Best Disqualified Poems
This contest style’s description is one I’ve never heard
I’m unfamiliar with that particular word
An internet search comes up empty
However, others seem to have poems aplenty
My eyes are getting blurry a total collapse seems imminent
Quickly penning an entry appears to be the only way out of my predicament
My freshly emerged imposter’s syndrome is now on full display
As I throw words together to prayerfully send a piece on its way
Whoops, I don’t believe the lines above were exact rhymes
I wonder if I will get disqualified this time
I see it is quintessential to utilize the word “quintessential”
Unfortunately, that stretches me to also use a word like “nonextensile”
Argh! I just realized I’m not counting my meter
I promise I’m not purposefully being a cheater
Oh well, competitions are all in good fun,
even if they drive you a bit crazy
You just have to be creative, put in the work,
and not . . . something, something lazy
Categories:
disqualified, fun, humor, satire, word
Form:
Rhyme
I can’t get behind the wheel, I’m disqualified
So I’m on the early morning train ride to the city
There are so many commuters, I join the throng
Down the street as I was drifting with the city's human tide.
We are packed like sardines crushed side by side
Makes me wish I’d never driven when blind drunk
It’s many years before I can get my licence back
Now I rely on trains or friends or take a taxi ride
I wish I could drive my car, that can’t be denied
But I got caught and ended up before the judge
Got banned from driving, I had to pay a huge fine
I’ve lost my good character; and my sense of pride
I began drinking heavily when my dear wife died
It spiraled out of control but I don’t deserve any pity
As being four times over the limit cannot be justified
Fiction poem for Contest
3. Down the street as I was drifting with the city's human tide.
03/09/20
Categories:
disqualified, addiction, car, drink,
Form:
Rhyme
Jan is so kind, she's versatile with her pen.
She hales as the Limerick Queen.I really
enjoy her wit and sense of humor.
Freddie Robinson's poetry often "wows"
me for it is deep, down to earth and one of
a kind.
Then there's Andrea, I really like her style
not to mention she can write anything.
Heidi has the ability to create lovely pictures
with words. She often supports her soup
friends. I admire her work alot.
Connie Wong is another poet that I enjoy.
She excels in most forms. I especially like
her writes about family and love & romance.
Anne- Lise(Sun Shine Smile) her poetry rocks!
She often supports and encourages her soup
friends. She is the sunshine of the soup.
Gershon Wolf's poetry often makes one think,
or laugh, I enjoy his pen.
Oh I can't forget CayCay, her comments
are always so deep and genuine.
Paul Callus, is another poet that I really
enjoy. His pen is amazing.
Jennifer Proxenos a new poetic friend
from across the pond. I enjoy her pen
very much.
WW's poetry is poetic and deep, and he
really embraces his poetic friends like
family. I like his style.
Richard is such a staple here, I have
admired his poetry since day one.
Silent One has always been one of my
favorites on the soup.
Chris Green is so kind and his gift is
amazing .I'm a fan of his pen
BW, ( Dear Heart) her poetry amazes me
whether its is dark or filled with love, she
draws you with every word
Victor, I really enjoy you poetry, you are
great story teller and an encourager.
Vijay I'm often in awe of you work, I find
it deep and poetic
Tom, you often stop by to ask me how
I'm doing, not to mention your poetry
very good.
Lyric Man has always been one favorites
on the soup.He writes from the heart and
it's in shown in his work.
And Bobby maybe I may be disqualified because
you are near the top of the list ( As far as Favorite
poetic friend goes).
The list goes on and on. I apologize for
the poets I didn't mention. There is too
many how could I just pick one?
Inspired by the " Pick a Friend(s) on Soup Poetry
Contest
9-22-19
Categories:
disqualified, dedication,
Form:
Free verse
If the clock is ticking, what will we write,
in as conjure a rhythm, a soft beat,
which resonates with childlike heart’s delight?
To do so fellow souls, is no mere feat.
Save by making mind in sync with our soul,
enabled only if we surrender,
can presence hope to succeed in this goal,
which we will later behold in wonder.
As we auto-write, partnering with space,
are we disqualified right from the start
or can it be deemed were favoured by grace,
which we claim openly, is a learnt art?
So here we are then, expressing ourself,
music of the spheres, that flows by itself.
