Best Diaper Poems
She told me I was “full of it”
As she walked away.
I muttered
“What?”
Then sat
in lightly drizzling
sun
repeating
“damn!”
“what have I done?”
The curbstone bruised
my pouting cheeks
stray dogs gazed sadly
at my plight
and then - dear god!
an awful thought
“what if – oh no”
“could she be right”!?
I slowly loosed
the sticky things
holding the package
without pins
to gaze upon
the fetid mass
of twisted logic’s
compost bins.
She claimed a simple
turnabout
as what goes in
must come out.
Alas, at times,
we must admit
all of us
are full of “it”.
John G. Lawless
©4/16/2018
Categories:
diaper, humor,
Form:
Free verse
.
Dirty wet diaper
Sores, scabs, matted hair, crying
Lady adopts_mom
Contest:"Senryu For Mom"
Sponsor:Francine Roberts
(My mother said that
when she first saw me
I had a dirty wet diaper
sores, and backed up against
her and called her mom.)
Categories:
diaper, childhood, mother
Form:
Senryu
Diaper Boy
He wore a diaper;
His plan of terror was thwarted,
Many lives were saved.
Categories:
diaper, satire
Form:
Senryu
My God!
what's in yond wind yee broke
doth burn mine eyes
and make me choke.
Such bitter breeze
such wafting savour
assaults mine senses
which flee in terror!
No sewage pit
nor stagnant mire
cans't rival thine
unholy power.
A road dead skunk
in a summer's swelter
would smell more like a rose
most precious flower.
What cursed perfume
thou villainous rouge
doth linger in thine wake
be gone and find your mom I say
it's her turn for goodness sake!
Categories:
diaper, baby, children, dad, family,
Form:
Rhyme
Facebook addiction… I just don’t understand it
what a load of utter twaddle!
I don’t give a turgid toss about what you are doing
and your incessant need to share with your ‘bestie’ and the world
Are you so insecure you have to detail your every ‘movement’
From the moment you get up to the moment you turn the light off to sleep
Neither do I want to know who you were sleeping with last night!
Who cares what you had for breakfast, dinner or tea
Only babies regurgitate after they have eaten!
And no …I don’t want to see a pic after you ‘dropped your load’ – ugh
There are some things that should remain private!
You detail everything you had for your birthday and Christmas
Then tell the world you are going on holiday for two weeks
No wonder Burglar Bill just loves morons like you!
There is only one way to rid your mind of this continual crap
Put down that electronic device and get real!
Changing the Mind’s diaper Contest
Sponsored by John Lawless
4/7/18
Categories:
diaper, addiction, humorous, slam, technology,
Form:
Free verse
As Cupid came on streaming through
the sky in great repose.
The friction caught him by surprise
in every sense Helios.
To solve the problem he would think
"How can I keep my cool?"
And with a nod and with a wink
proved he was no one's fool.
He sprinkled powder on his diaper.
The kind the heroes use.
Then with a jump went head-long up
and set about to cruise.
So when you look to Cupid now,
as one who would fly by.
Remember that his frightening speed
has left him safe and dry.
Categories:
diaper, angel, baby, child, children,
Form:
Quatrain
I could go on Jeopardy and win lotsa cash
Known for my knowledge of trivia and trash
Humour's my game
Resulting in fame
My great knowledge would give Alex diaper rash
Categories:
diaper, silly,
Form:
Limerick
Many people pamper their pets
Love them so much
Treat them as small children
A dog with a diaper on
For cleanliness
A dog with a mask on
For hygiene
A dog with clothes on
For tidiness
A dog with dog foods
For nutrition
A dog goes to veterinary
A specialist
To pets they pay a lot of attentions
Maybe they deserve
How about their own children
And the oldies
Don't they deserve more
Sometimes children are left to the nurseries
Sometimes oldies are left in the old folks home
And their pets are always with them
Always being attended to
I'm lost
Does God says anything
About this discrimination
I wonder
Categories:
diaper, children, discrimination, love, old,
Form:
Free verse
Swimming in the pool was Lou- Lou,
In distress yelled, ”MA! Gotta poo !”
Momma was too late.
So the cowboy, Nate,
stuck in head n'said, “Howdy-DOO!”
Categories:
diaper, 1st grade, child, funny,
Form:
Limerick
DIAPER RASH
They took me out again
on a short leash
bag ready
just in case.
I had been trained
not to go
in the house,
to be subservient
to my masters,
repeat only
what I’d
been taught
regurgitate
the answers
sought.
They taught
I learned
by rote
and then……
they removed
the diaper
shook out all
my errant
thoughts,
patted my head,
let me
off leash.
I cleansed
my backside palate
“WHAT A LOAD!”
I fled - still flee -
the tortures that remain
lodged in my head.
John G. Lawless
4/5/2018
Categories:
diaper, education, high school, society,
Form:
Free verse
I took my new friend from Mars,
to the store not to the bars.
He was accompanied by his little green dog,
many thought he was a funny looking frog.
They messed their little green suits,
so no more fresh fruits.
A diaper they will need,
so they can go home and be freed.
Categories:
diaper, dog, giggle, green, humor,
Form:
Rhyme
I think
then wink
I gently wipe her
and in your face
I rub the diaper!
01/05/2018
Categories:
diaper, fun,
Form:
Imagism
While Trump Did Ware Diaper
We saw Trump while he wore a diaper,
Looking grotesque being a big griper;
When near,
Pain in rear;
Wherever he has been is always hyper.
Jim Horn
Categories:
diaper, allegory, analogy,
Form:
Limerick
STIER'S SNIPER POOPY STOOPY DIAPER--
Stier Fire
MAYBE BABE
STINKY WINKY
POOPY STOOPY
Stier Fire
Sniper Diaper?
.
12/20/18
Written words by James Edward Lee Sr.2018©
.
Categories:
diaper, adventure, analogy, engagement,
Form:
Footle
Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.
Mark Twain
no wonder Washington is a stinking cesspool!
Categories:
diaper, humorous,
Form:
Free verse