Best Hoover Poems

There once was a witch in Vancouver
Who traded her broom for a hoover.
She encountered a glitch
When she turned on the switch
'Cause the hoover took off and pursued her....

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Once a witch with a wart on her nose,
And with runners in her pantyhose,
Went and traded her broom
For a Hoover vacuum.
Where she hoovered to, nobody knows....

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~THE OLD HOUSE ON HOOVER STREET~

There it sat empty and sad
Windows shattered and the bottom one boarded up
There it sat helpless and alone
No one there to protect its contents
A shabby two story on one of the most sinful streets in these parts
A dilapidated shack with...

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Immense dam blocking river water flow,
thou structure showing great restraining force,
now ever show your swirling blades below
to power lines drawn o'er extending course.
And ye do make an irrigation stream
for rows that grow vast bumper yields of kind.
Such harvest answer gold, a farmer's dream
all seen since...

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Sucked off by his vacuum cleaner 
Vicar Jefs' wiener went leaner 
His parish aghast
Told the cops, "Come fast"
The Judge called a Miss de Meanor*

(n.b.,  Baptist Jefs is now a 
Registered Sex Offender so
guard your vacuum cleaner! ...

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I am ill eke quipped to dusk hoover dawn ting task of badinage

Indentured gumption forsaken 
courtesy each pulled wisdom-tooth
this hug gust aspiring writer..., albeit youth
fool looking imp posse Hubble wordsmith,
(i.e. the babbling dad) coon sitters hyperbole
nsync as acceptable literary playfulness,
no matter figurative persiflage
bespeaks, expresses, invokes,...

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THE GANGSTER DISCIPLES ARE NO LONGER UNDER MR. LARRY HOOVER THE NEW LEADERS ARE CONTROLLING THE GANGSTER DISCIPLES FROM A LESSER GOD JAY TOWNSEND JOHNSON HENRY CATRINA BELL MIKISSICK TAYCHEEDAH WOMANS PRISON MY STALKER CORRUPT OFFICERS NIECE QUEEN PIN OF WISCONSIN HIGH RANKING FEMALE QUEEN...

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Immense dam blocking river water flow,
thou structure showing great restraining force,
now ever show your swirling blades below
to power lines drawn o'er extending course.
And ye do make an irregation stream
for rows that grow vast bumper yields of kind.
Such harvest answer gold, a farmer's dream
all seen since...

Continue reading...

This hug gust aspiring writer..., albeit youth
fool looking imp posse Hubble wordsmith,
(i.e. the babbling dad) coon sitters hyperbole
nsync as acceptable literary playfulness,
no matter figurative persiflage

bespeaks, expresses, invokes, jimmy's...
simultaneously stretching limits credulity
(think courtesy metaphorical crowbar)
teases out apropos exaggeration
after quaffing vermilion vintage vermouth
without shadow of doubt signifying...

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Dusk hoover ring dawn ting task of badinage...

This hug gust aspiring writer..., albeit youth
fool looking imp posse Hubble wordsmith,
(i.e. the babbling dad) coon sitters hyperbole
insync as acceptable literary playfulness,
no matter figurative persiflage

bespeaks, expresses, invokes, jimmy's...
simultaneously stretching limits credulity
(think courtesy metaphorical crowbar)
teases out apropos exaggeration
after quaffing...

Continue reading...

Rather Galesburg Joliet 
Terrehaute Florence Colorado 
to the shores of Bogotá 
flushing heroin fentanyl 
through the gates behind bars 
thee corrupt prison ran 
by gang leaders paying 
off prison guards you can 
ask yourself what brand 
to buy into Hoover vacuum’s 
are reliable American made...

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Dusk hoover ring dawn ting task of badinage...

This hug gust aspiring writer..., albeit youth
fool looking imp posse Hubble wordsmith,
(i.e. the babbling dad) coon sitters hyperbole
insync as acceptable literary playfulness,
no matter figurative persiflage
bespeaks, expresses, invokes, jimmy's...
simultaneously stretching limits credulity
(think courtesy metaphorical crowbar)
teases out apropos exaggeration
after quaffing...

Continue reading...

If all

Life exists in a vacuum

Then Hoover stole a march

On all of us

Before anyone else could

And patented the name

For gain 

Because we equate value in a
brand and a name

Matter's not of the quality of what 
they are selling is 

Absolutely second rate tatt we will
buy...

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