Categories:
disqualified, muse,
Form:
Sonnet
Well, here I am sitting on the golf course
Watching the fireworks display overhead
Yes, I know I'm not as big as a horse
But at least one golfer I have misled
“Kerplunk" came the ball, bouncing off my shell
Casting it deep in the adjoining woods
That’s when I heard someone yell, “Mulligan”
They ran toward the golfer like a band of hoods
I was wondering how they knew my name
As they all ran toward the errant golf ball
And then banished the golfer from their game
Without asking if my shell had been mauled
There’s much food to be found on the golf course
So I still traverse many a fairway
But it never ceases to surprise me
How my name’s called when e’er balls go astray
Luckily my shell is hard as granite
Golf ball injuries I never sustain
So my Mulligan family moved here
Friendly golfers already know our name
Wikipedia definition of "Mulligan" - In golf, a mulligan is a stroke that is replayed from the spot of the previous stroke without penalty, due to an errant shot made on the previous stroke. The result is, as the hole is played and scored, as if the first errant shot had never been made. This practice is disallowed entirely by strict rules and players who attempt it or agree to let it happen may be disqualified from sanctioned competitions.
Categories:
disqualified, animal, golf,
Form:
Quatrain
Olympian speed
Tortise and hare race for gold
Disqualified, rage
Anybody watch the Olympics?
Inspired by a poem by Sara Kendrick this morning!! Thanks for the inspiration mom.
Categories:
disqualified, sports
Form:
Haiku
Who is responsible
domestic violence?
in the home...
responsible for rape?
while bullying in schools
escalates?
fact anti-social behavior
begins in the home!
millions of excuses used
drugs-sex-mental illness-debt
alcohol-infidelity-uncompromising
ass-hole
why not blame stress!
to name but a few...
thats' new, slap on a label
anti-social cripple
self centered compelled
subservient with a death wish
co-dependant on a mission
many incapable of raising
families successfully
matching crime to criminal
sooner rather than later
people who want children
most should be screened
the ones that have violent
tendency maybe steralise
these...
protect the unborn spirit
this cycle of perdition
simply 'cause some can
protection remains
the question...
until we fill up our prisons
or doctors fill out prescriptions
or do drugs - prostitution
or some souls
simply disappear
abuse of the sexes disaster
children
lives destined for remand
some cultures self destructive
buck the system for a laugh
self discipline escapes them
some victims choose suicide
alternative families to the rescue!
marriages deplete
truth uncovered
primary social group
breaking down
mere survival havoc wreaks!
social injustice
social acceptance
to live in a relationship
without independence?
when we break the cycle?
we immerge stronger-
children safer
home wreckers
so yesterday
some sexual couples
complete disasters
I deserve a happy life
a happy life I've got
living without violence
is where we all need to start
repeat not the acts of
your fore mothers forefathers
the violence does not work
mental physical verbal abuse
is a hostile mind at work
he's weak disqualified from life
primal evil reactivated strife
programmes of violence repeated
not strong enough in mind deleted
disrespected, feared, without
honor in most cases cannot repair
don't be a victim, of archaic hatred
suffer little children NOT!
this world though numb
Is nevertheless disgusted
authorities ears to the ground
we have heard your cries aloud
take it from one who knows
let all that s@%t go!
don't repeat their mistakes
look inside make new choices
you decide fill your life with
love...
