Best Competitor Poems
There once was a man from Niagara
whose wiener's so long it would stab ya'
but when it got little
his pills became skittles
until he O.D.'d on Viagra
© ~JSLambert 2011*****A classic "stiff" competitor, standing "firm" amongst other "members" in the "thick" of the competition:) hope everyone gets "a rise" out of it!
Categories:
competitor, allegory, fantasy, father, funny,
Form:
Limerick
I’m being pulled in an emotional tug of war
From side to side I sway
Waiting for someone to win
I watch you pull harder
Then you drop the rope
And there I stand motionless
Not falling toward the loyal player
I stand waiting for you to take back the rope
Sometimes I drifted in your direction
But never did I let myself fall to the ground
I knew your efforts put strain on your competitor
But I tried to control the motion
I wanted someone to win
But I didn’t want anyone to lose
How selfish can I be
Making you stay in the game
So I finally decided, no one has to win
No one has to lose
I stretched myself thin making you both happy
But only you saw my degredation
Then you looked into my eyes
You saw the pain through my smile
And you dropped the rope and walked away
There stands the victor, who stood strong
He never knew he was playing all along
Categories:
competitor, analogy, conflict,
Form:
Free verse
Seldom in life does one feel the effects,
Of another’s SIXTY YEARS of lifespan;
But now and again, God gives us respect,
For the lives of extraordinary men.
Such was the case, with the ‘Walkin Man’s Friend,’
His own walk, amazingly profound;
A Patriot’s son, from beginning to end
A selfless giver whose story astounds.
Early on it showed—he really liked cars,
And his boat—he was at home on the sea;
But his love for people, numbered like stars,
Is what made him a genuine Marquis!
A lifelong athlete, he loved every sport,
A tough competitor, true to the Word;
His epic philanthropy—giving limitless support,
To worthy causes, about which he’d heard!
A family man—who departed far too early,
Happy-go-lucky, his legacy today;
This mountain of a soul, faithful and burly,
"Smile, be happy, live well"—he'd now say!
During this hard time, as together we grieve,
Recalling his humor, right up till the end;
Live a little bit extra, each day for our Steve,
Now forever memorialized as—the Walkin' Man’s Friend!
Categories:
competitor, appreciation, blessing, happiness, inspirational,
Form:
Rhyme
I sit here twitching, shaking, in a panic
I don’t want to do this again, I hate feeling frantic
Don’t let this happen, don’t let me slip away
Into the darkest depths of my mind, nothing to say
At first these experiences seem inviting
But here there’s no such thing as deciding
The light is so bright and luminous at first
Until its’ quickly dimmed and the pain it causes hurts
The darkness creeps in like a predator
With the dim light as it’s’ competitor
Who’s going to win this time, this fight?
Who’s going to give the hardest bite?
Stuck between pure happiness and sadness
There is no explanation to this uncomfortable madness
Waiting, waiting; for this too shall pass
While the emotions in my head encompass
My heart surrounding the insufficiencies of my head
The feelings so heavy as if my heart is fashioned out of lead
Like I’ve got shackles on my hands and around my feet
In this state of mind everything seems obsolete
Categories:
competitor, depression, how i feel,
Form:
Prose Poetry
Like anything
There are two edges to this sword
The ragged one has, for now, cut too deeply
The reality of its cleaving
And the intent of the hand it is wielded by
Thickens the blood that weeps from its wounds
To collect in a puddle of deep discouragement ... and frustration.
The keen, clean edge shines as always
Kept in precision by the kindness and friendship
Of those whose genuine caring and appreciation of my work
Has been the true motivation of this journey
From the first moments I placed my feet on its path
And I shall treasure it always, held close.
But my weary eyes must turn from the darkness and animosity
The nefarious creatures that move in the shadows
Wend motivations that are contrary to my beliefs and cares
My gaze seeks a bluer sky in day - a more dazzled vault in eventide
A brighter reach to glow and call and stir within
One with hope and encouragement and appreciation
And perhaps, dare I say?
The opportunities of publication and true craft.
Perhaps it is a dream, that
But dreams are what keep us young
Dreams are what push us to keep searching for the righteous path
And striving for the brighter meadows ... the truer stars.
