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Best Even Money Poems | Poetry

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The Best Even Money Poems

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Laughing At Fools


laughing at

Not funny.

Can cure


Has no remedy 
Not even money!

Copyright © Vicki Acquah | Year Posted 2015

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20,000 Bees

A cart selling hot dogs and such
Was suddenly sharp to the touch
Because thousands of bees,
Eschewing Chinese,
Thought a frank they would like very much.

They swarmed to the top of the stand
So a cop, likely one in command,
Ordered all off the street
So the bees could retreat
But that’s not what the stingers had planned.

Thus an officer, bee-suit attired,
Soon appeared with the tool he required
And his vacuum did suck
All the bees it could pluck
With finesse that onlookers admired.

New Yorkers find stuff like this funny
And likely would bet even money
That soon that same cart,
If its owner is smart,
Would be selling you hot dogs with honey!

Copyright © ilene bauer | Year Posted 2018

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Not only will I touch the hem of your garment

I’m flabbergasted at how the streets are thronged
Could You be the one for whom twelve years I’ve longed?
Oh say, a Physician like no other before seen?
Different from the kind to where I had been?
Could Your timing have been more impeccable?
And Your approach be more unbelievable?
But I’ll undoubtedly put the last of my trust in You
I have much to lose, yes, indeed that’s true
But out of options I’ve finally run
And now even money, I truly have none
So I will find my way to your garment
So You can put an end to this bloody ailment

With an old blood-stained dress
I start out and on I press
I hurry through the deafeningly noisy crowd
Each one giving a careless, yet imploring shout
And it feels like You move further
With every step I take to get closer
“Please, if You are the Saviour”, I think,
“help me to press on, for I’m at the brink
Of breaking down, about to forfeit
I’m helplessly at the mercy of defeat.”
Not only will I touch your garment
But You will make my life to Your goodness a testament

Finally, after pushing past the multitude, I see an open space
To my advantage, in the other direction, is turned His face
Unworthy I am, so I really do not have to talk to Him
All I truly need to do is swiftly touch His hem
The hem of the Saviour’s garment, that’s all I really need
And then from this sickening bondage of blood I’ll be freed
I touch His garment, and it really was not my intention
To in any way catch the Saviour’s attention
I find it strange that no change in me I see
Until that mysterious Physician spots me
And confirms soothingly to my soul
 “…thy faith hath made thee whole.”

So not only will I touch the hem of Your garment swiftly
But I will praise You from the bottom of my heart sweetly
Not only will I touch the hem of Your garment as I said I would
But I will ever bear in my heart of hearts to my Saviour gratitude
Not only will I touch the hem of Your garment, but strife
I will, as I hold onto You, Lord, for dear life
Not only will I touch the hem of Your garment with my finger
But in Your presence I will overstay my welcome and persistently linger
Not only will I touch the hem of Your garment as scary
As it may seem, I will cling to You, oh, loving and lovable Redeemer of Calvary

Copyright © AJC Lekobane | Year Posted 2014

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The Bodyguard Who Outsmarted The Queen-Once Upon A Time

Locked in the largest room of the  palace,
you live days in dire existence,
sunshine caresses you with sun rays,
breeze makes you breathe life;
anything at the swish of a wand is
given to you, lonely princess of Wales!

He has no loyal blood in him,
and as many children as you desire,
He can give you-at least two.
A boy who looks exactly like him,
a girl as gorgeous as you...
he can feel inside you'll be his.

Your jealous Queen, can scream her brain out
and tell you, " I don't like that bodyguard is a joker;
he's too poor and childish, he thinks he's another prince,
but he has nothing to give you...stay in your room, 
silly Rapunzel! He won't ever climb to this balcony:
your hair is too short and brittle! How can he do that? " 
You'll try to convince her that he is a great guy,
" But mom, he loves me more than anybody! "
" Love without money is a tree without fruit! 
Riches can buy many jewels! You're the next Queen!  
Her anger will shout her up and all will turn to gloom...
while he waits outside and freezing he rubs his red hands.

Her slickness won't last, she must have a weak spot;
if he courts her with his boyish charms, she'll become soft
and forget that a pretty princess adores him and woos him. 
" I got her on my strings...she'll be my animated puppet!"
Infatuation can be blinder than love; he will get her very drunk,
and have her thinking for a minute that she can have him! 

