Best Chainsaw Poems

There was a lumberjack from Borehamwood 
A chainsaw mishap took off his manhood
His Love life now a mess 
And it caused him great stress
So he...

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Beautiful berry bushes have grown renegade all over our yard.
Garden catalogs call them this, it is not a name I made up.  They are...

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Jim was a lumberjack from Borehamwood
A chainsaw mishap took off his manhood
His Love life was a mess
He now suffers from stress
So he made himself one...

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Remember the story 
of Billy Goats Gruff?
The troll under the bridge,
and all of that stuff?
If you liked that old story
it's all good and well,
but it...

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Driving along the dark deserted road,
only noise I heard was the croak of a toad,
passing on either side the silhouettes of the trees,
my window rolled...

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My heart was pumping hard that day I faced the maddening crowd, 
Despite the spinning in my head I stood there mighty proud. 
Though racked...

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Once commenced the fest of feasting and giving thanks for genocide,
‘Tis the season to be jolly to replace our thoughts of suicide.

Santa claws his way...

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Ghost Buster’s Eve
‘Tis the time
to shoot slime.

Adults Only Costume Party
Sex kittens prance.
Sultry nurses dance.

Party Food
Served eyeball soup
and goopity goop

A Bobbing Good Time?
Apple I get;
face sopping...

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Incredible Product Warnings

By Elton Camp

Far from folly this hair dry warning is keeping
In telling snoozers, “Do not use while sleeping”

Thinking of putting a curl in...

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I am watching a flipper show 
Where pairs of two 
Run around 
A Flea market 
Making deals 
Competing with the other pair 

The entire show...

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Now don't you be complaining that I snore
when you be the one sounding like a chainsaw
cause of you I toss and turn every night
pull the...

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i think
thinking
many thoughts
of what and
what not

words wield 
power as it's
said about
the pen and
the sword

but the poet
chosen need not
pull the pen
from the
stone

no need to be
Arthur but...

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As kids we called it Springsure’s Hill,
A wonderful place to hone our skill,
Playing in scrub till light was gone
Hide and seek with my brother Ron.

We...

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A gentle breeze fluttered the curtain I hid behind, as I strained to hear above the 
pounding of the heart that was trying to break...

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I will take my Chainsaw and pruners too
Just to see what I might run into
I will ride the trail to the end
Then turn around and...

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