Oh, I will yet be about - a poem here, a contest there, a comment-or-two
But only as the dancing ghost that I have become of late
That I have been told - by indirect fashion - I am
No longer a threat, competitor or antagonist
But a friendly phantom, a role I much prefer ... and affirm to
For after all, ghosts are never missed
Nor are they needed.
Blessings, Dear Poets.
Submitted on February 18, 2020
To the "Strand Select T Any Form Any Theme" Poetry Contest
Brian Strand, Sponsor.
Categories:
competitor, analogy, introspection, metaphor, poetry,
Form:
Free verse
If you hear the sound of rat-tat-a-tat
It's not a woodpecker or a chattering cat
Tis George F. Latulence an aristocrat
Playing ping pong with his gold crested bat.
A competitor and show-off he deems to be
Dresses each day in his noble finery
Pantaloons his normal fancy day wear
His ancestry, finery, regalia, style flair.
He never shares glory or plays with a partner
Winning trophies for himself, what he is after
Agile and swift, rarely points he would miss
The downside came, when you did get that whiff.
To gain advantage, a parp he would do
Clenching bum cheeks, in case he followed through
High class energy foods for his body to sustain
But his parping was every one else's nose bane.
George on first serve, parped, as he hit the ball hard
Swiftly attacking, George butt did bombard
In that spilt second threw off his opponent
Point gain to George, aided by his flatulent moment.
Silent and deadly they all came out fast
Odourous gas from George nuclear fueled ar$e
If one made a noise he'd give a loud grunt
That was his bum burping cover up stunt.
Knew there was trouble when audiences pulled faces
Some even fainted, brave stayed in their seat places
George didn't care, just wanted top podium status
His methods and thinking obnoxiously atrocious.
Audience faces were different shades of green
People were swaying, some even vomiting.
He called it his ping pong, parp-crafty-art farts
Next point to win, final round about to start.
The ball went to and fro like a speeding fast bullet
George, with match point, he was about to secure it
Hitting an ace, made a spark, that caused a boom blast
Left the audience with mix feelings of relief and aghast.
Breaking news of his death headlines did broadcast
Even able to download from what's called a podcast
George F. Latulence died from a blast from his ar$e,
He blew up one too many, too dense and not sparse.
May The Gas Be With You Farts Part 2 Poetry Contest
Sponsor Chantelle Anne Cooke
Written 07.10.21
Categories:
competitor, games,
Form:
Rhyme
Categories:
competitor, loss
Form:
Say I am willing to spill a cup of coffee all over your shirt…, all in the name of oops
Say waking up to the smell of Caffeine is the only competitor worthy to bruise the snooze button of an
alarm clock
Say it, Say I belong
To the darkest shade of your outta skin
Before you can tear it off to match the complexion of the main character in this scene
Of witnessing domineers playing slave to what could have been
Say I am ready to be your submissive
Your muscles without brains
Your black stallion on your most savage moments
Like, like instead of being the runaway bride
You opt to walk away
Say I am ready to be your movie
On my mute days of saying nothing
But you and you alone get to read the subtitles of my untold story…, verbally spoken
Your DSTV explorer when you want to pause live transmission of what is currently going over to you
Rewind and select which language you want to hear it coming from me
French: Je t’aime
Spanish: Te quiero
German: Ich liebe dich
Croatian: Volim te
Italian: Ti amo
Portuguese: Eu te amo
English: I love you
Ke ya o rata, that is in my mother tongue Sesotho
Say my life is in your finger tips
Say yes, you can touch my hair, invade my space and speak life where I left clues of death having a way
with me
The death toll rising like heavy floods colliding with a reservoir but the flow
Being a tar road
Say I want I and I to be your Noah
And you can be my arch
And together the becoming of what is yet to be written about shall happen there and then…
Building you, was already a way out
A piece of hope but only work is the only thing standing between you and becoming true
The agony, filling my soul up
That faith, never shows up nor never does it leave
He moves when you pray, that’s how it has always have been
Say, I will take Bible classes for you
, because I want to get it right
Walk in the footsteps of Jacob
Have an attention to detail like Boath
These men got the chance to do, what they had to do when they were still alive
Sing it
The gospel of our love is ready to be sang
Sing it, out loud
So that those who have not
Categories:
competitor, art,
Form:
Light Verse
A Winston churchill’s declaration
to a tiny nation situated in the dark continent
due to its magnificence and sight capturing habitat
only matched by the electrifying effect of its hospitality.
