Best Crass Poems


Premium Member He Was Crass Rude and Loud But

Disliked him instantly
He smelled of cigarette smoke
He was crass and rude and loud
He winked at me making me mad

Then he sat down at the piano
And showed the world what a maestro
can do; he played with the aid of angels
Faeries danced and elves wept

My traitorous feet began to dance
The whole room was swinging and swaying
He winked at several others.
His winking was part of his charisma
He was the puppet master.

My partner and I danced the whole set.
We bought him a beer. We told him how good he was.
He winked at me, and I was no longer insulted.
For he was magnetic, and his playfulness was a joy to behold.

Premium Member Dave's Never Crass

He calls himself Lyric Man but his name is Dave Wood
If you haven't checked him out yet then maybe you should
He's a poet with class
Dave's never crass
But if he thought he'd get away with it, he definitely would!

© Jack Ellison 2015

Host Nation Crass Action

Host Nation Crass Action

It is downright embarassing to review a viral video clip...
Of a group of black attired chanting in unison to a beat...
Presumably they were out in full force as soccer fans...
Easily overwhelming the rival team and their travelling fans..

In their misbegotten zest to show ardent support to the national team...
They forgot about common courtesy and sportsmanship and behave so ugly...
They were dancing and chanting insulting phrases and unpleasant things...
Reviewing such a video clip and knowing they are fellow Malaysians, I am ashamed..

How much about Singapore do they really know, that they have to show....
Their animalistic bestiality in singing, Singapore Itu Anjing...
So very disappointing to see this, when it is merely a football match...
How could this ever has to come about, how could a host nation's fans be so crass....

Could it be decades of much lauded supremacy in race and religion in this nation...
Plus jealousy and animosity from unbridled misinformation about the Singapore nation....
That brings out this shameful animosity in crowd behaviour from a host nation...

The Singaporean nation has spurted head and shoulders ahead as a prosperous nation..
While the Malaysian nation has descended down the dregs of economy as if in a comedy show...
Whither comes this  open hostility to belittle and intimidate the national team from Singapore...
O, Where is the graciousness and sportsmanship befitting of our nation...
Or has the scourge of acceptable corruption blurred the values of this  nation????

Update:
https://www.nst.com.my/sports/football/2017/10/297479/fam-cough-us56000-fines-offences-asian-cup-qualifiers-kuala-lumpur

Hohoho... 
How it stings, when fans, players, coach and  and FAM are punished for misbehaving...
Will this be the lesson to to mind all and sundry the need for sportsmanship...


Crass Ass

CRASS   ASS *


We have a rude boss with no sense:  
His intellect’s awfully  dense . 
He can’t add or subtract,  
And is lacking in tact.  
We’d all like to kick his rear hence !  

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

NOTE

*Nickname of a  guy I actually used to work for  - a  long time ago.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
 
Entered in  Carolyn Devonshire’s  Limerick  Contest  “Horrible Bosses”

Crass and Die

The dead is blowing hisses with their thin whistle 
Swallowing the metal, the sound and the supposed terror 
Flying in a backward spiral permeating through minute touches
Of infinite displacement among lost consciousness

My death is not on this day
My death is  my reluctance 
To stop pretending 
Of manning up to a stoic mannequin
My death is over my belief 
That to read is not the same as to proclaim

Death is engraved on the edge of each of my invisible claws
Down to the spinal line of my imaginary tail
My frail lifeless stale state
Staring
With eyes fully filled with distrusts, mistrusts and all that there is to it
To my supposed superficial living tales
Will I outlive my death better than me outwitting my crassness

Both Crass and Callas 2 Admit Out Loud

Both as Crass and as Callas

As it is to admit openly out loud

I find myself recently trying to reconcile

Why it is I sorely miss much more

Not those amongst us currently here
living I beside

But those who have both sadly moved
and been passed on

I wonder if it is because the dead do
not so much annoy anymore

As apposed to those long already
dead residing besides once happy
joyous memories in ones head

We can talk to them about later on at
night before we go to bed

Because they wouldn't let us get a
word in edge way's or shut up and
stop endlessly going on about
themselves

And I am going on holiday with
said set of individual's tomorrow

As unfortunately they who I am
referring to are my nearest and
dearest family

Whom unlike friends I never got to choose


Premium Member Untamed And Crass

Running around her hair so untamed,
those curls reflecting wilderness; 
Crass words fly forever blurting truth;

Sitting silent unless speaking truth,
through the years with a spirit untamed;
She’s the embodiment of wilderness;

Always so inspired by wilderness,
natural instinct’s the rawest truth;
Willing to fight to remain untamed;

The untamed wilderness is her truth.

Premium Member Crass Behaviour

Prayer meeting for the departed one
finds family praying in silent grief,
whilst others shed crocodile tears as dole,
marking time with their cellphones for relief,
cold hearts, unable to turn a new leaf,
searching familiar faces to connect,
their insincere condolences thus suspect,
crass gesture that happens time and again;
high time from our life, such ‘friends’ we eject,
for they alleviate not, our deep pain.

16-October-2021

CRASS CIRCUMLOCUTION

I'm a truly benign bibliotaph 
who sells used books for fun,
 & don't intend to make you laugh
 because I can't think of a good pun.
© Ivor Kos  Create an image from this poem.

Premium Member Crass A'Musement

I Always Wondered
Why The Elephant's Ass
Is Bigger Than The Donkey's
Which Is All Jack-Ass.

-Gray Squirrel

06-30-2025

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