In Nursing School

In Nursing School In nursing school they have us learn all the proper medical words, Because in Greek and Latin we defecate, but we never make turds, And what's worse than learning about all these dreadful diseases Is forgetting my English to replace it with obfuscating medicaleses, Lest we forget that great chemical known as adenosine triphosphate Which is the powerhouse of the cells, or did she say an exudate? And though I've been to India and seen the river Ganges, I never knew my fingers were really called phalanges, And we must learn about colitis, encephalitis and diverticulitis, But I hope these germs don't decide to get up and bite us. You can't find out a lot about someone by palpating the patella, Not even if the patient is female, or if he is a fella. And we must distinguish anemia, diarrhea and gonorrhea From the almost identical condition known as leukemia. Sex is one thing, I think, not one of us has time for, For after school it's off to work until you're blind or Wishing you had never heard of cellular necrosis, Not to mention the hundred kinds of psychoses and neuroses. And then there's that other major hurdle called getting adequate funding, And if you can't get a loan or a grant they'll have you do the plumbing. It seems the clinical locations are never really near ya, In fact most of them are deep inside Siberia, And if out in the Sun recall that your skin can get tumorous, For the study of medicine is serous – very, and hardly ever humerus. Your medical books will have you believe you've every disease known From autophobia to an ecchymosis to cerumen on the bone. But at least there are no bullies insisting we are all big wimps, For studying things like urine, saliva, bile, blood and lymph; And if there's one more part with the outlandish name of buccinator, I think I'll lose it all and become a hallucinator.