Best Chortled Poems

On the night before Christmas, alone in my house, 
Sorrow gnawed at my soul, like a ravenous mouse.
Entombed in my blankets, I struggled to sleep,
Ready to snap if I counted more sheep.

I rose at the sound of scratching and creaking.
“Who’s there?” I cried, “Is it...

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I. The Hour of Approach

The poem I was writing refused to end—  
it kept writing me.  
Blood didn't ink these lines—  
the ink bled me.  
Each stanza a hidden-hematoma  
across the white of nothingness.

Somewhere, midnight faltered,  
and I was...

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She curled up with me on the bed, and laughed insanely
I looked at her in marvel, wondering what on earth had gotten into her
“Why are you laughing?” I asked my eyes wide in surprise.
She giggled, and wrapped her arm around me playfully…
“You and I…we’re just...

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He pulled up to the Triple "T" Ranch in a shiny Cadillac.
In his trailer was an Arabian steed with the finest tack.
He wore Tony Lama alligator boots and Calvin Klein jeans,
And a stylish Stetson hat - he looked like a man of means!
He strode to...

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The warlock said to the witch,
Man, ain't it grand living large like Oz,
being bigly Emerald City rich
The witch crowed back,
I get paid good for giving speeches
that have no policy incantation glitch
The warlock laughed hard and long,
then chortled with maniacal glee:
I like the way you got...

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In twilight's realm where...
moonbeams entwine.
There are two owls engaged...
in a contrast of minds:
A Great Horned Owl so proud and strong!
And a Great Gray Owl whis is cunning and long.

Amidst the trees their feathers shone,
"Who is the wisest?" their voices cried...

As their debate ignited, fierce and...

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The aliens landed in the wrong back yard.
Next to the apple tree of a hippie, and a bard.
I was a willing subject, which made them mad.
I like being naked, it makes me glad.

They probed my shoulder, they probed my knee.
They touched my butt, and I...

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“The Lewis Trap”



Well, of course he's misanthropic
He’s a Misanthropic Man
The Devil’s in the details
Buried deep under the covers
Of bedtime stories, slithers ‘neath loose sand

A Liddell bit of cake
A Liddell bit of julip
Sweets for a sweet pretty thing
Brings her closer, his lovely little Alice
This trapped butterfly...

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Colored yellow beneath the sunlight
Eidoloned by azure breeze of the sky
Covered green like trees of delight
Scented by wind and bubbles of lye

Corded in lamp that cools the night
Your heart throbs in counts of chite
Chortled in incense of kookabura
Quilted and freed from petals of Datura

Heart dipped...

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WINTER, 1948 [40 Saxton Street]

for W.W

The winter nights that pass now
are so unlike the winter nights
that passed before, that I often
struggle back in those suspended moments
when sleep grapples for a hold,
to once again hear the voices of those nights
and smell the smells that lingered
in those...

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I heard her cackling, wicked with delight
Looked up to find her evil silhouette
Against the amber moon Halloween night
Seeing me below, she made a dire threat

“At midnight your teeth will fall from your head
Your thick, lustrous hair will drop to the floor
Your sight will be blocked...

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Romania (laughter kills))

They hooted
When the dictator spoke 
They chortled
Odium
Giggles of utter contempt 
Then they shot him....

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Wiz Away

I entered the empty funeral hall.
Am I not at the correct memorial gathering in visitation room H?
“Excuse me, sir, but is this the memorial for Mr. Wizby?
 There is not a posting besides the entrance.”
“Never fear, you will soon behold…”

What? I think, seeing nothing...

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"50 Words for Poe: Keys"

He threw the car keys over to her
“Freedom keys babe”, he purred
“Silver Lady’s my girl” she said,

This he understood.

“Freedom keys babe, let’s blow this joint, make a getaway out of this stinkin' Hood.”

"Sure," she said, glancing over at him, throwing flames...

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The reunion that caused all of the zany brouhaha
From a family kerfuffle with one humorless raw flaw

It all went down quite swiftly, in a quick split lickety
And ended outside in the hedges most thorn thickety 

A tray of food put cattywampus on the table by...

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