Best Cheapest Poems
Balaclava'd minister in a lanky limousine
Condomised personality inside a broken mask
Skewered chopsticks serve pieces of Pancolin
Toilet paper dolphins to wipe his weary ****
Ave Maria.. Amanita Muscaria
Mycaphagists and mycaphobes
Trot the nuclear globe
Shroomy hallucigens
Amanita phalloiides
Droning overhead
I am become Death..
In 1938 Hitler kissed the Pope
In 2017 we kissed goodbye to hope
That thing with feathers of Ms Dickenson
Bards and wordsmith playing monopoly
With Wisdom and Courage
Lord , help me to accept the things.
I cannot chang...
She explained to me
The chemistry in the sea
Salt and water formula enacts a mystery
Brings increase of intelligence
Divine assistance to the brain
Blessed petrichor of rain
Make my poetry the most expensive hobby
And talk the cheapest currency
How explosion can explain to me -
The chemistry of the sun..?
Thus let dreamy slake awaken with a start
And disintegrate into matters of the heart
Categories:
cheapest, holocaust,
Form:
Free verse
Whiskey Lips So Sublime
Whiskey Lips step now over the line of true fire-water,
As a warm-burning brings forward one glowing sign.
The golden mead of sweet mountain dew appears now,
As each golden drop sighs it moment of escape and as
The alcohol signals and sparks the wildest of spirits in
One’s own true self!
This moment of sublime ecstasy excites and sparks your
Deepest inner-spirit and you begin to slur and sing loudly,
As your mind begins to reel from the drunken delight of
Your very own intoxicating breaths—noble, yet stupid,
As you become drunken forever under each psychic sip
You taketh from the deepest pool in the very depths of
Your eternal soul!
Your very eyes now glaze over a breathless message
You have found in the cheapest of whiskey bottles.
Saying a divine prayer to Almighty God Himself,
You open the bottle cork now and take notice that a
Little genie pops out of nowhere and begins to take all
Three of your mythic wishes granted together into one!
With that, this little genie shall begin dancing and singing
An ancient Irish whiskey song in your presence into the
Wee hours of the morning until you both pass out and fall
Into a drunken stupor with your whiskey lips so sublime!
Gary Bateman and Liam McDaid, A Collaborated Poem
Copyright © All Rights Reserved – July 23, 2018
(Free Verse)
Categories:
cheapest, allegory, celebration, fun, happiness,
Form:
Free verse
Sponsor Nancy Jones
Contest Name Things that suck
Lest we forget the Bad decisions …
(Myxo the rabbit steal the Bagmans Bunny), first use of a deadly weapon
( Cane toads 4 cane beetles,)( 12 atom bombs exploded …what!!!)
Does anyone remember back in 1955 …
why we were blessed with atom bombs….
we are lucky to be left alive …
The Liberals said its fine…
No need to bloody worry mate….
12 atom bombs that’s all…
The Poms might us incinerate…(British)
And leave some mushrooms tall…
And we of the convict strain …
10 Thousand died that’s all…(bones kept 12 thousand suspicious deaths….)
Brisbane town a falling radioactive rain …
Geiger counter saw it fall……….tech guy couldn’t zero the counter it got worse near window,
rain in Brisbane…..1955/56
So I said to a Pom you dropped the bomb….
No, a tower they’d had a seat…
Strontium 90 in the milk for some….
Off the grass the cows did eat…….free milk for the school kiddies back then:(…
So the order of the garter …
Was given to some mug …
For atom bombs the barter….
And they surely burnt our rug.. :(
The master is there for the master….
To keep the worker down …..
To contract for the cheapest slave…
Like the business side of town …….
The CSIRO man Marston? In the fifties found enlarged thyroids in sheep he checked all over
Australia Found evidence of the radioactive poisoning of Australia …He tried to warn the
Australian public but only got his comments In some farmers magazine due to political
interference by the master …..
This is what happened and there is a documentry available in the Aussie ABC shop.
