Best Down Pat(P) Poems

Sighed Adam to Eve:
“Because you were deceived,
Like a fool, I believed.
Sadly, all our conceived
Will be sorely bereaved.”

Well, that should be it, right?
No, boys and girls, not quite!

So you can hear what they were all up to,
We now bring this long lost tape to you:

Adam:
“You really...

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“Die Another Day”


“Your mission, should you so deem it,
Is to infiltrate ALL Fluff Clusters in K.A.O.S. Headquarters
And bloody well steam it!”


“The Place is a hazardous mess of a trap
Over run with Double Agents, ulterior motives
Amorous Nuns-on-the-Run drooling ardent dreams 
of swimming naked
in buckets of Blood...

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In youth, vacations lent my Summers wings
and Christmas gilded wintertime in gold.
I've aged (a bit) and love my Falls and Springs
for landing in between too hot or cold.
In time, I've learned it doesn't pay to be
too up or down, too rich or poor, too round
or...

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You are one cruel hearted man.
One too many for my life span.

You have inflicted one too many abuses.
I am so tired of your lousy excuses!

Whether it be with your mouth, fist, or actions
You found ways to punish for imagined infractions.

It sickens me that I did...

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Charmaine, the dear soul writes like an angel
Her poetry is beautiful and touching
She writes with a passion known to only a few
You'll find your heart you'll be clutching

Some just know how to create those phrases
That leave us in awe and wonderment
A natural talent that some...

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Gravity keeps our feet on the ground,
Stops us from slapdash flying around.
This force of attraction ‘fictitious’ gives weight
And makes all fall down at equivalent rate.

(Albeit in flights of fancy it seems
That gravity follows the laws of dreams.)

Relativity caused Newton’s view to shatter,
In positing spacetime to...

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You think you have me down pat
So, I’m going to move when you say this or that
Go scrub the rust from the pipes in your head
Can’t you remember I escaped your bed

Your heart engorged with congealed blood
Can only be cleared by a massive flood
Don’t think...

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The pain of your love, pricks me to the bone
Like a pissed off praying mantis, I plead with tentacles
The pedigree of your love, powers me to a craze
Pumps my heart to a refill, primes my soul for a play

Painstakingly I peel back, promises in sync
Perilous...

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A funny little observation
from my garden
the Indian Myna birds
Walk Like An Egyptian
as they
bob and strut
like a Pharaoh
have the look
down pat
even to the Cleopatra eyes....

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My love for you knows no bounds
An exquisite affair of the heart
Passionately addicted to the nth degree
Knew it right from the start

The signs were there for everyone to see
Google-eyed and mumbling away
Forgetting important meetings and such
Or the silly stuff I wound say

Us humans don't have...

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Pence told his boss, "I can't do that!
Though Rudy has it all down pat!
But I have my pride
So I'll go and hide
And hope the GOP won't rat!" 


n,b.   China, Iran, North Korea, and Russia
are hoping Americans will choose 
a President who will stick...

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One Day I was listening to an old Cowboy song
My boots began to tapping & I began to sing along
A Cowgirl stepped to the mic & as she began to sing
It sounded like a falsetto auctioneer pulling vowels out on a string

I perked my ears...

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I Should Just Give Up

By Elton Camp

Limericks I’ve always wanted to write

But I never manage to get them right

The rhyme scheme I’ve got down pat

But that’s not where the trouble is at

They never turn out funny and bright...

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I don’t remember much about our party line, only that we weren’t quite as bad off as what they showed on the Green Acres tv series. We didn’t have to climb a pole to make our phone call. Three rings and it was ours. The...

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Melania spotted a louse
And caught a cab home sans her spouse
When Barron asked, "Why?"
She said with a sigh,
"Your father is in the dog house!"

Well, Ivanka soon learned the score
And despatched a nurse to the door
Nurse said, "There's a nut
Who barks like a mutt;
And groped me...

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