David Lindsay Poet Rhyme

The Jaffa Cake Controversy

Part 1 - Unforgiveable

Beyond all rhyme and reason
Utterly beyond the pale
To be denounced in any season
A complete and utter FAIL

Eleven million watched in awe
Some driven to rage and shock
So many scarred by what they saw
But you can't turn back the clock

'Twas the graceless act of a savage
Of an ogre and a fool
Before he causes any more damage
Let's send him back to school

Or perhaps we ought to lock him up?
That might bring some relief
Keep him away from Jaffas and tea cups
Save us all from further grief

We need an apology from this pest
For the bitterness he's left in the mouth
I think our Mary said it best
"We don't do that in the South"


Part 2 - In Defence

He's no brute and he's no caveman
Just a guy who likes his tea
I think he's quite a brave man
With his dunking controversy

I'm with him - as there comes a time
To stand up for your right
To dip into your fine cuppa 
Whatever you reckon will delight

Now I myself go for bourbons
Or digestives, or hobnobs
I'd never thought of plunging Jaffas
As they're too soft for the job

But I'm reviewing that opinion
He's an expert, after all
He's really got me thinking 
So, I'm saying "Thank you, Paul"

McVitie’s say he's in the wrong
But I'd like to see their proof
And I know they're really smiling
As the sales go through the roof

♡Like0

Share Poem

---

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

Seosamh De Burca August 29, 2016 at 5:15 PM lol thanks for the smiles, nicely done. I remember a time where there was an argument in the British parliament re. if a jaffa was a cake or a biscuit, (tax bands differ), quite a controversial biscuit it seems. Great job David Lindsay September 2, 2016 at 10:00 AM Thanks :) I remember that story too - hope they solved it by making them tax-free?!