Best Bust Poems
A feller went to the doctor's office 'cause he wasn't feelin' well.
The doctor said, "You ain't lookin' all that swell, this I can tell!"
He had a banana stuck in his right ear and a celery stalk in his left!
From his nose dangled a pair of carrots thus leavin' him quite bereft!
The doc without further examination relieved him from his plight,
Sayin', "You gotta change yer eatin' habits! You're not eatin' right!"
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved
Categories:
bust, health, humorous,
Form:
Couplet
Dragon got excited, just the other day
He wanted to meet his Dragon friend Drag
Way out in that Lone Star Texas State
So he donned his really big Texas boots and hat
Put his courageous penguins right there, on his back
They too, were dressed in their cowboy best, duds N stuff
Then low and behold, my sweet little idiot, really did take off
To find Walker Texas Ranger, he said, and without me along
I was left there, staring, cause he didn’t invite me, awe Gee come on!!
Now I’d have to chase him in our really fast 50’s car that goes 22mph
But only to the edge of town, for he is a 3 year old baby dragon, after all
Yep, at that age, his body is big and his wings are small!
Yeah! It’s true. Don’t you know. Now, imagine the trouble he’s into!
Luckily he missed the house and barn, but nose-dived into the snow
Yep, the drift 4 stories tall! Thought we’d be searching there, for days
But out, from far below, came a mighty roar, from VERY deep within
Seems he didn’t like so much snow in his Widdle Baby Face and skin!
I’m laughing here, (again) Folks, but with that we knew where to begin.
It took the Fireman, Policemen, Butcher, Baker, and Candlestick Maker…
To finally get him out, fortunately, we have put trackers on the penguins
Yep, that helped to get THEM out. Isn’t technology marvelous? I say!
HEY! LITTLE penguins, BIG snow! Even you can figure THAT one out!
Seems their new necklaces with trackers, were perfect in this much snow
Yep! When we pulled Dragon out, his fire was (again) puffing snow!
The Trolls counted penguin toes to make sure we had them all.
Hey, don’t ask! Simply remember that they are Trolls, so no need to ask…
We made it home by nightfall and tucked all our tired little babies in to bed
Just so you know… Sorry Drag… The visit will have to wait, for a while
But perhaps we can try (again) next Fall, when the snows are melted.
Some more… Well… At least we can hope!
Categories:
bust, adventure, fantasy, fun, funny,
Form:
Light Verse
take, take, who’s on the make? and do some
people have a vested stake?
now tax is surely a painless way, to right
whole countries and save the day,
if medals are struck as some time they may
in honour of those who have made the way,
and what will the legends and letters say
as Ireland and Greece go down the slide,
and Portugal's on a roller coaster ride, (doctors)
have made provision for this long haul way,
no more to boom! It’s bust, bust, bust, so the interest
pillow is a dead cert must! but have our saviours’ today,
managed to saddle still salvageable
economy's into a hundred years of H P paydays..?
© Joe Maverick 31-1-2011
for Carolyn Devonshire's (taxing times contest)
Categories:
bust, business
Form:
Rhyme
Young and single, just got a job in a neighbour town,
Thought I’d buy a flashy car so I could get around,
My boyfriend at the time said that I should get a Camaro,
It was new, orange and shiny, how could I be so narrow.
I crowned her Bess and drove her home with pride,
All my friends called, they wanted to go out for a ride.
Summer was so much fun, what a splash I was making.
Then gone, both summer and the boyfriend I was dating.
Winter rolled in with tons of snow and patches of ice,
Getting to work in my Camaro, was like rolling the dice.
Ol’ Bess would skid to the left and swerve to the right,
Wow, I held on to the steering wheel with all my might.
So I resigned that Bess was not good in cold weather,
Even with snow tires, she blew around like a feather.
Then suddenly a new quirk started as I turned on the key,
She spluttered, oh great, guess I won’t make the grand prix.
Bess would start well at times then for no good reason,
She’d stammer, then stop, reek of gas - in any season.
Bess and I visited many auto repair shops by way of a tow,
The carburetor was like a fountain, out of it the gas would flow.
Apparently a carburetor is needed to make Bess purr,
So I had it rebuilt, then replaced, oh the bills, what a blur,
Then a starter motor and strut, remember Bess is brand new,
After three years of aggravation, I traded her in, I was through!
Guess a cool single girl may look good in a splashy sports car,
But if your car doesn’t start or run, you won’t get too far.
So I put on my sunglasses, look cool but feel like a real wart,
As I drive to work in sleet and snow in my old Ford Escort.
Written for Contest “Driving Me Crazy”
Won 6th Place
Categories:
bust, funny, natural disasters, work,
Form:
Rhyme
Raining cats and dogs, we didn’t want to get wet through
We dashed to the bus stop, to shelter as you do
There we huddled under the shelter as a cosy retreat
But a storm was brewing right under our feet
A lady held her umbrella up to protect her head
It was dry under the shelter but still she went ahead
She was twirling it round and poked a man in the eye
He wasn’t going to let this selfish action pass him by
He asked her very nicely to put the umbrella down
She got VERY irate and started to shout and frown
Soon expletives were flying- we moved out of the way
She cursed in Italian, we could understand what she did say
Umbrellas started flying- it turned into quite a fight
They were whacking each other with all their might
Suddenly a huge wave broke from the sea shore
We jumped out of the way to avoid any more
But the fight it continued and spilled on to the street
The words that were flying I could never repeat!
It was such a spectacle, everyone was staring
The foul mouth woman retreated but continued swearing
All she needed to have done was put her umbrella down
Sadly in reality she became the talk of the town.