The princess and the bodyguard hug; they laugh aloud...
while the Queen sleeps on the sofa and snores, " She's too drunk,   
let her sleep for hours; we are going to elope and live happily! 
Ah! Such an unfair and vain mother she is! She'll realize that
even money isn't everything...if love palpitates in the heart! "
Try out his trick: be that bodyguard who outsmarted
the Queen and if you get lucky, you must thank him "

Pick: Rapunzel
Written on 2/2/2016

Copyright © Andrew Crisci | Year Posted 2016

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Words to the Wise from a Depression Era Grandmother

Always look down –
You might find something - maybe even money
Never a borrower nor lender be-
You might not get something back that is dear to you 
Or it could come back with dents

Always have a little side money in a bunghole
What’s a bunghole you ask – look it up!
Keep a dried ham hock bone on your key chain
This will bring you money

If the government is offering you butter and cheese
Be sure to take it
The Meals on Wheels’ meatloaf is quite delicious
Make friends with your postman and your bank teller

Blood is thicker than water  
Things always happen in threes
And you can make a great fuzzy navel with Tang
You don’t need some outrageously expensive orange juice!

Copyright © Laura McCadden | Year Posted 2017

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Mucho Silliness

How can someone draw a blank Now that's a real poser How d'ya know if it's new and improved dog food Eating that stuff's not kosher Are there seeing eye humans for blind dogs Sound quite logical to me If the Energizer Bunny attacks someone Is it charged with battery Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns Because they taste so funny If feathers tickle people, do they tickle birds? Bet it's better than even money Why does every toaster have a setting That will burn the toast to a crisp Can women put on mascara with their mouth closed Why do holes in most donuts exist Here's one I'll bet you've never thought of Do birdies ever need to pee If so, perhaps those sprinkles of rain that fall Aren't really rain between you and me Why do hot dogs come in packages of eight While the buns come in packs of ten Tell me what do they put in for colour of hair On the drivers licenses of bald men © Jack Ellison 2014

Copyright © Jack Ellison | Year Posted 2014

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April Fools

Today’s the day that mayhem rules
For pranksters known as April fools.
Through jest and folly they’ll provoke
And hope that all can take a joke.

Shenanigans and gags are fun
But they won’t work on everyone.
A jester has to know his crowd
To gauge what mischief is allowed.

Some people laugh off everything
While others suffer teasing’s sting.
On April Fools Day, even money
Says some pranks won’t come off funny.

Certain antics will appeal;
Others, though, will soon reveal
That what hits one man’s funny bone
May cause another to be thrown.

Copyright © ilene bauer | Year Posted 2012

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Blackjack Senryu String

I came here to win.
I need a lucky shuffle.
I want some blackjacks.

Here is my money.
I hope you’re better this time.
Please, no surprises.

You were not too kind
to me the last time around.
I need some winners.

Here is my first bet.
Let’s go, I’m ready to win.
Please be nice to me.

A two and a nine.
I would like to double down.
Give me something big.

It’s a measly four!
I hope you’re going over.
Twenty-two or more!

What’s under your six?
I hope you will bust for me.
And you have a ten.

Please bust your sixteen
in order to let me win.
You’re going over!

And you pull a five!
That amounts to twenty-one.
And you made me lose!

Well, no more of that!
Here’s some more of my money.
You be nice to me!

A ten and a five.
And you have a six showing.
You’re going over.

I will stand pat here.
I think you will bust this time.
Let me win this one!

You must have sixteen
A big ten is under there.
Won’t you bust for me?

An ace underneath!
So you have a seventeen,
and I lose again!

Well, no more of that!
I’ll double my bet this time.
I need some winners.

An ace and a ten!
You have a blackjack for me!
Thank you very much!

Why don’t you pay me?
Oh, so you have an ace up
Who needs insurance?

I need half my bet
to be paid even money?
No, you don’t have it.

A king under there!
And you have blackjack also!
And that is a push!

Let’s try it again.
You owe me for some winners.
Give me lucky cards.

A ten and a four,
and you’re showing a nine up.
I must take a hit.

A big ten for me.
I busted and lost again!
Forget it today!

Copyright © Robert Pettit | Year Posted 2011

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Never am eye ever counting my self worth in the amounts and measures of this 
world the many blankets that eye have like an old Indian man this would lead me 
into madness and depression far too quickly then is my want the things afforded 
me is gold and silver lines my pockets but the stuffins that eye have and all the 
riches of this world yes even MONEY is not GOD and HE has Glory when eye 
gather and even when eye find eye just say thank you JESUS even in my mind 
The way is narrow the way is hard the way is easy the way is love.
The shoes upon my feet are not wearing out they keep there size and shape for 
many months now. NO one is perfect and things are not forever but the one who 
blesses us can make a shiny piece of leather
Last seemingly forever if it is on the sandel of his desert feet.
The Holy Son Of GOD the JESUS of the Nazarene landscaping the Jesus of the 
CROSS is HE who is my blessing. A good Christian man must examine himself 
to see if he is in the HUMAN race the thing to please remember is to have the 
attitude inside the forewithall to hide thyself from pride and foolish attitude of self 
decay and sometimes leaving water here and there is the hope of someone 
else’s day. A drink left out where poor one may soon find it may not seem like 
much in the Grand scheme of things but we must soon get started giving and the 
good deed comes in living and just having FAITH and leaving just a cup just ONE 
CUP of cold water in the place the poor man dwells eye can say with out reserve 
with out much thinking looking back eye have been that very thirsty eye have 
needed water finding none and eye was thirsty did ewe give me drink did ewe 
give me some. Eye left a cup of water for the poor man to drink and GOD has 
overflowed my wellness and eye am not now ever sick. This is my biomyopic.

