Best Erectile Poems
On a dark Friday night, creature crawling
The darkness silenced, frogs in swamps shuts
Croaking and the hissing create muted at once
To perceive the whistlers whistling in turns
PaMushika-shika, To board home, Combies
After being dropped off by the combi Pahasha
I opted for a quick thriving by the darks, Ana
Sisi Pamumvuri. A quick one to say, quench
My absurd sexual appetites, lips left so dried...
Two steps forth, leaking my white rimmed lips
A bite too, appreciating a sultry maze in front
Never did I thought of my ED condition. Oh
Had long forgotten about understanding my ed
And his symptoms, Ed and my lifestyle as well
His common causes I had drawn a blank eye.
A short skirts fitting her slendern torso, as of
My utterance she became the defined beauties
Of the night, Eh... so eloquent alike Mugabe's
Speech in Native language, mocking the chaps
Whom taught him of vowels a e i o u. A ei ou
Quick to react, she gets to talk business as of
Her routine, A five dollar note for short time
Not a bad fortune for her well decorated torso
In her dark room I found myself in, undressing
And her radio, powered on spelling the melting pot
It spelt of the misfortunes of the domains vividly
How we queue in long impetuous lines to refill
How the price hiking and shelves emptying wry
How the bond note manifest into bondage, more...
And more dilemmas spat by the voice in her radio.
The heraldings left me a quagmire, I was stunned
In a state of confusion and conflicts, I was naked
So rinsed were my thoughts of independence awry
And to her nakedness I found not any pleasure more
An ED to her rescue, Victims of circumstances
Never did I thought of stress to lead me an ED
Depression, anxiety, and alcohol often trigger it.
In this case maybe my physical factor of diabetes,
My kidney disease and blood vessel diseases been the culprit.
An Erectile dysfunction to her rescue. Victims of ED.
Categories:
erectile, allegory,
Form:
Quatrain
I had my 65th birthday on Monday.
Here are some things that were clarified for me by friends.
I hope it is a sign from God that I can still learn!
False, "erectile dysfunction" isn't a labor dispute at the
new high rise they are building downtown.
False, a "persistent vegetative state" doesn't send
representatives to the U.S. Congress and the Senate, it
does however describe the U.S. Congress.
False, Dr. Neil Clark Warren doesn't have the answer to
everyone's dating dilemma. He had a wonderful
transvestite, necrophiliac, faith-healer lined up for
me, but I got cold feet...................Imagine.
True, the only media entity getting lower ratings
than me and my poetry on PoetrySoup, is MSNBC.
False, Chevy Chase isn't one of the tracks they visit
on NASCAR's Sprint Cup Series.
False, we don't subscribe to the theory that premarital sex
will make you go blind. At my age, it is called "Pre-
Interment-Sex" and I wear bifocals already, anyway.
True, I was really feeling a little low about turning 65
and all, but then I saw Hillary Rodham Clinton on the
tube. Now, I feel like the King of the World!
True, there will never be a clear winner in the battle of the sexes.
True, if you woke up on the wrong side of the bed
this morning, you still "woke up." Be happy!
True, I will never write any of this opinionated drivel
on PoetrySoup again for fear I get banned. If you
believe that................
Happy April Fools Day Soupers, don't take ya-self too serious
Categories:
erectile, humor, satire, writing,
Form:
Prose
Life on a hitchhike
A cool drool drip slid to the corner of a slit shut
mouth. Eyes that once FLASHED reared back and humbled
into occular armpits, no explanation. Hands that once
felt warmth and high hopes slowly tremmored twitching
careless as unmatter of fact. I watch the
flesh depart, skin crawling with old breakfast
sausage patty indifference. Postage due----Royal flesh
does not win. Careful. External refuse
hidden bonds confide in mass abuse of internal
bliss like factory worker, paydayholiday Friday. Say
goodbye like used coffee grounds At last gasp I
set sockets against a blank ceiling scanning with
eyes aglee and a wave in omnidirectional fervor.
Too finite? Numb and neutral with nothing at stake
I praise a restless content over a form boring of
less than glib compose and promote a position of
erectile tissue and ooooze about time , space
swaying to and fro for this invisible temptation
at arms------------------------------------------length
dave collins, "Yes", 1/89, Wash D.C.
