Best Glib Poems
Of three billion contenders God considered
to be my mother some thirty-odd years
in the rear ago, the one He delivered,
all things considered, could’ve been (cue her tears)
much worse. My mom [insert a Hallmark cliché]
and for that reason alone, when compared
to yours, is a far better mother, okay?
I mean, look at this sonnet her son prepared -
it’s dang near a lock to squat on the fridge,
held by a magnetized green letter ‘B’-
‘B’ as in Beneath a Bridge I’d likely live,
for all my corners cut and talents blown,
had I not been Blessed with a mom like my own.
5/2/2019
Ofttimes yours truly assiduously tries to adlib,
but blubbers like a landlubber
at sea treading water donned with bib
(that doubles as yellow
spongy bobbing life jacket)
furiously doing doggy paddle
riding the next tidal wave
hoop fully washing me ashore to crib
if need be to dig an underwater channel
painstakingly slow drabs and drib.
The English language I simply adore
though offtimes methinks waxing eloquent
affects listeners as yours truly a bore
in record time flapping waxed lips
beholds one gordian
tongue tied knot major chore,
whereby I wanna bolt out figurative door
feeling deplorable and stuck
analogous to Eeyore.
Ache 'n to launch into a monologue
or chime into ongoing dialogue
me noggin off times generates brain fog
mental state mimicking one,
who quaffed an over abundance of grog,
which for this teetotaler would constitute
a mere thimble full of drink,
perhaps rum enhanced eggnog
just one sip and boing I go
topsy turvy as if a felled log
hit me over the head
rendering me unconscious.
Thus wood explain mine altered state
though unsightly gash on pate
battle scar leveled playing field
with the missus, 't other significant primate
supplementing and complementing
one aging long haired
pencil (vane ya) necked geek
being caged, yet free
to roam within human zoo
both, (née all) of us captive
on carousel of time
nsync with every other *****sapien
begot to participate in circle game.
All superfluous joking aside,
I strive to groom conversation,
whereby uninterrupted flow of words
(versus fumfering, hemming, hawing,
stammering, stuttering...), thine
general oral feedback paradigmatic guide
ever diligent to think
before I speak with pride
else I heep discourtesy
upon myself and chide
yours truly with harsh rebukes,
which maybe tantamount
going off the mountainside
plummeting into the abyss
engenders an unpleasant
metaphoric roller coaster ride,
and if crash test dummy doth survive -
upon gibbet he will be tried
punishment broadcast world wide
for flagrant horrendous verbal
egregiousness (waywardness) he belied.
Innocent and full of wonder
Quick to love
Slow to trust
Not slow enough
Whispered promises and
Trepidicious caresses
Eyes lulled closed
Frost creeping
Slow icy death of
An internal winter
The last leaf of hope falls
Winter shrouds the heart in ice
Rent and frozen in time
Pain screams without sound
A lifetime passes
Pressure mounts
Shards cut so deeply
Lifeblood begins to weep
As the heart raises its own light
Stirs to thaw
The once loved stranger
Gilt and glib
Seizes the last frozen shard
And sending the bolt home
Tolls the final knell of innocence
Dawns freedom
Submission
By Beverly Stock
I called the editor knowing
That my temper would be showing
And said the following to him:
“I sent a poem here, sir”
(I said growing fiercer,)
“And the subject which
I’d chosen, Sir, was Spring.”
“ I just scanned your paper,
By sunlight, torch and taper,
Of my poem, I do not see a thing”
He spoke, I’m sure it was a fib,
Said he, smug and very glib,
“Of the sixty-one submitted, we printed one.”
“And we’ve decided they should be divided
Among the years then reunited
With a new one each succeeding Spring.”
“Your submission, I’m pleased to mention-”
Will receive our best attention
In our Spring Edition - 2081.”
so wily and smooth, he boasts
he can make huge profits
among Sahara Bedouins
selling them mounds of sand;
so shrewd and suave, he brags
he can convince Eskimos
right in their igloos to buy
from him expensive tons of snow;
now so quiet and cold, he still
touches those he outsmarted,
even in his grave, in the ground,
with the sand, 'neath the snow.
A glib tongue
is remembered for the poison it delivers,
not the smoothness of its delivery.
Tom
Glandular glib gladiator in Glady’s gladiolas?
glazing glassblowers gleaning gabbiness?
glistening, glittery, glitzy glop glimpsing gladiator?
globular glowworm gloriously gleaming in Glady’s gladiolas.