Best Chuckle Poems
Talked to a fisherman
He said he hadn’t had a bite in days…so I bit him
Hickory dickory dock
The mice ran up the clock
The clock struck one…
If he clears concussion protocol he’ll start tomorrow
Mary had a little lamb
…and mashed potatoes too.
One potato, two potato, three potato, four
That’s all I could afford so I walked out of the store
Walked into a church. There sat a tethered parrot on a perch.
With a wily rasp he asked if I could “un-tithe” him
Purchased a pack of condoms
The sales clerk said: “that’ll be $6.95 plus tax”
I replied: “forget the tacks, I’ll tie them on”
Good morning dear friends, it's a brand new day
Put a smile on your kisser and warble away
You only go round once
So don't count the months
Just giggle and chuckle and enjoy it, I say
© Jack Ellison 2015
Well, if for nothing else, I'm good for a chuckle
Each day you can count on me, before you remove your stubble
Okay ladies, this doesn't mean you
Means before you get all prettied up, woo hoo
But take care, too much strain on the giggler is not advisable
© Jack Ellison 2015
Good morning dear friends, it's a brand new day
Put a smile on your kisser and warble away
You only go round once
So don't count the months
Just giggle and chuckle and enjoy it, I say
Now that I’ve got the clarity
Of my work place solidarity
Let me focus on my chore
Minding my business core..!
Why thou Frown?
Express you mirth
Your pleasure, derision
nervousness with an audible vocal expulsion
don't at expense of others
either for pleasure or for intimidation
try to make someone happy
Chuckle, I say Chuckle
if you think it's hard
get the best medicine
Comedy, I guess
the situation is not forever
rather it's gonna be end one day
be happy and optimistic
not only your face smiling
also, your mind
never try to be vicious
never try to be barbarous
nor try to be vicious
Sadist is not allowed
try not to be moody
always be cheery.
Laugh And Chuckle
I laugh and I chuckle
I chuckle and I laugh.
I rolled on the ground.
I laugh And I chuckle.
You may want to know why.
I saw a clown and he was funny.
so I love my book
its read is so silly funny
with special humor
also had strange attitude
reads of a tale makes me smile
8/16/20
written words by James Edward Lee Sr. 2020 ©
A bad attitude is a disability in life
A positive attitude allows us to conquer strife
So chuckle each day
At things along the way
Smile your way through and carry a big knife
Does it make you chuckle
or even cause your knees to buckle
Does it make you snicker
or help your day go quicker
Does it leave you with a smile
for a little or a long, long while
Just how wide is your grin
wide enough for a double chin
Have you really laughed out loud
then of my limerick I can be proud
Woke up this morning with a head
This is the curse when you try to change the world
Gave Mary just a slight hint Tony might be bedding Jill, Joan, not excluding Alice
Big John, definitely gay, but as I explained, Billy his partner was kissing May
Mark was salivating over the barmaid Rose
God sakes man haven’t you heard, Rose used to be Fred
You could have heard a pin drop when the chuckle brothers walked in
Word on the street, Jill and Joan were in the family way
Which in any other circumstances would be okay
But everybody knew the brothers fired blanks, hence the chuckle reference amongst the ranks
Still, honour was at stake on that fateful night
A slight nod Tony’s way would start the fight
A knife to the heart was Tony’s plight
Then a voice cried out, you sure she’s a man
Well, Rose hit Mark with a pan
Big John headbutted Billy
Who landed on Tony, and one of his cronies
Mary, who had now lost the plot when Alice showed the ring Tony had bought
A bottle of bud over the head, put paid to Tony and his amorous ways
Rose stripped off, shouting, does this look like a man
Mark got up, seeing double as the chuckle brothers pushed him down again
Big John threw Billy into the air, landing on the chuckle brothers like Fred Astaire
The brothers took this as a blatant dare, shooting Billy without a care
Tony clocked Rose in her Sunday best, uttering the words, better than all the rest
This sent Mary totally insane, followed by Jill, Joan, Alice, and for some reason May
Guns were pulled, shots went astray, all aimed at Tony who looked on in dismay
The chuckle brothers in the way, killed outright on that fateful day
Legend has it, a crime of passion, no arrests were ever made
Tony fled the country, followed by Jill, Joan, and for some reason May
Mark and Rose fell in love, got married
Mary and Alice gave them away
Big John and Billy gave it another go
I was going to mention to him, but decided no
Not after all the advice I gave went untold
Still, this is the curse when you try to change the world
This is why I woke up with a head
Though, what a palaver
Was it something I said.
The empty canes of raspberries hang low
Red maple leaves are mashed up in the mud
Nature seems to hover by death’s door
Animals and humans drained as whores
No feeling ,no green sap,no flowing blood
The crackling canes of raspberries hang low as
What can we say un-cliched, metaphored?
At dawn the sun will burn despite the Flood
Nature did not force us through death’s door
Can the death of God mean this and more,
Though love and hate are fractured, life is good?
The chuckling canes the berries sang below
Can a life with heart not be restored?
End retaliation, understand
Nature did not wave us through the door
At the edge of Europe are no hordes
Jesus is more small than any bud
The crackling canes stored laughter in their cores
The remnants of the foxgloves in the wood
Wave politely . even seem to nod
The raspberry canes, the honesty know more
Nature ,light and darkness, affect stored
S
Chuckle,
Laugh,
Then, cry
Life is
Made of
Paper cuts
Along the way
There is true happiness
A rasping geyser blushes fantastically
Scratching nearby fountain crystals phenomenally
Raging in blazing triumph and snicker
Shining 'n giggling in defined flicker
Whilst falling winter laughs merrily
Into the cold brisk air trot, blithely
Nature breathes in accolade honor
That bluster in the wind wander
Evening time shines from moon far away
Stars open for light beams display
As the night rotates in silent recess
Tis' the season ascends in razzle-dazzleness
Winter chuckles, wickedly into the flutter
A snowy blast now cries in bright white clutter
And daylight blows 'n boast with glory planted
That gloat in the wind, as I watch enchanted
They probably lay about up there,
peering down through cosmic telescopes,
giggling over their mugs of stardust tea.
“Another ‘new’ get rich quick scheme?
Or a means of living forever on nothing but kale and green juice?”
They laugh, nodding — no thanks, Earthlings.
And we keep searching, sending out signals,
as they coast back, soles on placid moons,
thinking, “They’ll figure it out… eventually.”