Categories:
erectile, christmas, death, dream, farewell,
Form:
Free verse
What are these ancient creatures?
Which once dominated the earth
Left a mark which we will never forget
They came and saw during the Triassic era
And they continued their reign all through the Jurassic era
Before we starting spending pounds or dollars or Lira
230 million years ago
They dealt with the mammals of their time
With just one blow
And devoured other reptiles as well
Nice and slow
They ruled the seas and oceans almost completely
And they hunted for preys on land quite discreetly
Pterodactyls controlled the skies before the coming of jets and drones
And they communicated with their peers without the need of cellular phones
They lived through the ages for more than a hundred million years
And were the masters of lions and even big brown bears
Before the coming of *****sapiens
They roamed the sands
And conquered other animals in many distant lands
With its blade like teeth and an enormous jaw
Tyrannosaurus Rex was the largest carnivore they ever saw
But my favourite was the herbivore, Triceratops
He could repel an attack by the T- Rex until it stops
And had two horns on its fore head like the sign Taurus
With huge talons on its feet that looks like gladius
And the dumbest was the plant eating Brachiosaurus
With its long neck which made it look simply ludicrous
The dinosaurs prospered and flourished
And they were all over the place
They were man’s predecessors
And ushered in the human race
By design the dinosaur was no bird or reptile
But it may have comprise of the two
Because its spine stood erectile
Always looking for something to bite or chew
One day an asteroid came crashing down
And wiped them out
All the dinosaurs who used to live in our town
The proof of their reign
Lies deep in the soil
While their fossils remains
Their flesh became crude oil
Categories:
erectile, animals,
Form:
Ode
The car and the driver were stock
and trying to outrun the clock.
They had Cowl Induction,
erectile disfunction,
a rod that departed the block.
Categories:
erectile, funny
Form:
Limerick
Dam you bastards with water; I think you all are coots
While I watch the weather everyday and plead for rain filled fronts
I’m not some greedy bastard, which wants to grow more grass
I need my stock to have a drink, and save their thirsty ****
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not some greenie, with an axe to grind
In many areas our futures, are unbelievably intertwined
But for god sake, sit back and think, just how lucky that you are
Because all that water that you waste, well some comes from my jar.
I can’t but help, smile a wry grin, when the irrigation stops
As the whinging starts, about the loss in cash, as profit production drops
Your stock still have water, to pour straight down their throats
Water troughs filled to the brim, not erectile dysfunction floats
I see your places from the hill, circles of dark green crops and grass
Metal robots, pissing water, creatures born of greed; I have to sigh alas
There’s more to farming than factory farms and copious quantities of water
Deciding on paper, which animals must go, on the truck to slaughter.
So please forgive me when I wish on you, pestilence and misery
May your cereals wilt, stock get the shits, and your profits become history
I’m not some greedy bastard, of extra dry matter I have no need
If my stock just had clean water to drink, from my anxiety I’d be freed
Categories:
erectile, animal, drink, farm, how
Form:
Rhyme
It was a forties erectile dysfunction scare,
The home had become a war zone,
The warhead was damaged;
The wife was breathing fire,
Auntie Google pointed to Aloe Vera
For remedy with little side effects.
I picked one thorny leaf on the side road,
Squashed it into my water bottle;
Ooops, what a thorny taste,
I soldiered on, I had to be restored;
I kept on sipping.
I was back on track without counting;
Sunrises nor sunsets.
My diamond warhead is back
The wife ululated, what is your secret?
What a wonderful sign!
Now I smear it on my face,
On my arms, upper body,
Soon it will be the whole body;
What a glow,
Got the women staring;
You got a nice fragrance;
One whisphered the night last,
I polish my shoes with it;
Dust sits on them with a grudge.
An ode to Aloe Vera,
The miracle thorny leaf,
Just add water.
Walk in my bedroom,
You see my funny looking water bottle,
Never despise it!
