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The Best Go Through The Roof Poems

Details | Go Through The Roof Poem |

The Jaffa Cake Controversy

Part 1 - Unforgiveable

Beyond all rhyme and reason
Utterly beyond the pale
To be denounced in any season
A complete and utter FAIL

Eleven million watched in awe
Some driven to rage and shock
So many scarred by what they saw
But you can't turn back the clock

'Twas the graceless act of a savage
Of an ogre and a fool
Before he causes any more damage
Let's send him back to school

Or perhaps we ought to lock him up?
That might bring some relief
Keep him away from Jaffas and tea cups
Save us all from further grief

We need an apology from this pest
For the bitterness he's left in the mouth
I think our Mary said it best
"We don't do that in the South"


Part 2 - In Defence

He's no brute and he's no caveman
Just a guy who likes his tea
I think he's quite a brave man
With his dunking controversy

I'm with him - as there comes a time
To stand up for your right
To dip into your fine cuppa 
Whatever you reckon will delight

Now I myself go for bourbons
Or digestives, or hobnobs
I'd never thought of plunging Jaffas
As they're too soft for the job

But I'm reviewing that opinion
He's an expert, after all
He's really got me thinking 
So, I'm saying "Thank you, Paul"

McVitie’s say he's in the wrong
But I'd like to see their proof
And I know they're really smiling
As the sales go through the roof

Details | Go Through The Roof Poem |

Sun You Are a Real Star

Lying here in early evening light
the sun’s going down behind it’s cloud
it’s power being evident throughout day
effective rays showed before it bowed

Through the daytime hours so great
makes one melt under it’s shade
it’s so powerfully hot for one to bare
too much of it will make one to fade

Think how far away it is from earth
if too near it would burn us up
then all of our matter would just melt
no more to be only a shell shape cup

Thankfully it’s far enough away to harm
so we can enjoy it’s many a benefit
it spreads itself to different parts and times
full of it’s resources never ever to quit

Sun indeed you are one real star
makes a many bright smiling face
ice cream sales go through the roof
come back tomorrow to fill our space!

(some thoughts while enjoying sunshine on holiday in Italy.)

Details | Go Through The Roof Poem |

Fine, whatever

Who do you think you are?
I said it so many times to my old friend
too many times
until I said it loudly one last time
and that was the end
I had enough-   and banged down the phone
outside the birds were singing so sweetly
and the wind was blowing like violins
as I sat pondering . . .

Some may call me meek but I think I am calm
I take a lot before blowing up
and with this un-friend I took her attitude for years
fifteen to be exact . . . 

I recall the times she was horrible to me (so many)
like the time we had a yard sale
and she broke a nail
what a lot of of shouting and cursing
and I made the mistake of laughing out loud
(well, honestly it was funny)
she turned on me like a wild cat in heat . . .

Another time, I helped her to move
(gosh she had a lot of stuff)
she had booked some movers but they never showed
so, I called guys I knew with a truck
and we moved her-   it took all day . . .
 
I stayed to help her unpack
after seeing all the collectibles she was putting out
I said-  you don't have to put them all out at one time
(had heard that on a design show once)
well, I thought she was going to go through the roof
with the steam coming out her ears 
so I left . . .  hungry and took the bus home . . . 

I had been working nights, when she asked me 
to go to a movie-  I kept slipping down in my seat
and I think I snorted a few times
after, she said, how did you like the movie ?
and I replied, worst movie I ever saw
she left me standing in the parking lot bewildered
I walked home through the dark park 
under the twinkling stars . . .
then, there was the classical concert where I truly 
did fall asleep . . . oops 

But, there were lots of times
leading up to the last day where I would break the silence
and call (we would never, ever mention the incident)

But, this particular day
I had gone out with lady in my building for cafe
SHE- had called and called and left messages
I really had intended to call back 
but forgot . . . 

Well, she called me again, hello I said, so sweetly
I had to hold the phone away from my ear
for the cursing and shouting that was happening
where to "H" were you she roared !
I listened (calmly) grinding my teeth 
then-   said loudly, fine, whatever and
WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? slamming the phone
that was the end . . .  of our un-friendship
it felt good to be free of her negativity . . .  

Yet, there was a sadness too!
for there were some great times along the way
but the price to my dignity
was just too high . . .  in the end
___________________________
August 26, 2018


Poetry/Narrative/Fine, whatever
Copyright Protected, ID 18-1054-960-01
All Rights Reserved.  Written under Pseudonym.


Written for the contest, Who Do You Think You Are
sponsor, Caren Krutsinger

Second Place

Details | Go Through The Roof Poem |

The Rapture

A lady who believed in the Rapture
began wearing a hard hat as proof.
Imagine, she said, my coiffure
if in a bus I have to go through the roof?