A country where wealth has long made a short call
and yet to return to where it is needed.
Starvation on Boda-bodas, perambulating across its communities
as a longing for good life is never satisfied.
Yet happiness supersedes lack
on a nation which is tree loving;
a global competitor in Bananas, pineapples and Avocados
and a home to extinction-kissing Gorillas.
Satisfaction from pan fried grasshoppers
equates the appetizing feel of Italian pizzas and Turkish Donas.
Gender division of labour quite one-sided
where men are roof installers and women, the actual builders.
No wonder, female engineers and contractors
have long attracted the norm in a society
which is in love with Bicycles
and buttoned by a twin dry seasons.
Bwindi and Mhahinga are major game reserves
but its stand out feature so unique
is the simple fact it’s the youngest country in the globe
with one in every two, fourteen or below.
Categories:
competitor, africa, education, environment, nature,
Form:
Ode
Although East Germany is no longer around,
there are several other Eastern European countries to be found.
Some in the West consider us a competitor to NATO.
Only about our daily business we will go.
There is Poland, the Czech Republic, and Slovakia.
We have Romania, Hungary, and Bulgaria.
These are the members that exist at our core.
We have been together since the end of the last World War.
These nations are united as one for the world to see.
Together, we comprise one big happy family.
Categories:
competitor, history, political, world,
Form:
Rhyme
Ferret Legging
You never know what you’ll find on the net
Nothing much surprises me there and yet
I found a sport that takes no native skill
Just a strong pair of pants and a real strong will
Competitors’ trousers are tied neath their shin
Before two ferrets are securely placed in
Their belts are then fastened to prevent an escape
And that’s where the very strong will should take shape
Each competitor then stands in front of a judge
As long as he can trying so not to budge
Neither ferret nor man can be drunk or be drugged
And no underwear worn so your parts can be hugged
Pants must be loose so the ferrets can roam
From one leg to the other and their movement shown
Each ferret must have a full set of teeth
That have not been blunted or anyway sheathed
Ferrets have claws like very sharp pins
And teeth like a carpet tack that they can sink in
And ferrets are biters and you’ve got a pair
So your “tool” may be bitten and you better not care
Competitors can attempt from outside their pants
To dislodge a ferret that’s latched on by chance
The winner’s the guy that outlasts the rest
And stands there the longest in this little test
Scotland’s the country where this all began
And the record is held by a brave Scottish man
The record’s been set that will be hard to beat
Five hours 10 minutes and still on his feet
Unfortunately the sport’s been dying out
With PETA and others protesting the bout
But if you’re in Virginia, in Richmond next year
And go to the Highland Games there I hear
They may have a ferret or two up their sleeve
That you can insert in your pants I believe
And if you can just stand there for six hours or more
You can bring the world record right here to our shore
But first grab some loose pants and maybe a kitten
Practice with that getting use to being bitten
Work up to a cat and then up to two
That is exactly what I thought I’d do
Then I thought again and again then I thought
Can a lesson be learned before that lesson’s taught?
So I tried to imagine how a ferret would feel
Could I stand there a man without a girly squeal?
Would I be embarrassed or pass out from fright
And I thought and I thought and I thought that I might
So I’ll go on record, this sport’s not for me
But if you’re game to try it, that I’d go to see
Categories:
competitor, animal, sports, drug,
Form:
Rhyme
Pride is a motivator, a stimulator of scarlet soul
an accelerator to the next glorious goal
generator of newcoming awakening
cultivator out cunning the unkind
cutting away all the doubts and flouts, leaving the babel and rabble behind,
a slayer of beasts and witches,
pulverizer of all that threatens my wishes,
Pride is an educator, a teacher whom need not flatter
or conspire to push passion higher,
a preacher promisin that you can be better than you thought you were,
transformer from the mediocre to a raw reformer
makin my heart the perfect love performer
romanticizer of the love battles that my Lady and I thunder
reinforcer of our durable dreams, encourager for our beautiful hunger,
Pride has weather, moving me to smile at the wind and bear the barbs of error,
an innovator of my instincts, reflector of bleeding color
It compells me to be a competitor, a finisher, and a star runner,
my blessings won't bow to humble hoaxes
my talent cannot tolerate the tamming of tragedies
my courage will not cower with the false virtue of humble hypnotism
ain't no way a honkeytonk humbler gonna wear away my sway,
my faith will not stumble upon the stones of humble wastelands,
I wasn't born to walk with humble eyes,
I'm alive to thrive with a sacred strive,
in pride I hear the voice of my Creator say, be great or die!