...or misery will connect the dots
Categories:
disqualified, passion, children, life, happy,
Form:
Lyric
There once was a mule named Samson
He was as strong as he could be
He won all the strong mule contests
In the entire state of Tennessee
That old mule could pull anything
He even pulled a house or two
Now, this was quite unusual
That's just not what strong mules do
Now one day, a stranger came to town
Paul Bunyan was his name
With him was an ox named Babe
Who challenged Samson to a game
See, Babe had a reputation
For being the strongest in the land
So, if anybody could beat old Samson
Babe thought he surely can
Now, before they ever got started
They had to lay down some rules
Babe wanted to make sure it was fair
And he'd heard about those sneaky mules
They decided a tree was the test
To see which one was stronger
But old Samson was determined
That Babe was champion no longer
Babe would be the first to go
As they tied him to the tree
He pulled and pulled with all his might
But still no victory
Samson wasn't even watching
As Babe admitted defeat
He was thinking about his dinner
How he just couldn't wait to eat
Now Samson was a confident mule
Like no other mule around
And when they tied him to that tree
It started tumbling down
But before the contest was over
Babe yelled out in protest
"He didn't even pull at all
And I gave it my very best"
Now, something indeed was fishy
For the tree was gnawed in two
The judges talked to Samson
And found out it was true
For Samson had really cheated
He just couldn't stand to lose
A beaver was found behind a bush
As the crowd awaited the news
Samson had been disqualified
Babe was declared the winner
And in a show of sportsmanship
He invited that ox to dinner
Categories:
disqualified, imaginationold, tree, old, tree,
Form:
Rhyme
An apple fell, Newton discovered the Law of gravity
An apple fell, Adam discovered the gravity of the Law
God was the Law-Maker
The Law-Maker was also the School-Master
The Law-Maker introduce new Laws on Soul Food
Like the Law of kung Fu it was to defend them for Good
The School-Master was require to publish the exams result
“Adam where art thou?”
“I am naked, I hid myself”
School-Master disqualified schoolboy for failing first grammar test
The Law-Maker looked into the Law
And saw my sin and iniquity
He saw there was none to redeem
He saw the need for a better Law enforcement
School-Master Sacrificed a Lamb in lieu of the fall
The sacrifice deem to redeem Mr. Jew from the curse of the Law
And Mr. Gentile from the condemnation of the Law
“There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus hath made me free from the law of sin and death.” Romans 8:1-2
Categories:
disqualified, bible, character, christian, inspiration,
Form:
Free verse
When you see me cry don't be afraid
Sometimes dads emotions overflow
I know you wonder what's going on
There are things we don't want you to know
Perhaps we're wrong to insulate you
As parents we try to do what's right
We wish for you only sunny skies
That's why we try to bathe you in light
The fact that you care it warms my heart
I will tell you what you wish to know
Today you've grown up you are a man
That's a process I don't wish to slow
Sometimes life it can throw us a curve
I lost my job a few days ago
So now I wonder what will I do
I am at my wits end I don't know
Please come to me I can use a hug
It will help me to feel it's okay
In the end I put my faith in God
With his help things will turn out okay
For F.J. Thomas's "To Heal a Heart" contest
Oops I went over by four lines so I know
I'll be disqualified. I still wanted you to read
the poem you inspired.
Categories:
disqualified, loss,
Form:
Quatrain
I cheated on my wife once
while playing Monopoly;
I paid enough to buy two houses
but then I put up three.
I felt so bad about what I did
I confessed at the end of the day;
and swore I would never do it again
because I hated feeling that way.
Once I was in a golf tournament
and forgot to count a penalty stroke
after I moved my ball a little bit
to get out from behind an oak.
When we tallied the score at the end of the round
I disqualified myself;
it wouldn’t be right having the winner’s cup
displayed upon my shelf.
When doing my taxes at the end of the year
I didn’t have all my receipts;
so I couldn’t take all my deductibles
without feeling like a cheat.
I guess some people can and some people can’t -
I am the latter of those two.
Cheating tears me all up inside;
what does it do to you?
Written for the Cheating Contest - but posted too late - darn!
Categories:
disqualified, introspection, people, people,
Form:
Rhyme
FIFA was run by crooks and became the mafia.
They selected the world cup hosts of Qatar and Russia,
but who was corrupt the most, South Africa?
All three countries never qualify but large quantities disguised
in paper envelopes allowed each one to catch the worlds eye.
As host South Korea played Italy and it cannot be denied
that during the match legal acts were wrongly disqualified.
Goals were disallowed and the flags were raised for offside,
I'm not an Italian but even I watched that match horrified!
England's Lampard scored and it was seen by the blind,
but no goal was given with the ball four foot behind the line.
Argentina's Maradona once scored a goal using his hand,
missed by the linesman but seen by thousands in the stands.
There was a disruption that occured with the Brazil squad
on the day of the final against the host nation France.
It doesn't require the intelligence or the wisdom of a God
to recognise France weren't crowned champions by chance.
The current hosts Russia have just beaten Spain,
but can I please ask for someone to explain,
why that clear penalty wasn't awarded
to the visitors in the dying minutes of the game?