Categories:
cheapest, adventure
Form:
Rhyme
Contract
In a little town away out west ,
the Contract was out,
the thunderboxes best,
Tommy Bumble offered 20 cents a tin,
To take the human manure in,
With the contract he was blest,
Tommy Tartar was in haste,
He offered twenty five cents,
got replaced,
By the cheapest contract in,
His fart cart got a win,
He got the council contract.
This is just how business works,
When Abbot gets you contracted, an smirks,
Your lowest wage HE does win,
Others cheaper offerings,
Might undercut your perks,
Cheap labour for the cunning rich,
Contract forced on the worker,
Howard’s damned work-choices pitch,
Voters rejected him, the smirker.
Their aim is just to buy you cheap,
More dollars for the greedy creep,
Will you join up with the other sheep
And get mulesed into the bargain,
Weep…
Don Johnson
Categories:
cheapest, adventure,
Form:
Ballad
Tanks
"Da Tanks, da Tanks."
The President is not Chairman Mao.
Come on now!
Gads, what an ungrateful nation!
Perhaps haughty Don Lemon or
that court jester, Jim Acosta,
Two snobby nobodies behind
a mike, turning brains to mush
every night,
Could please each American
just right?
Go online tomorrow, you will
find how many presidents used
tanks and fly-overs.
The list is long, we are not
Tianimin Square!
But CNN and MSNBC, masters
of disinformation,
Make you think so!
Truth to them is totally cracked
and libelous information.
Such elitism, and political bigotry!
With utmost conceit will not cover
the DC events.
But! Will have proponents of
abortion on most happily.
Killing babies is OK, don't you see?
JFK, oh, so revered, had tanks
too!
And Fly Overs are happening,
even at football and baseball games.
And many civic events, yes!
So stop the hysteria over this
bizarre craziness.
Our country, our values are
being shredded.
Like the cheapest Wal-Mart
lettuce.
Wake the heck up!
Obama had more than enough sense
to have TWO Betsy Ross flags
behind him at BOTH of his
inaugurations.
Nobody said a word. Huh?
MSNBC, you all,just compared
the Betsy Ross flag to a
Swastika?
Oh, Lord, the total number of brains
there?
The size of a small brassica!
*Brassica~ a mustard plant
July 4, 2019
Ya..Let Freedom Ring
Categories:
cheapest, america, encouraging, independence day,
Form:
Rhyme
It makes me so sad
To see people afraid
But the governor called a lockdown
And it must be obeyed
I've got the COVID-19, the pandemic Coronavirus blues
And I'm getting more depressed whenever I turn on the news.
The stores ran out of sanitizer
And I felt like I was throttled
When the cheapest price online
Was $20 a bottle
So I went down to the pub
To get some space to think
But all the bars were closed
And I couldn't even get a drink!
I've got the COVID-19, the pandemic Coronavirus blues
And I get more depressed whenever I turn on the news.
It's been weeks since I've seen pals
And now I'm left in the lurch
I got dressed up Sunday morning
But I couldn't go to church
Everybody's staying home now
And there's not a car on the street
And I can't even talk to you
Unless I'm standing back six feet!
I've got the COVID-19, the pandemic Coronavirus blues
And I get more depressed whenever I turn on the news.
Categories:
cheapest, blue, health, sick,
Form:
Ballad
The moon sunk her teeth in a sky of black,
Over city backdrops and the scent of crack,
Neon spilled burning through traffic veins,
Dead man's handles on subway trains.
I tasted of acid in the end of night,
Snow descended dirty, off-white,
Staring through curtains at six a.m.,
Into the kitchen and back again.
All currency spent in the cheapest of bars,
The ones beside wreckage of burned-out cars,
Drinking from morning 'till midnight chime,
With stoned stool-pigeons and lives of crime.
I hurt nobody, only hurt myself,
Sat in the shadows, toasting my health,
As sleep comes calling I start to fall,
A dreamer washed-up with no dreams at all.
Don't tell any secrets, don't tell any lies,
There's enough depiction in these blood-red eyes,
Don't require religion or my soul to save,
Or a shallow legend on a shallower grave.
