Best Hillbilly Poems

One night while I was sleeping
The bed began to shake
I knew right then without a doubt
That I was wide awake

Here they come once again 
To take me for a ride
I saw their flying saucer
It was much too late to hide

So I put on my old...

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She asked him, "Why are you drinking
Before it's 9 am"?
He told her not to worry
She said, "Damn! You're drunk again".

She said that she was tired
Of him sleeping on the couch
She told him forty seven ways
He acted like a slouch

"Get up and fix the plumbing
Go outside...

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The 7 wonders of the world 
Is quite a sight to see
But it don't compare to what we have
In the hills of Tennessee

Uncle Zebs cow is a big ole thing
Quite a sight to behold
That cow's so big that when they milk her
Her udders even have...

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We got a bubble machine and rigged it up a bit.
To the cow water trough, it was a really tight fit.
Come on! I urged Bubba, grandma’s nap won’t last.
I knew if she caught us, we’d be whooped hard and fast.

We were giggling so hard, probably...

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SUNDAY DINNER  (Hillbilly sonnet)
Ma's cookin now, so come and set a spell
and you can bet we'll have her Sunday best
before the settin sun, and who can tell
what's on her stove--but it will meet the test.

Can't you just smell that fryin chicken now?
And you must...

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yard full of beer cans
cotton balls and human string
food,fun, drunks galore...

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This redneck is fixin' to go dancin'
You reckon we get gussied up and go?
I'll be a high flutin' and a prancin'
Is the honky-tonk puttin' on a show?

Shall I wear my fanciest clod hoppers?
Shall I phone all your fiddle playin' kin?
I am gonna be such a...

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Hillbilly hand jive is the name of this here song.
So why don't y'all come out here and help us sing along?
Yippy ki yay and howdy do.
Y'all put yer arms right in and I'll show you what to do.
First take yer finger and stick it up...

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Well here's another story
That I'd really like to share
It's about the first invention
Of a thing called underwear

Invented by one of my kinfolks
A man that the bible calls Adam
It caught on pretty quickly too
Cause pert near everybody had'em

I'll bet you didn't know it 
But Adam was...

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Limerick : Once Hillbilly Bumpkin came to town

Once Hillbilly Bumpkin came to town
Citizens mocked this no-make-up clown
She hitched ride on red bus
To Piqued-Silly-Circus
And there let drop (her) feathered eiderdown.

© T. Wignesan – Paris,  2013...

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I've just come to realize 
Probably some of you don't know
How to speak the hillbilly language
So, I'll show you how to give it a go

We call them crayfish, crawdads
Cause they're not really a fish at all
A skunk we call a polecat
You better run and hope...

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Let me start off with an introduction to get you
in the mood to read this poem. Sorry, I did say
something that is wrong to a couple of my readers.
I usually don't make comments regarding any of 
my poems. This one is one of my best...

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This old way of fishin's become a new hit
Though sometimes I really don't get it
And on a scale from one to eight
How high could it possibly rate

When you use your own appendages for bait
Swimming around in muddy water while ya wait
Now that's called fishin'
With nothin'...

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Mornings, light and smiling
Coffee brewing, black
Meat frying in a cast iron skillet
Grease, flour and milk, stirred together
Gravy poured over steaming biscuits
Granny’s breakfast – typically
Grown to life from a wood cookstove

Noon, gentle sunshine
Picking cornfield beans, breaking
The beans and then washing them
Placing them into a vessel, a...

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Every morning at close to four
She made the coffee, percolated
Poured it into cups with saucers
And they each would have a cup
Pouring the potent black liquid
Into the saucers before drinking
The cooling solution from them

This was only one more glimpse
Into the heart of Appalachian living
A day by...

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