A Columbian player headbutting while VAR review,
just a yellow card was given, this law must be new.
Every World Cup there appears a trail of clues
suggesting there's an influence that is out of view.
FIFA officials fixed competitions
and corrupted the beautiful game.
They did it continuously on repetition
until caught and put to shame.
Yet it feels corrupt just the same, I think it will not change while FIFA remains.
3/7/18
Categories:
disqualified, football, soccer,
Form:
Rhyme
In the work of the Supreme God,
The Lord calls not the slothful and indolent…
…the proud and arrogant, the selfish and covetous…
…the faithless and doubting, the uncommitted and unfaithful…
…the disobedient and stubborn…
Oh, woe unto me: disqualified am I already!
In the mission field of the Sovereign Creator,
The Master welcomes those who see themselves…
…as nothing without the Saviour’s grace…
…as undeserving because of sinfulness…
…as unworthy, yet made precious by Christ’s love…
Oh, may God have mercy on me, as I find myself undeserving!
In the ministry of the King of kings,
The Almighty blesses those whom…
…He has called by His foreknowledge…
…He has empowered with His strength
…He has equipped along His instructions…
Oh, here am I grateful to the Lord for His compassion
For His goodness that enables* me…
Yes, I praise Him Who knows me fully well.
*1Timothy 1:12 And I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who hath enabled me, for that he counted me faithful, putting me into the ministry.
July 8, 2019
Categories:
disqualified, appreciation, christian, devotion, faith,
Form:
Dramatic Monologue
An Olympic swimmer named Pete
Is disqualified – when caught as a cheat
He propelled through the water
Much faster than he aughta
It’s down to the food he would eat
Before each race he eats sprout curry
Then enters the pool in a hurry
He farts during each length
Stench increases in strength
So other swimmers have to scurry
Pete farted but then ‘follows through’
The swimming pool turned green with pooh
Bubbles of foul gas
Still stream from his ass
Caught cheating the air turns quite blue
Much to cheater Peter’s chagrin
His speedo’s can’t hold the poop in
Pete’s now banned from all pools
For breaking all the rules
Thus proving cheaters cannot win
06/18/23
Categories:
disqualified, corruption, humorous, sports,
Form:
Limerick
The house now quiet, the family gone.
She looked down into her hands resting on the table top
There lay the remnants of her life.
The scars and pains of another time
The mark of the cut made on her palm
from the baby food tin when she was thirty.
Her bitten nails torn and ragged.
She smiled at the little pains and pleasure there.
There on the back of her hand a little blood
from a careless scratch from her youngest's new dog.
The knuckles swollen and painful.
from the years Splitting fish at the fish plant.
How many fish had she reduced to food?
Was it now the other side of the ledger, the fish seeking pay.
Hints of psoriasis on the backs of her hands
The worry of that, all that, all her life.
The first diagnosis when she was seven.
the pain and shame of it as a girl and woman.
Oh how she used to cover herself.
How she wanted to be beautiful for him.
The black ink stains from her leaky pen
on her writing fingers.
They told of all the lists that she had made
of food and household stuff.
And, she paused, the poems too
Her poems, how they pour from her,
and completed her, filled her
with aches and delights.
she smiled gently then at
the smell of the gentle cream
that she put on her hands today
after she had washed her
oldest daughters newest baby.
The rings that marked her love,
she heard him in another part of the house.
The engagement ring received
the day she went to his bed.
the wedding ring she saw
the day they married.
Should she have worn white.
That day it rained and rained
and she was so happy.
forty years since those raindrops
and that ring had been made
She looked deeply at her hands
and could not see the tears that had fallen there
Tears for her first baby gone
tears for the worry and fears of a good life
He came into the room
and walking by He touched her.
never a word said as he went on into another room.
She raised her head and watched him
and smiled deeply at his back.
She was happy.
Paddi march 15 Dec 2013.
#6 visual
Sorry its too long but it wanted to be longer than 22 lines.
so I expect it to be Disqualified but I wrote it for your "with these hands"
So, anyway, thank you for the idea, I am pleased with what your prompt produced.
Categories:
disqualified, happiness, introspection, life, love,
Form:
Free verse