J.A.B.
Categories:
competitor, heart, philosophy, pride, truth,
Form:
Didactic
The extraterrestrial guest and sovereign of blue bloods
and son of the most reverent ancient tribe and octopus’s cousin
you have been setting on emperor’s throne
from early Silur
in yours great ocean capital Ur
since 400 million years ago,
presenting for future
the jet propulsion engine,
you have been the perfect creature
primarily
and marvel of universe
with you timeless shape and rockets like semblance.
You are the worthiest successor
of the dying mankind,
this trick of nature and instant caprice.
Among the human and humanoids
extraterrestrial
who might doubt really
for your right and legitimacy
to the eternal ruling
yours majesty of cephalopods
and blue exelences?
You survived through all calamities and crisis
outlived by Erath in its long history
even falling to planet the greatest asteroids,
hiding himself on the bottom of ocean.
Even in case of the worthiest scenario
If our Globe would have been captured by Black Hole,
the Squid, your majesty, know how climb out
from that gravitational barrel
tossing up his long stretching tentacles
with powerful suckers and pointed teeth at the ends
he know as catch the seismic hubs and anchored them.
So you will able encountered and inhabited
step by step
on his supersensitive and sharp legs
did picturesque by Salvador Dali,
the whole universe.
In her structures and secrets you understand much more
then all our futurists and scientists combed together.
And Mankind from the ancient centures
has suspected in dreams and nightmares
this creatures
as his own most advanced competitor and successor
who will rise for the ruling by Earth once
on the base his truly right,
the coolest quality of his blue blood,
on the priority of birth, immeasurable history
and testifying by heck a long times.
Categories:
competitor, nature, planet, universe,
Form:
Ode
Let everyone know
whose on your lists
drop them a line this time to tell them
exactly where they sit on your favorites
let them know what their poem means to you while they are still alive
this is your interactive audience
your psychic sidekick
your spiritual inner workings guide
Let them know who is on your list
and then tell them to pay it forward and in a few more months
let it spiral out again
why sit in silence and never know
who your fans are
read up on them find their tastes
and pleasures and then help define them
Let me know please
who is reading me
tell me tell me
what poems of mine do you continually re read
the future
the future
the future we aim to touch
but if we don't work together to find out the present favorites
we might not ever know much
So teach me about my writing
who is my target audience of you
drop me aline so i can find
whose reading me and why
and what i can do
to entertain you
and the future in a better manner
so the competition will have a competitor in this corner
now please pay your favoritism forward
Categories:
competitor, education, history, inspirational, on
Form:
Free verse
She opens the DSM-5 to page 666,
Know Thyself,
who among us is not a Beast somehow,
she's enthralled by Imperfection,
It explains the scars on her heart,
if she believed in Perfection
then she would need to accept her own nature
unequivocally,
she would have to love every part of herself,
poetry is her therapy
building puzzles her bliss
solving puzzles her passion,
she is a madwoman in the 3rd degree,
a sensational spaz
believes that she is a heroine among the herd,
starlet atop a soapbox
cavalier with her cross of crass sass,
she cares too much to be free...
searching in the trauma of souls
for her own ghost
lovestruck by the Devil's lightning
Godsmacked by the grind
listening for God to apologize,
she's exhausted by cynicism
brilliant yet bitter,
a cutthroat competitor,
frozen beauty in a flame,
she expects Life to buck her every day
a jaded girl looking for the grim,
on stormy days she sings to the static
perhaps she's waiting for the Apocalypse -
J.A.B. 2020
Categories:
competitor, wisdom,
Form:
Epic