Best Inspection Poems

Some disgusting and cute,
Many creepy and mute,

Some exotic and vain,
Mainly local and plain,

Some revolt, some amaze,
Most pest, bother and chase,

Some crawl, slither and jump,
Buzz, bite, scavenge and vamp,

Some work hard days and nights,
Others - pure parasites,

Gutsy settle indoors
To the horror of yours,

Bold get under your...

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The Restaurant Health Inspection

By Elton Camp

For the manager of the Greasy Spoon
The health inspector came too soon

The employees heard him say, “Eek!”
Then, “You aren’t due until next week!”

The inspector, with a wry grin
Proceeded to walk right on in

The manager turned pale in his face
Knowing his...

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Twas The Night Before Inspection...,

Not a human creature stirred, nor seen 
through out Highland Manor, 
     property carpeted in lush green
(a deathlike stillness descended un keen
hilly quiet, October 10th, 
     deux thousand eighteen).

Vicious rumors circulate wrenching
 ...

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deep in this morning
i the processor must clean 
set aside the wants of the day 
and do the musts, in every dust wiping way  

rub and scrub 
till its all done 
and hope i have time for a little fun 
before the night set...

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Inspection Time 2018!

Understandable dear reader, 
     how this scribe bull lime
me bloke omitted mention of 
     one bedroom flat as
reason nigh rote this rhyme

Ma faux pas faw axe pseudo dent lee 
home hitting minor specific 
 ...

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Best way to start grabbing and getting your goat

Is to row out and then much time try to devote

To all those who are sitting on sanding shore

All cheering and saying, "Tell us More, More, More.

 

Jesus seemed to be shifty and slipped in a few

Thoughts...

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Requisite inspection November 24th, 2020 at Apartment B44

Countdown triggers nails
bitten down to quick
geesh if only Mary Poppins
could pull off cheap trick
or think super tramping Glinda courtesy
film Wizard of Oz
Good Witch of the North
riding at light speed in nick
of time travelling on her

state of the art...

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High summer at the Regiment,
Admin Inspection coming around
So they placed a little saluting base
At the edge of the Parade Ground.
A coco matting covered floor
On a stout square wooden base
Which the fatigue party 
Manoeuvred carefully into place.
Now I may have worn a uniform
And been a soldier...

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So much damage there to find,
but you needed to unload the property
and the foundation cracks needed 
a quick cover up before the next buyer showed.

So you planted, life inviting and green
to hide the cracks outside
and you bought a blanketing carpet
to cover them within.

For a few...

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Meaning of perfection
Passing God's inspection!

Jesus alive in me
Realizing whole person

Follow the cross
Path to God's love

If dunked (baptized)
So be it!

Jesus is true power
Wise shepard

Going to heaven?
Look for Him!...

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Inspection took place February 17th, 2023...

At 1330 hours (indicated
courtesy notification slipped under door
less than twenty four hours)
hence foretold ill fate
by property (crooks and quade) management
the head honcho zaftig, wanker,
(who replaced the warden)

and Rich (BOLD FACE 
text mode) the snitch
at Highland Manor Apartments
re: looming eviction implication
cuz...

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Requisite inspection June 29th, 2022 at Apartment B44

Aforementioned title and following
little known verses of Matthew
finds me feeling squeamish, 
peevish, anguish, et cetera
at our (the missus and mine) digs,
cuz low income rental housing regulations
require safe and secure place to live,
hence unpleasant inspection
scheduled at least once per...

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The enlistment oath he took gravely to fulfill his obligation,
To defend the Constitution and to honorably serve his nation
He always looked sharp, wearing the Air Force blue with pride,
Adhering to the values of God and country was his constant guide.

He always prepared meticulously for every...

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Inspection Time 2018!

Dum...dum...dum...dum...DUH -
     anxiety shot thru stratosphere upon
     good news notification aboot
a fortnight from this last
     Friday of August tooth

     house sand date teen,
    ...

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Upmteenth (re:) inspection revisited...

I experience dread-nought
until April 19th, 2022 becomes yesterday
when troubles with management
here at Highland Manor
hoop fully temporarily alleviated.

Yours truly and the missus
personal living space
otherwise known as Unit B44
encroached, obtruded, and violated
predicated upon fruit fly infestation
justifying purported request for entry
into our one bedroom apartment.

Anticipatory...

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