Best Huckster Poems

My mother thinks I'm a doctor
I just don't have the guts
To tell her I spent all my college doe
On beer, wine, women and such

So after I faked my graduation
Said I was moving to the South
To help the less fortunate among us
Another lie I let slip...

Continue reading...

Two Words
 
Dream
Scheme

Beam
Team

Shout
Pout

Duel
Shot

Life
Death

Brain
Drain

Stupid
Cupid

Dumb
Numb

Rum
Thumb

Prosecute
Electrocute

Einstein
Infinity

Immigrant
Us

Atom
Bomb

Strength
Weakness

Love
Hurt 

Fate
Destiny

God
Cosmos

Lucifer
Lost

Passion
Torpid

Feelings
Flatline

Politician
Huckster

Glorious
Despicable

Moon
Mars

Space 
Race

Beguile
Style

Truth
Lie

Cake
Pie

Bicycle
Tricycle

Car
Jar

Balloon
Burst

First
Last

Lust
Like

Fist
Fight

Right
Write

Left
Deft

Genius
Idiot

Manners
Rude

Give
Take

Rate
Deflate 

Washington
Jefferson

Hamilton
Burr

Trump
Nixon

Hitler
Wotan

Karloff
Lugosi

Frankenstein
Dracula

Foot
Fall

Think
Blink

Popcorn
Unicorn

Coffin
Fly

Fish
Fry

Good
Bad

Think
Drink

Smile
Scowl

Teeth
Towel

Grimace
Ace

Lash
Bash

Date
Hate

Hurry
Wait

Freeze
Animate

Brave
Wave

Holocaust
Heydrich

Fool
Drool

Slob
Blob

Dead
Undead

Alive
Thrive

Evolution
Revolution

Vampire
Umpire

Wire
Dire

Flour
Flower

Alien
Robot

Klaatu
Gort

Tower
Power

Rush
Hour

Talk
Walk

Hysterical
Empirical

Gary Bateman, Copyright © All Rights Reserved
July 8, 2018 (Short-Form Free Verse)...

Continue reading...

'Umbrella Jim' was the sneakiest scoundrel west of the Missisip'!
Usin' the shell game and sleight of hand, of yer purse he'd gyp.
He'd set up shop 'neath an umbrella whether inside or under an oak.
Usin' three thimbles and a ball he cleaned the jeans of many...

Continue reading...

Limericks IV - Donald Trump

The Hair Flap
by Michael R. Burch aka "The Loyal Opposition"

The hair flap was truly a scare:
Trump’s bald as a billiard back there!
The whole nation laughed
At the state of his graft;
Now the man’s wigging out, so beware!



Stumped and Stomped by Trump
by Michael...

Continue reading...

By Then It Be To Late
By Roy Merritt

I suppose it isn’t just people subject to intoxication 
If your citizens all taking toxins apt be your nation 
How eager a man be to martyr himself for a fool 
How easy he lose his morals how easy...

Continue reading...

the Poetaster
syllabic bastard
quoth the poet, 
nevermore

thine versifier
pathos bathos 
pathetic liar

rhymester runes
huckster tunes
hurry! hurry! hurry!

here's more of rhyme
no worry...or sublime
sub-worse verse

© Goode Guy 2011-09-27

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peri_Bathous,_Or_the_Art_of_Sinking_in_Poetry
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alexander_Pope
http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/poetaster
http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/rhymester
http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/versifier...

Continue reading...

You'd hear them every morning
Like a band of baritones
The echoes of the horseshoes
Clacking, on the cobblestones
Each huckster with a wagon
Pulled behind a blindered roan
Parading back and forth between
The rows of old brownstones

One would have fresh vegetables
And one would have fresh fruits
Another might have leather goods
Like...

Continue reading...

Democracy hating, dictator loving,
media baiting, neo-Nazi hugging
... Duck! Donald
I heard someone in the rally crowd cry,
then I saw a blurred object come flying by
Someone lobbed a hard truth brick,
and hollered, start building your wall with that
I believe they were dressed in Antifa protest black

Bankruptcy deal...

Continue reading...

(Me slippery fingers slither,
slip and slide splashing ala
Jackson Pollock), sans slap
dash experimental, swiftly

tailored and harried writing
style, yes on par with purging,
spewing, venting...unexpurgated,
unexpressed, unexplained... 
words, which this Engelbert

Humperdinck singer/songwriter,
(whose name inexplicably popped
into the mind of this Dadaist)
offers "FAKE" apology for any

self inflicted, or sadomasochistic
flagellated cranial contusions
out...

Continue reading...

Yukon just coon sitter me a copacetic, energetic, ironic language lover (English is ma lingua franca late mother tongue), who waxes poetic, but tall so one babbling, creaking, and dabbling dis arming marine naval (gazing) scrivener expressing stance toward thee present lord save us (Te...

Continue reading...

OUR LIBRARIAN

I once remember the
Librarian in my college  
Meticulous ,and savvy
His love for knowledge 
Knows no bound.  

I once remember the 
Librarian in my University
A man with a large heart for others 
His glasses perking on his nose
His Professorial “penkelemesi” like
Grey hair connotes...

Continue reading...

I saw a buggy at the antique store today, its beauty unsurpassed!
I couldn't help but sit and muse awhile about its esoteric past.
It was shiny black with roll-up curtains to fend the stormy weather.
Its lone seat was hand-tooled in the finest of cowhide leather!

I pictured...

Continue reading...

wake up

arrogant bird
black velvet blot
calling now raucously down the wind
light is barely caressing the patch work hilltops
snow creeps minutely 
backing off from the slumbering valley

a new spring chorus will soon commence
you self inflated huckster
rush to grab the top most branch
arranging a choir of cacophony
out-sounding the...

Continue reading...

Ice cream and ices, ice cream and ices
Get your fudgywugies here is screamed
Heard clear emerging from the tunnels
Under the boardwalks promenade shadows 
Loud and clear come good humor men in white
Ridiculous in their black shoes heavy like iron
Trudging through hot sand like mad men
Hunched over...

Continue reading...

Courtesy handy dandy
palmar hyperhidrosis
impossible mission to defeat
except poe wet tickly
even courtesy drysol.

(Me slippery fingers slither,
slip and slide splashing ala
Jackson Pollock), sans slap
dash experimental, swiftly

tailored and harried writing
style, yes on par with purging,
spewing, venting...unexpurgated,
unexpressed, unexplained... 
words, which this Engelbert

Humperdinck singer/songwriter,
(whose name inexplicably popped
into the mind of...

Continue reading...