Best Humerus Poems

The human skeleton,
is made up of 206 bones
By jove, they are hard,
as if made of stones!

The brain you think with
is in the Skull or Cranium,
the Maxilla and the Mandible
are for chewing bubble gum.

It's atop the spine
which has 33 Vertebrae in all
You're sure gonna break it
if...

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In Nursing School

In nursing school they have us learn all the proper medical words,
Because in Greek and Latin we defecate, but we never make turds,
And what's worse than learning about all these dreadful diseases
Is forgetting my English to replace it with obfuscating medicaleses,
Lest we forget...

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I was working out back, while under the palms
I've a tendon-cy to stand under the limbs
to focus my eyes, and digest the surrounding glands cape
Plantar-d there on the ground was a carpenter ant 
that caught my attention, and that is a fact!

Disarming he was, determined...

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Joey Contemplating a Skeleton

By Elton Camp

The teacher told Joey to learn each bone by name
And that there were only about 206 of the same
The parietal, temporal and occipital are in the head
At least that’s what the biology teacher then said

The atlas and axis are two...

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A vicar once said to a nun
Why don’t you and me have some fun
She yawned and said, “Look,
I’ve got the good book,
So, just let me know when you're done.”

*

19 May 2023
Contest: Funny, Bawdy or Humerus
Sponsor: Tania Kitchin...

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Hassan harbours hard-worn hardship in his heavy homeless heart

Drones dereliction devastation and dire disintegration of daring dreams

Dear daughter dead at dawn Delisiha demised dismembered decapitated 

Harbingers of hell in heaven heaving with helter-skelter and hatred


Skinny skull surreal surrender to salvation and suffering’s solitude

His maimed mind...

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Author's note: This is an epic length poem that will have to be split into parts and will be serialized in successive posts.

Part 3


our subject awoke 
while still dark everywhere
dark with agony 
an amputee's life 
is not an easy one
bedsores the size of Antarctica 
morphine...

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If function is king, then there aren’t any Types,
but the living show us that’s simply not true.
The class tree is ordered according to forms
and not by the functions a critter can do.

So here’s a conundrum you might find odd:
a superclass known by the name Tetrapod.
Vertebrates...

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Dance with your skeletons
Fling the closet doors wide 
Throw open the blinds
Let the sunshine inside

Dance with your skeletons
You know that I’m right
For they have no backbone
When held to the light

Dance with your skeletons
Introduce them to friends
And eventually
Your collection will thin

So bring out those old bones...

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                        When someone stumbles and falls on their ass;
            we find...

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Humor is easy to explain, 
It often comes from pain.
A leg broken times numerous,
Fractured my ribs, so humerus.
Because it's all about perspective,
You prospectively prospective-

Actually, I'm not really all that funny..
Sorry.....

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The Wife of Bath
       She made me laugh
     Can't recall now precisely why

     It's something she stirred
       with her foot in her mouth
  ...

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Humorous? This could be one;
rhyming rules are numerous,
jumping through hoops nearly fun
as bumping your humerus…


An Ae Freislighe, an Irish quatrain with abab and 2-syllable and 3-syllable end rhymes on lines 7 syllables in length. Poem should start and end with same word(s), but I used...

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Proffered no reprieve, led was I like cow 
By clinic’s nurse to slaughterhouse, I thought, 
The wise me cursing the rebel me now, 
All mute, betwixt devil-pain-and-doc caught. 
Take thermal waves— weighty words waft from her, 
And every day— we can’t let it get worse—
She,...

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From marrow to vein the thin thread of memory drags another new malignancy out into the light.
I shall tuck it, as a gift, within Destot’s space and leave it to harden and calcify until it’s colour is pale and stony.
This new seed inside my hidden...

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