Hillbilly Frankenstein

She asked him, "Why are you drinking Before it's 9 am"? He told her not to worry She said, "Damn! You're drunk again". She said that she was tired Of him sleeping on the couch She told him forty seven ways He acted like a slouch "Get up and fix the plumbing Go outside and mow the lawn Close your mouth you stupid ass Don't let me see you yawn". "Comb your hair and shave your beard Look more like a man". He rubbed his face and shook his head And said, "How's that again"? She stomped her feet in fury As her fist shook back and forth "I'm going back to mommas If you don't get up and work". So he staggered to his feet And grabbed his britches by the waist He pulled them up and stumbled off To find a quiet place He said that he was going To the store to by some bread But never made it further Than his broke down pick-up bed Thirty minutes later He was wakened from his sleep She took the backyard garden hose And sprayed him head to feet He jumped and ran to save himself And find some place to hide He heard her cackling like a hen As she went back inside He hid behind the bushes Till he thought the coast was clear He had to find a way inside To get another beer He crept up to the screen door Looking in to take a peek He slowly pulled it open So as not to make it squeak He slipped inside and closed it Then he tiptoed 'cross the floor Quietly he reached out For refrigerator door But something caught his eye And he looked over toward the sink That dadgum woman took his beer And poured out all his drink His head was bent in sorrow At the tragedy he saw A dozen soldiers down in flames And bound by Sundays law There was nothing left to do But go and take his seat Beside his wife of twenty years Who made his life complete He loved her 'cause she loved him It was paradise in hell He whispered that into her ear And she said, "Damn you smell". "Get off me with your drunken breath Go sit over there". And so he went and slouched down in His worn out easy chair Quietly they watch tv Into the dark of night Then went to bed with word unsaid And turned out all the lights The end Rockman :-)