A true event which happened on 1st November
2nd November 2015
Categories:
bust, anger, rain, violence,
Form:
Couplet
no time for dress or thought
not even hold on a second
as our portal of sanctuary
came crashing to the ground
an integral part of the process
of being extracted
down the street past our home
past the icy sustained glare
of neighbors I crept for this scene
so surreal in its power
sent a message to those
inclined to protest or pursue
get back-get back-stay back
our dog howled under the moonlight
then stared in silence at me
and that bowling ball that somehow
found its way to the kitchen sink
stoically did the same
Categories:
bust, surreal,
Form:
Free verse
From an old wooden shack
Beside a long dusty road
In the county ten miles from town
Their bare feet did stroll
In the thirties eating dust
Following the slogan California or bust
As jobs around here were nil, if found
Many an old automobile
With those slick and worn wheels
Heading west in search of that gold
As they bypassed the New Deal
Looking for a job and a new start
With blistered feet and bleeding hearts
Near starvation and shivering from the cold
No jobs only heartaches
And no vagrants wanted here
Lord, they’d heard all these words before
As now hunger was their fear
From the dustbowl of the thirties
To the California coast
Finding only hatred and closings of the door
Categories:
bust, depression,
Form:
Iambic Pentameter
A man who was built like an horse
Was stunned by his recent divorce
His wife learned her knockers
Excited some gawkers
And all of them could stay the course!
Categories:
bust, humor,
Form:
Limerick
i bust my trousers
and my shirt buttons fly off- -
picks up a dumb bell
*I hope to lose my belly - but I say that every year...
for Tracie's New Year haiku contest
Categories:
bust, hope, new year,
Form:
Haiku
California or Bust
My girl, California gave me her trust
unwilling she with the aspect of lust
but she soon would rejoice
when she gave me a choice
I could explore California or Bust
Bawdy Limerick Poetry Contest
Sponsored by Tania Kitchin
California or Bust
May 19, 2019
Categories:
bust, funny, sensual,
Form:
Limerick
I am not easily embarrassed
But one day I was being harassed,
for breast feeding my child on the bus.
The ignoramus caused such a fuss.
I flustered and jumped off in a huff.
On entering a shopping mall,
I noticed the shoppers stall,
while passing myself and baby Paul.
On glancing down I found
a breast, pointing at the ground.
Oops!
03/07/2016
Categories:
bust, anti bullying, bullying, caregiving,
Form:
Rhyme
I'm gonna quit this Smoking
I've heard a Smokers say
I'll go and by some Cintax
to make it go away.
He tried it several times
at a hundred bucks a whack
But the habit wasn't broken
it just kept coming back!
He couldn't understand
why it didn't make him quit
But the key requirement was missing
and he was not aware of it.
It needs your full commitment
or you're gonna fail for sure
cause it's one of life's hardest things to do
very difficult to endure.
Nicotine is a powerful drug
its grip - so very strong
it won't give up without a fight
if you think so - then you're wrong!
You're in for quite a battle
that's why commitment is a must
it takes tremendous inner strength
without it - it's a bust!
So if you intend to be successful
and put Smoking in your past
Aid's like Cintax and Hypnosis help
but with no commitment, it won't last!
First and foremost you gotta do it right
be sure to get your head on straight
believe in yourself and have confidence
and things should turn out great.
It's far from an easy thing to do
and it's gonna be rough, I contend
but the resulting good health and money you save
is well worth it in the end.
STOP SMOKING I KNOW YOU CAN DO IT!
Categories:
bust, health, inspirational
Form:
Rhyme
Pennilessness shadows black
unemployment endless track
rails tie-er less lee when dumbly staring
overdrawn account issues
another clattering smack.
Income pleat undergraduate degree
contributed to the role of a sporadic employee
time to acquire handy dandy blues clues key
lost within vacillating undermining spree.
Mental state can be a precarious widget-like thing
directly at the whim of financial sliding swing
self-destruction demonic ring
courtesy of pauperism
delivers the destructive poisoned scorpion sting.
Immortal force of please hear my cry
provide support while
under the sheltering sky
steady (just out of reach)
sought income bolster up high
mirage vision brings transient delight
to this great (former
Civil War Yankee) supreme guy.
If no breakthrough I do not foresee
charity not for profit (but only prophet) I will bee
and this blurb carved outside my cave-like hovel
many moons and break of the day find me
imploring existential vagaries this baby boomer
sans middle-aged man who hankers to be free
thus though aye to be a schnorrer
who scrounges parking lots for scattered change
yet...decries blubbering the beggar's credo
write out a check and mail to me.
Philanthropic persons
may rightfully balk and get irate
at such brazen plea to squelch
ma pecuniary financial state
yet where the crossroads of mine future
most likely crop up which
would cause far a tete a tete
meanwhile, stoicism bids me wait...
For Godot, Curly, Shemp, or Moe
the stand-in for a Stool Pigeon
or even an odd antagonist
or protagonist dreampt
by Edgar Allan Poe.
Categories:
bust, 10th grade, 12th grade,
Form:
Pastoral
Love is a sparked ember that soon will grow.
Love's a fire, it is bright at first.
But soon the spark is put out by thick white snow.
And like a spark in snow, love never works.
Love is autumn, with leaves of bright colors.
And like the leaves, you will fall.
All is well until you become dolor.
A love once strong now is nothing at all.
Hoped to never feel, the feel of heartbreak.
The thought of loosing everything in a single night.
Your mind full of anger, your heart how it aches,
Broken because you thought this one was right.
Over it is because love became lust.
So give up you will, love is a bust
Categories:
bust, desire, heartbreak, longing, lost
Form:
Sonnet
There was a girl named Trina
She was a Pearl thin ballerina
Then she ate
Chocolate cake
Her thighs are no longer leaner
Categories:
bust, body, poetry,
Form:
Limerick