The Jaffa Cake Controversy

Part 1 - Unforgiveable Beyond all rhyme and reason Utterly beyond the pale To be denounced in any season A complete and utter FAIL Eleven million watched in awe Some driven to rage and shock So many scarred by what they saw But you can't turn back the clock 'Twas the graceless act of a savage Of an ogre and a fool Before he causes any more damage Let's send him back to school Or perhaps we ought to lock him up? That might bring some relief Keep him away from Jaffas and tea cups Save us all from further grief We need an apology from this pest For the bitterness he's left in the mouth I think our Mary said it best "We don't do that in the South" Part 2 - In Defence He's no brute and he's no caveman Just a guy who likes his tea I think he's quite a brave man With his dunking controversy I'm with him - as there comes a time To stand up for your right To dip into your fine cuppa Whatever you reckon will delight Now I myself go for bourbons Or digestives, or hobnobs I'd never thought of plunging Jaffas As they're too soft for the job But I'm reviewing that opinion He's an expert, after all He's really got me thinking So, I'm saying "Thank you, Paul" McVitie’s say he's in the wrong But I'd like to see their proof And I know they're really smiling As the sales go through the roof