Copyright © charles hice | Year Posted 2007

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Broken Heart

Psalm 147:3  God will heal the brokenhearted and bind up their wounds. 

Allow God to bring sunshine into your world.

God's love is with us at every second of our life.
He is with us even more when our hearts and spirits are broken.
When you have suffered a loss or a great disappointment in life, 
God is there offering His comfort in the darkest hours.
God never breaks promises and He is always with us,
even in darkness.
God's love has no end.
Trust in God to understand your suffering.
God will always bring healing to your heart, mind, and soul.
God will fix your broken heart and all you have to do is let Him.
Opening your heart to God is easy.
He is waiting to comfort you.
He will offer you protection in time of need.
He will bring peace to your soul.
This is what brings happiness to someone's life.
Happiness is not found in material things,
not even money.
Happiness is found through God.
Allow God to dry your tears of rain and bring sunshine to your world and the ones around 

Offering Words of Encouragement
By=Shannon Lynn Farlouis

Copyright © shannon farlouis | Year Posted 2010

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Just friends

you're so cool
and so funny
I won't ask for more 
not even money

you make me feel great
you make me feel like someone
when you don't come to school
I feel unneeded and alone

you let me feel happy
and let me be myself
I can't believe it
you're like no one else

you're the reason my heart pounds 
and why the world spins 
but their is no us 
because we're just friends

Copyright © raven carr | Year Posted 2008

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Roulette Senryu String

I bet red or black
Or I bet odd or even
It’s even money

I bet first eighteen
If the number will be low.
That’s even money
I bet last eighteen
If the number will be high
Even money too.

I win two for one
If I bet on the dozens
Low, middle, and high.

There are column bets
These pay two for one also
There are three columns

And you have line bets
They are bets on six numbers
Paying five to one

You have the top line
The zeros and one, two, three.
That pays six to one.

You have corner bets
These are bets for four numbers
These pay eight to one.

Don’t forget street bets.
They pay eleven to one
These three number bets.

Want to bet a split?
They cover two numbers each
Seventeen to one

Those straight up numbers
Are the ones paying the most.
Thirty-five to one.

I will make my bets.
Here’s my money for my chips.
Spin me some winners!

Copyright © Robert Pettit | Year Posted 2011

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have you ever felt like ding
have you ever felt like crying
if you said yes 
you still are blessed
can i ask u why 
why do you cry 
can you tell me why
are you sad
are you mad
or are you just bad
if so just pray
and it will be ok 
believe in god
and your pain will be eased away 
just pray and ask for hope
just ask for anything you want
and it will be answered
even if it takes a year 
i want you to know god is near 
so just pray 
and it will be ok
i want u to know im here
im here throughout your fears
call on me 
and youll be set free
thats what ythe lord will say
and thats what you want to hear 
and thats what hell tell you
i say 
just believe 
and you will recieve 
from god
but all you have to do is believe 
and you will recieve
a blessing
a call
even money
and all
all i have to say is 

Copyright © keerah sykes | Year Posted 2005

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ant i drink and drugs ant mcpartlin

ant-i drink and drugs ant mcpartlin  19.03.18


the writing is on the wall

not going near biker "grove"

on no high horse standing tall

from the village illegally drove.

pain is at the spine

even money can not plug

in jeopardy is the "jungle mania" shine

no beetle juice being the tug.

marriage on the snap

press photos looking a wreck

just youtube the famous wrap

highlighted no little man dec.

words of wisdom

even if i have zero

drink and drugs are the criticism

withdrawing will be your hero.

life is testing

understanding its cruel and odd

faith must be your only investing

ant is in the hands of a very little man god.

Copyright © gate low | Year Posted 2018

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Poker Frustration

For jacks or better or two pairs, I just get even money. When this is the best I get, it is no longer funny. Each time I try to get a winning combination, getting unwanted cards causes me some frustration. What brings me ruin is often my own greed. A royal flush would be a dandy thing indeed. However, I fall short by one card again. I have an ace, king, queen, jack, but no ten. If this keeps happening, then I'm a fool to play. I just have to get up enough willpower to walk away.

Copyright © Robert Pettit | Year Posted 2018