I could preach you sermons to warp your mind,
I could show you things to strike you blind,
But the world won't listen, it remains the same,
Always leaves me stranded with a crying shame.
Categories:
cheapest, death, introspection, life, mystery,
Form:
Verse
Generals measure the cost of war in human lives
Soldiers toast its value in the cheapest of dives ...
Their stomachs in knots all night and day
Mothers find war's price too steep to pay
Categories:
cheapest, life, mother, soldier, war,
Form:
Couplet
You know, I thought changing one’s job would be easy,
To start a new vocation would be breezy.
I got me local newspaper, looking for a job as a sparky, (electrician)
But I said “what the F-ck, these ads were written by a sarky.”
The first job was an “Almond Knocker,”
Now this sounds as sleazy as sniffing used jockstraps in a locker.
Who wants to look for an almond the shape of a woman’s top half of her anatomy,
But, looking at women’s breast to find one that looks like an almond, appeals to me.
The second job was a “Blind Hooker,”
Now what can I say, that’s a woman’s job and boy she’ll have to be a looker.
She would be the cheapest thrill you’d ever have
You can imagine the police chasing her as she is lead by her all eye seeing sat nav.
Nope not for me…
Uuhh! Here’s one for me, “Bosom Presser”
Squeeeezing them breasts from the largest to the lesser.
I gave them a call straight away
Only to find out the job was not really that way
Dam!
The next one was, what the f-ck? a “Dike Stoneman”
Well I don’t think any man can
This must be a woman bouncer for a happy club ( I hope this is more politically
correct than saying “Gay”)
The one you greet say “Hey Bud”
Well later I googled the titles and yes you right, I was wrong,
I suppose me old job will be lifelong
Overworked, under paid
Oversexed under laid
Here are a few more jobs I came across, an “Egg Smeller, Chicken Sexer, Pillow Girl
:-) , Butt maker, , Fire Drier (never heard of wet fire) and for all you animal lovers out
there, Frog Shaker, Monkey Tail Puller and those who don’t change their underwear,
a Skid Marker
Categories:
cheapest, funny, life, workme,
Form:
Rhyme
Recently broke free from the chains of apartheid
the bottom region of the second largest island
possessing three power houses to the usual one
and one of the local champions spare heading its region.
It has its own share of true records
housing both the smallest and largest plants.
The only volunteer to abandon programs of nuclear developments
and boasts of a population worthy of a global market.
From the cheapest electricity to the largest wine route,
to the train which is most enjoyable and expensive
and a street shined on by two golden stars,
but now gradually becoming a chronic and xenophobic addict.
Categories:
cheapest, earth, environment, society,
Form:
Ode
I think your natural habitat is bed.
Although you do so nicely,
in your kitchen, baking bread,
and when at the dining table,
can enjoy the cheapest red,
still, I think your natural habitat is bed.
You paint truly lovely pictures,
in all colours, blue to red,
write some you beaut bonzer verse,
as swells a modest feller's head,
but you're at your most creative
when cavorting with clothes shed.
So I think your natural habitat is bed.
You're really such a lot of fun
at things much better left unsaid
but should we laugh the way we do?
Should we groan some more instead?
Perhaps neighbours might be thinking
we ain't really too well bred?
But you're such a lovely lady
and I'm so very easy led
so I think your natural habitat is bed.
Categories:
cheapest, humorous,
Form:
Rhyme
SILENT PARTNERS
For a friends advice how far would you walk
Friends are often the ones who dont talk
It's no coincidence man's best friend doesn't speak
What kind of world would such havoc wreak
You have his trust love and attention
YOU CAN BE SURE
There are things he would not mention
His counsel is kept in strict confidence
Silence is his not one uttered sentence
No better friend to have than a dog
Unlike humans he's quiet as a log
Another good listener not talker of course
Would be none other than one silent horse
Who listens to problems troubles and woes
Only a flick of the ear showing what he knows
He keeps what is heard in sworn allegiance
and payment is only a very small pittance
This would be just a scratch on the ears
An equitable payment for all he hears
What one should know or know it ought
Such love is the cheapest thing never bought
ELIZABETH SMITH
Categories:
cheapest, animal,
Form:
Couplet
What is free?