Categories:
erectile, health,
Form:
Alexandrine
I am super sour swimmer,
engaging erectile filler,
lithium under the spinner,
a dancing danger inside of your pinner,
a welcoming rager until it’s time for dinner,
a recreation of Imagination Island while you’re out on your blinker,
a smiling fin-
and a rank and file win,
a serious agitation to your rectal inflammation,
a younger man but not yours to sing flagrant,
a special stew that mom cooked just for you,
a blistering band of E-Heads and Speedy Dreds,
a clear cut forest growing back even more deformed...
Categories:
erectile, dedication, imagination, introspection, lonely,
Form:
Free verse
Diagnosis
another two edged sword
Here we go
some other pill to swallow
choke it down and see
Will this one leave me blowing me nose in my hand
or crying for days on end on the floor?
What about the mysterious rash?
erectile dysfunction like that other cocktail dose?
but I'm sure with this new big word they can help me
I know they must be close
Diagnosed and diagnosed
and if i get upset
or agitated
for the tortures ive endured for my side effects
heaven forbid
another presciption
a new name for my mental state
and here we go again
Drug induced psychosis
Manic Bi polar
Schtsophrenic of the disorganised type
schitso effective mood disorder
but none of them knows anything thats been going on in my life
Respiridone makes you fat
and five years of dieting and exercise wont be enough to take it off
but the blessing of all the work out books and magazines you read
is you will learn a lot
Stellazine makes you twich and drool
but they will smile as you have these spasms and say
they've never seen you better
and as you feel so hollow
never ever dare to get confused
and ever have a temper
Swallow this
swallow that
the antidepreesants are killers
literally
and I'm still singing about my friends
as i twiddle my thumbs
about the lies and liars
and who said what
and the lawyers that wont let me talk
Diagnosed several times
a two edged sword
called amnesty and talked to allah
the joke of the switch board
Categories:
erectile, caregiving, life, sympathy, me,
Form:
Free verse
My somewhat outsize ears and longish neck
(I swear exist, which contrary to popular myth
never seen by living persons) support this egg shaped
(fried or scrambled some might argue) head.
A mostly flat and hairless chest attests to a regular
regimen of light (self-concocted) chest-pounding routine.
Exercise (as well as meditation) a vital part of my
daily program to deal with the ordinary stresses
of primitive existence. Coffee happens to be the
sotto voce sole vice, which exotic brews provide
helpful jump-start. I sometimes even chump on cup
kept teeth sharp. That unproductive habit came
to a screeching halt after breaking every pearly white.
Now to that locale known as the trumpeting rump
pull stilts skin. Although the unseen forces of biology
and genetics dealt me an itsy bitsy, tiny tushy
(which serves as the but for fellow Apes to taunt
and tease) such anatomical feature offers little
value as the worthiness of sexual prowess.
This palm pilot sized gluteus Maximus offers one benefit.
Ease to squeeze into tight spaces without getting stuck.
This tiny tushy accompanied by a vestigial and
teeny-weensy Weiner schnitzel of a phallus, which
undersized cock a doodle do doth bulge into
an erectile state within shooting distance of
coveted warm, wet and wooly private world
property of each and every woman.
A pair of skinny (flamingo like) legs (covered in
adequate hair) now completes this general character sketch.
Categories:
erectile, 11th grade, 12th grade,
Form:
Dramatic Monologue
Throughout my marriage I struggled with a horrible ailment,
Penile Sexual Erectile Dysfunction,
and because of my chronic impotency,
my ex wife filed the papers and divorced me.
My divorce it turns out was the cure for me,
because I'm now always ready for moments of intimacy.
Fewer single guys ever struggle with impotency,
as opposed to all of those who are so called happily married.
Categories:
erectile, health,
Form:
Rhyme
U nderwear was once taboo
N ow is flaunted on t.v. screens
M en's boxers/briefs, women's bras/panties
E volving (or declining) moral values
N egate former prudish sentiments
T ampon commercials now the norm
I gnorant minds become informed
O ur private agonies are fully aired
N ausea, diarrhea, erectile dysfunction
A ll formerly private matters
B ecome readily discussable
L eaving no subject out of reach
E nlightened minds say "let it all hang out"
S oon nothing will be unmentionable
For Debbie's Unmentionable contest
Categories:
erectile, life, social,
Form:
Acrostic
I watched the “news” this morning.
Chicken Little ran around squawking
Two women talked amiably after describing
scenes of horrific violence.
