Admin Inspection

High summer at the Regiment,
Admin Inspection coming around
So they placed a little saluting base
At the edge of the Parade Ground.
A coco matting covered floor
On a stout square wooden base
Which the fatigue party 
Manoeuvred carefully into place.
Now I may have worn a uniform
And been a soldier by name
But i preferred to play
Very unmilitary games.
So, every night I visited 
That special little place 
And ceremoniously and seriously
Passed water on the saluting base.

How I loved the thought
That the building smell 
Would make of that area
A pungently urine smelling hell.
Alas, all good things 
Must come to their end
Because sadly I was discovered
By an equally discontented friend.
And before I knew it
Every single night
Folk were treated 
To the unedifying sight  
Of an ever growing band
In the process of urination
On that little coco matted 
Official saluting base station.

Discretion being the thing
And the damage being done
We ceased operation and left
Further action to that  of the sun.
Having sadly been posted for
Unspecified but suspected crime
I was not present there 
Come Admin Inspection time 
So I never did find out
If it all went well  
And the Inspecting Officer suffered
My planned olfactory dose of Hell
So many many years later
In odd moments of leisure
I like to think it did, and that 
Gives me such intense pleasure.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2022

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Hankins Avatar
September 25, 2022 at 9:27 AM
Oh my, this is funny. You must have hated the Admin Officer to pull such a dastardly trick on him. Sorry you got caught.
Ireland Avatar
September 25, 2022 at 4:42 PM
Many thanks. No, it wasn’t personal, l was just a square peg in a round hole. Finally they tried to Court Martial me for subversion and insubordination, and I took Redress Of Agrievance against. the GOC, BAOR., and we parted amicably enough.
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