Was it the chains on my, ancestors feet?
To be free?
If caught was the risk of, getting beat,
Free?
The cheapest word with a, fee,
Free?
There's the lottery then homeless who, never eat,
To Be free?
Does this mean Rosa Parks can, keep her seat?
What is free?
The cost of a dollar i'd never see.
FREE?
The most expensive to be...
Categories:
cheapest, dream, feelings, introspection, meaningful,
Form:
Couplet
Old Mr. Nicholson
totters across the town square
to the barbershop where
Clive has cut his hair
for the last forty years or so
Not hardly needing
even a trim
but pretending
he has a reason besides
the gossip waiting within
Inside, the shop smells like hair tonic
shaving cream and old leather
and the only noticeable things
that Clive's changed
in the last forty years
are the calendar, magazines
and gumball machine
Tall and gaunt, Clive stoops and
shuffles around the shop
a bit slow and shaky, but still
the cheapest and best around
as he drawls out the latest
scuttlebutt from all over town
Harry Van Hoorn leans
sideways in the old barber chair
hanging on every word like an old hound
ears flapping in the breeze
making an odd squinchy face as he
holds back a sneeze
bits of loose hair tickling his nose
While old Arnie Bruner
broods in the corner
his usual sour-faced self
like an old prune
all wrinkled and dried up
without a single good thing to say
“Well, hello Ed!” Clive stops and says
as Mr. Nicholson sidles in
he amiably waves his comb in the air
continuing to work on Harry's hair
thoroughly ignored as he
continues to speak
“Long time, no see!” Harry sings out
even though they were both
in here just last week
“Hiya Harry!” Mr. Nicholson says
in his high-pitched little whine
“Have you heard about-”
“Oh wait, lemme guess-” Arnie breaks in
in his growly bass
“...it's about that place... next door to-”
“Jim and Grace” Harry cuts in
“No, I was going to say-”
Mr. Nicholson chirps
a bit snappily
“It must be about Jenny Mae...”
Harry chortles gleefully
“No, it's gotta be about Faye!-”
Arnie belts out grumpily
Meanwhile, they're missing
all the scorching details
of the greatest scandal
as Clive croons on
amid the din
of his gabby, blabby customers
each desperate
to get a word in
Back and forth, in and out
with bickers and shouts
hums, warbles, trills, groans
solos and accidental duets
their crazy cacophony has become
a funny (albeit gossipy) kind
of barbershop quartet!
Categories:
cheapest, community, humanity, humor, humorous,
Form:
Free verse
I’ve seen the seaman’s life around,
So, when I step on solid ground,
Where I’ve forgot how life self goes,
Who rules this world and how grass grows,
I have a feeling of distortion
Of everything to smallest portion,
And breeze that blows humans’ faces
Out to the ugliest grimaces
Again remind me days and nights
That being spent away from lights,
The cities’ smogs and women’s laces,
Were fulfilled with the Ocean races,
Night watches, squalls, and pitch, and roll –
To name a few to d*mn’em all!
The sunsets miles away from home
And countries hardly ever known
To those wasting lives ashore,
The highest tides and cheapest whores,
The destined ups-n-downs after
I only heard the Fortune’s laughter,
When everything that I could make,
Was my face’s smiling poor fake!
I do remember ships-n-captains,
The seamen’s dreams of life like sultan’s,
Drake’s Passage monster waves and waters,
Chinese typhoons and bloodshed slaughters,
The taste of salt upon my lips,
The Lord God’s mercy giving tips,
Sea spirit, zest and playful mood
That raise up right in neighborhood,
Yet frequent kicks and rare smiles,
Else shipborne deaths, officials’ files,
And - to complete this shortest list –
Dead leeward leak and starboard mist!
Categories:
cheapest,
Form:
Rhyme