Best Ikea Poems

My muse had a good idea,
Let's flood the world with Ikea!
Dysfunctional kits, there and here,
For guns and bombs,
No one would care,
They would be assembling Ikea,
Each kit, four missing bits,
Wrong pictures to give them the blip,
Globally occupied with dysfunctional Ikea,
Now isn't this a good idea,
Peace on...

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An aardvark walked into IKEA
Why he did that I have no idea
Ignoring their calls
To try the meatballs
He searched for some ants out the rear

He does ‘civilised’ when he’s able
So found a flat pack dining table
He’d built one - not ever
In inclement weather
And thus it was...

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It came with 10 pages of instructions
It came with all its own tools
But it had its own agenda
To make me out to be a fool

I laid the parts out carefully
They covered my floor from wall to wall
I sat and looked bewildered at the task before...

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So, this is death by Bunnings,
This is so not funny,
So much for a store of hardware,
Then it's on to death by Ikea,
What am I doing here?
This is really true fear,
Esoteric death by Ikea,
I've got absolutely no idea,
I've come home with a kit,
Comprising a zillion bits,
Some...

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by Bob Moore ©2018

I don’t like Ikea, the place is like a maze
if my wife was not with me, I’d be lost in there for days
following the arrows, as you go from place to place
people must have hours to spare, as they stroll at a...

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Do you ever think about film characters in the realms of reality?

Think about someone like Grima Wormtounge making Saruman a pot of tea?

What about the eye of Sauron trying to find someone to play monopoly or Frodo, giving the ring to Gollum so he can...

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