boards


Cooing..wasn't it grand

Tanned boy with headband

Wooing the fanned stand


No wonder we're so fond

Of this towering..glowering

Powering flowering blonde


Plumping for knees pumping

Hearts a jumping

All a flutter

Tub thumping

Jaffas he's a scrumping

Utter...

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