Best Curmudgeon Poems

In a dark, dark room this Halloween Night,

     I will seclude myself sans outside light,

          And when kids shout "trick or treat",

          ...

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I have no beef with Halloween per se

     Tho' 'tis like a vast guv-mint giveaway

          'Tis a scheme to spread the wealth

          ...

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My Resentments are so ill-behaved
By and by- by them enslaved!
Was I made to be depraved,
(Just another Soul to save?)
Afraid to say or hear the Truth,
Cannot bear to see the proof
My life grows cold, alas! I'm old!
Oh, my God! Where went my youth?...

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Strollin' thro' the park the other day I chanced upon to meet,
An old feller sittin' on a bench and he invited me to have a seat.
He looked somewhat disreputable and I was hesitant at first,
But he proferred a fifty-cent jug of wine for to sate...

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Knowing why, doesn't make the search go away 
Knowing how, doesn't mean you can stop 
There are alternative ways, different days 
No one gets to stay forever 

There are traps 
There are walls 
People trip and people fall 
and some never get up and walk...

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Why so often
Do I think
That other guys
Just make a stink?
No matter what
You do or say
They jump on it 
With one big nay
Yet these same folks
With tired jokes
Say nothing really new at all
Waiting for
Their next phone call
Long gone their lives 
Many now
With worn out wives
All once...

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Ignominy hewed into comeuppance, 
where yours truly aggrieved state 
far worse fate  
than becoming deceased, though 
years gone by since meek kin 
grievously afflicted soundly did berate
  
deplorable marital indiscretion 
this mister (wordsmith) forced opaque  
double life undetected 
confession subsequently told mate,...

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I’ve somehow become a curmudgeon.
Before you pooh-pooh and go judgin,’
Just wait ‘til your age
Hits the outmoded stage
Yet from all you believe you’re not budgin.’

I take note of the way people act
And don’t think that I overreact
When all manners have fled
Leaving, sadly, instead
Those who barrel through...

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A surly old codger in Panama City
Said of the annual tourists "What a pity!"
Groused at the snow birds
With crudest curse words
While chanting a mariner's naughty sea ditty.


Written May 8, 2021
in Panama City Beach, Florida...

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Apoplectic curmudgeon fumbles...

Jumpstarting outstanding undertaking...
bringing jouncy, spectacularly crafted,
nuanced, zesty, noteworthy, creatively
spirited enlightened written poem.

This raggedy man doth inconsolably weeps
kept rudely awake whilst disobedient sheep
incur wrath of Little Bo Peep, she lambastes
protesting courtesy rambunctiousness being
future mutton chops with "haggis and neeps"
though hungry enough to eat a...

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How, thee, compare?
     ‘Tis hard to know
A sunset then?
    I think not, no....

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When handed a stuffed pullet
looks like a stunned mullet
should I turn surly
in high dudgeon
please don't bludgeon
this old curmudgeon
and not to be outdone
altho' I am an only son
blame my parents
by all means
as I'm the result
of their poor genes
which run the gamut
of the spectrum
but I don't care...

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