A homeless puppy was found
cared for and now needs a “forever” home.
Thousands called in looking to adopt it.
A homeless veteran was stepped over
in the entrance to a shelter
he/she was not cared for or allowed entrance.
Three kittens sang “Jingle Bells”
Chicken Little squawked a bit more
Climate change, global warming yadayada
The weather persons told me of storms
in the Midwest, floods in the south and
high temps in Arizona….
I had to look out my window
to get the weather report here.
The station manager made a Public Service Announcement.
Paraphrased : “If you’d all just do as you’re told
everything would be just fine”.
(the commercials were for Erectile disfunction, tampons,
birth control and condoms….oh….and childrens breakfast cereal))
John G. Lawless
1/4/2022
Categories:
erectile, america, betrayal, city, satire,
Form:
Free verse
The facts of life, O birds and bees,
how getting aroused, can trigger a sneeze,
Weird as it seems, science explains,
this behavior’s no contagious disease,
Apparently nasal erectile tissue,
caused this quirk during evolution,
Was used to discern erotic pheromones,
isn’t that a nice upstanding resolution,
Autonomic reflex gets overloaded,
in which we have no control,
If you have a secret admirer,
an Achoo! could betray their goal,
Now I’ve opened Pandora’s box,
let the cat out of the bag,
Instead of social distancing,
sneezes might encourage a shack,
This poem has some side effects,
even strange permutations,
God bless you! never be the same again,
could construe carnal allegations,
Strange this evolutionary mixup,
is still embedded in our genes,
Contemporary signals of interest,
usually belay bulging jeans,
I’m going out on a limb here,
for better no definitely worse,
Did we humans in our primeval past,
grunt prelingual dirty words,
So many questions surround,
basic instincts of procreation,
Least of which erogenous zones,
are open to interpretation,
Like whispering sweet nothings,
a turn on, in each other’s ears,
Call out the ex’s name by mistake,
your lusty night might end in tears,
So if dressing up like Snow White,
and think someones getting sleazy,
Take it easy on the small guy,
he may just be acting out sneezy.
By
David Kavanagh
Categories:
erectile, allegory, allusion, crush, humor,
Form:
Rhyme
Twittered Via Chilled Wren
At Valley Forge, Pennsylvania
Prior carte blanche to confessing illicit
extra-marital affair
I embolden tomb ache
elicit, and baldly bare
faced laid out some
of the sordid details clear
embarrassed at one escapade
in particular constituting dear
peppy's questing randy romping caper
necessitating vigilance 'ere
a park ranger, (or other unsuspecting
winter weather way
Farer attired in gear
adequately bundled
cold as a witch's tit
seasoned trooper)
reluctantly repeated here
(unforgettable if only be
cause this "FAKE" Casanova ace
thee Missus i.e.wife)
did conversationally chase
beseeched, hen pecked,
and implored me NOT to erase
boot to recount with (itty bitty)
Monty Python glory, a straight face,
that one particular amazingly grace
obviously penned up,
and not in the write
mind (pre poetry daze),
which scurrilous anecdote
did (and still does) in vite
guffawing, sans
peculiar public philandering,
with atavistic cave man
designs tried to unite
where daunting phallus spite
confronting Arctic Vortex when right
lee let loose from pants
froze like a little popsicle quite
purposely remained flaccid
leaving me in a penile plight
when trying to hump
(standing up like a good Knight
comically ridiculous travesty)
With Barbara B****, light
of adventurous Green Beret spirit, the
Unabashed MILF about average height
fifty years, whose busty bosom
silicone breast implants
tell tale viz radiation
and chemo therapy fight
(resulting from post
Ductal Carcinoma in situ)
needless to tell
nary an erectile spell
Asper tinker soldier
tailor spy didst quell
basic animal instinct,
and feral gonadal horniness
with intent to consummate sexual intercourse
according tummy ought to occur,
cuz that blustery air
mirroring said day when hell
nearly froze over invoking
intervention from Cain and/or Abel.
Thus when prick remained
limp and nearly frost bitten
(at a boulder christened cock rock),
aye frostily smitten
slogging wet sneakers, thru
knee high snow...now, no mo' tubby written.
Categories:
erectile, 12th grade, animal, beautiful,
Form: