Best Burping Poems
HOLIDAYS-- Cinqku
Midnight
black Friday
turkey burping
tryptophan tornado
red ink
Church bells
echoing
remembrances
disturb the secular -
rebirth
John G. Lawless
11/9/2014
submitted - Dr. Ram Mehta – Cinqku Poem – Poetry contest
Categories:
burping, culture, holiday, society,
Form:
Cinqku
Burping sulfurous fumes
its fiery belly heaves
and gas and ash erupt
knocking me to my knees.
Beneath the pumice beats
a throbbing heart of heat,
and I can feel its pulse
surging below my feet.
Treading on crackling skin
I weigh each step I take
or risk Icarus’s fate
and pay for my mistake.
I approach carefully
knowing that I could die
for beneath its chard brow
I spy the monster’s eye.
Mount Etna's dragon stirs
my imagination
as molten rock boils in
caldron of creation.
(Quatrain)
11/19/2015
Categories:
burping, beautiful, earth, imagery, metaphor,
Form:
Quatrain
If you hear the sound of rat-tat-a-tat
It's not a woodpecker or a chattering cat
Tis George F. Latulence an aristocrat
Playing ping pong with his gold crested bat.
A competitor and show-off he deems to be
Dresses each day in his noble finery
Pantaloons his normal fancy day wear
His ancestry, finery, regalia, style flair.
He never shares glory or plays with a partner
Winning trophies for himself, what he is after
Agile and swift, rarely points he would miss
The downside came, when you did get that whiff.
To gain advantage, a parp he would do
Clenching bum cheeks, in case he followed through
High class energy foods for his body to sustain
But his parping was every one else's nose bane.
George on first serve, parped, as he hit the ball hard
Swiftly attacking, George butt did bombard
In that spilt second threw off his opponent
Point gain to George, aided by his flatulent moment.
Silent and deadly they all came out fast
Odourous gas from George nuclear fueled ar$e
If one made a noise he'd give a loud grunt
That was his bum burping cover up stunt.
Knew there was trouble when audiences pulled faces
Some even fainted, brave stayed in their seat places
George didn't care, just wanted top podium status
His methods and thinking obnoxiously atrocious.
Audience faces were different shades of green
People were swaying, some even vomiting.
He called it his ping pong, parp-crafty-art farts
Next point to win, final round about to start.
The ball went to and fro like a speeding fast bullet
George, with match point, he was about to secure it
Hitting an ace, made a spark, that caused a boom blast
Left the audience with mix feelings of relief and aghast.
Breaking news of his death headlines did broadcast
Even able to download from what's called a podcast
George F. Latulence died from a blast from his ar$e,
He blew up one too many, too dense and not sparse.
May The Gas Be With You Farts Part 2 Poetry Contest
Sponsor Chantelle Anne Cooke
Written 07.10.21
Categories:
burping, games,
Form:
Rhyme
I heard a noise that sounded like a cricket
Then once again, coming from her thicket
Soozie cried, "I keep burping."
"No," I said. "It's a chirping!
I'm not gonna touch that sticky wicket."
Categories:
burping, humor,
Form:
Limerick
Junior school
Years gone by and we are all still fools
For the silly things we laughed at school
Farting and burping and breaking the rules
Making large bubble gum circles whilst swimming in the local pool
Playing tennis in the summer because Wimbledon was cool
Weekends on muddy pitches pitting your wits to tackle and duel
Flirting glances at girls although not knowing how it was cruel
Teachers bursting veins in their heads shouting to try and teach monkeys who scratch their arses and play E.T with their cagoules
Making grass bunkers in the summer with mates and a girl would show you her white knickers for some toffees and a daisy chain to amaze at and to drool
Remembering the children’s faces and the world we left behind to know that we had better times when we were all still fools.
Categories:
burping, middle school,
Form:
To you my precious Valentine,
I raise my glass of wine!
Tho' you have driven me to drink,
'Tis you I truly love (I think)!
You are so lovely to me my dear.
I shall always want you very near!
Tho' you have the couth of a battering ram,
You're still my darling Valentine, madame!
Happy Valentine's Day to you my sweet!
Ours is a romance with love replete.
But when whispering sweet nothings in my ear,
Please refrain from burping up your beer!
Happy Valentine's Day to you my beloved wife.
Without you 'twould be a very dismal life.
I'm looking forward to romantic years ahead,
Tho' the dye of your hair be purple, black or red!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(c) 2015 All Rights Reserved
Entry for Carol Eastman's "Humor Contest"
Categories:
burping, humorous, valentines day,
Form:
Rhyme
Five ducklings feeding
The back of the camper bus
proudly sported the family
seven yellow stickers ducks
five little ducklings in a line
feeding on life presented to
the world growth sustenance
nourishment and meaning
For every fellow traveller
to ponder smile anticipate
what little team was to alight
at temporary destinations
sheltered tented playgrounds
swings and roundabouts
cul-de-sacs and traffic lights
To get all ducks into a row
once they emerged enriched
our little feeding station
food bank vital well and
fields of plenty needed
diverse and un-divided
attention chaos letting go
Meal times at times with rubber
ducks in bathtubs burping
passing winds of change
incorporating kilojoules
compassion love and swirling
compromise uncertain certainty
floated in the ocean of life
yet to be swum and dived in
with the buoyancy of living
Little duckling was still small
and sat beside as older
sister eager helper supervisor
when our triplet power three
in one as courtesy of nature
and individual little mouths
to feed lay on their backs
on sleeping bags as wonderment
in waiting for the spoon with
apple mush and cinnamon
to take its turn to reach their gums
To complete the pentagon
of childish folly serious fun
and exploration another little duckling
observed from inside womb in
its fertile spring to yet conjoin the river
contemplated when and where
to splash out into beauty question marks
and tribulations sparkling brotherhood
and food for life and pleasure
whirlpools cascades and little ripples
The spoon went one to one
and to another next to here and
there forward backward and beyond
my wildest expectations of what food
and feeding holding precious gifts
in hand released from nature
into nature ingesting measured
unimaginable and definite provision
nurtures nourishes what was what is
The birds have flown the nest
they feed and feed me just the same
and it is not just those trivial stickers
sign posts on the buzling bus
and more than ever and for
every one who wants to see the
picture depiction metaphor
the unsurpassed experience
which reminds me of simplicity of
gratitude and feeling warm inside
24th May 2016
Categories:
burping, childhood, family, father, life,
Form:
Free verse
"Catch that cloud with an upturned eye,"
Said the spy with the sourpuss, sober cry,
When or whether, the weather of feathers fly high,
What are we but watchers of the sighing fly?
Whose wings chop winds with whirling rolls,
Bent in the front of the centerfold gold,
A pyrite prison ground in English pound patrol.
Pussy-foot in parchment, purloin politic by drip control.
So when the locked choke of rotten blood of shank and loin,
Beneath a twist of tumbled turn, of thumb and flipped coin,
Tossed in the tunnels of tin towers by the ton tops join,
To the castles in the east tipped spires spiked to your groins,
Popping, and prodding in the pupils of the papal pedophiles,
Emerging human minds from a wine for a while,
Slurping, and burping on the barfed-bile soaked brain smile,
Smirking snake coils caravan diamond skinny socks of argyle.
"Now catch the sky with an upturned eye,"
Said the spy with the dank dribble goblet drunk dry.
Categories:
burping, people, political, prison, rap,
Form:
Rhyme
compound word verse
Any youngster can make us smile
It's special, when it's our grandchild
it's awesome.
A new grandson brings on more fun
blond-haired, blue-eyed, the smallest one
cuddlesome.
A twelve year old girl, full of joy
Eight year old brother, busy boy
now threesome.
Shelley, Brendon and baby Case
once empty nest, a lively place
not lonesome.
Baby noise rattles our rafters
crying, sucking, burping, laughters
he's winsome.
March 20, 2014
Categories:
burping, 11th grade, grandchild, joy,
Form:
Verse
When we sneeze it feels oh so good
When someone next to you sneezes
And you didn't have an advanced warning
It's like your head almost blows off your shoulders!
It a natural bodily function just like some others
Which I won't mention at the moment
For fear of being banished from the site
But youse guys know what I mean
Like burping and farting... oops!
That's surely going to get edited out!
Why is it that something so natural
And feels so good can be so annoying
Sometimes life just isn't fair!
© Jack Ellison 2014
Categories:
burping, humorous,
Form:
Narrative
An alligator always ate addax and antelopes.
Baby bats began bouncing before burping
Caterpillars climb cable crossings carefully
Dingos don't dine delicately during dinner.
Eager elephants enjoy easily eating eggplants
Funny frogs finally find flipping fun
Granny goat 's girl got green grapes
Healthy heavy happy hippos hate horrendous heat
Iguana is inhaling icky insects
Jolly Joey Jumps joyfully juggling jelly jars.
Kevin's kangaroo keeps kicking kids
Lions like long-legged little llamas
monkeys making magical music
Nightingales nest neatly nearby
Olly's old Ostrich outruns others
Polly parrot playfully peck puppies paws
Quick quirky quails quarrel quietly
Robert's rascally rabbits racing raccoons
Slinky slimy snakes slither slowly
Tony the Tiger tasted termites.
Unusual Ukari understands us
Voracious vicarious vultures visibly vibrate
Walruses wobble while wiggling wildly
x-ray tetras want worms
Young yellow yackety Yaks yawn
Zealous Zany Zesty Zebra
Categories:
burping, animal, funny, humor,
Form:
Alliteration
Bubbles come in many forms,
some make you feel all fuzzy and warm
others are like ideas or schemes,
most however, are easily torn
Burping baby bubbles of gas,
bubbles blown that pop in the grass
football games, played in a dome,
a snow globe made of hand blown glass
Faith, as we know is a powerful sphere,
it holds us together, in a life full of fear
like a friend, you can count on, when times are the worst,
as like Christ on the cross, sheds a redeeming tear
You can count on your Faith, the Hardest Bubble to Burst,
even when the health of your body is cursed
with just a moment a day, silent in prayer,
believe in your Faith, the unquenchable thirst.
Dedicated to my Poet Friend, Carolyn Devonshire, With Love and Faith,
God Bless....Taz
For Debbie Guzzi's contest
Categories:
burping, friendship, urdu,
Form:
Rubaiyat
I saw her sitting at a table for one,
her hands were slender as she grabbed a sesame bun,
which was stuffed with three inches of smoked turkey,
onion, tomato, lettuce and Swiss cheese,
opening her red-lipsticked mouth with ease,
she bit into the sandwich relishing every bite,
delicately chewing the morsel with delight.
Next came the mound of potato salad,
covered with a hard-boiled egg and pickle,
this woman knew what she wanted, she wasn't fickle,
she cleaned her plate and wiped her lips,
then realized she had forgotten the potato chips,
her eyes shone as she munched with pleasure,
relishing every piece of her salty treasure.
She drank her coffee without slurping,
and tried to be lady-like without burping,
the waitress asked her if she would like dessert,
scanning the menu she chose chocolate cake,
even though she was full and had a belly ache,
she lost self-control at the New York Deli,
where diets are a thing of the past,
and not a place for those who want to fast.
Categories:
burping, humorous,
Form:
Rhyme
Two of the wackiest guys I know,
live two doors down,
one flight below
Tall is one, the other is short
One chirps loud all the time ... one quietly coos
Tall wears a small hat,
Short sports big shoes
Bird Brain and Pigeon Toe,
they’re two of the silliest fellas I know
Those two ditzy, dunce Dodos
live two doors down,
one flight below
Two Heckle and Jeckles,
warbling so-and-so’s
One spring cleaning time,
my fair sparrow lady and turtledove me
were shaking a dust feather
at what we heard, but couldn’t believe —
Toe tapping on the Brain
with a combination of
Muhammad Ali - Fred Astaire pure artistry
The Pigeon was floating like a butterfly,
stinging like a bee ...
putting pain on the Brain’s cheek
While we kept shaking that dust feather
at what we still couldn’t believe;
we heard hawk flap sounds,
so stark raven noisy —
Bird woodpecking the Pigeon
with a fist pounding of
a knuckle Louisville Slugger, number 23
The Brain was tapping Morse Code bulls-eye
carvings on a tree ...
putting hurt on the Pigeon’s beak
Can you believe —
Two best friends fighting like worst enemies!
When the dust settled and the air cleared,
we really couldn’t believe
what our hummingbird ears just did hear —
Loud laughter mingled with drunken cheers,
of double-burping
out an open window
Coming from two doors down,
one flight below
They’re longtime best buds —
Two of the dimmer bulbs which glow,
that have a peacock taste
for the suds
Now you now know:
A pair of the quirkiest crow chums
who roof perch together,
wing elbow
Parakeet plucky park bench bums
Total cuckoo nest best buds
Fun loving,
boon-docking couch spuds
My neighboring parrot chime fellows:
Bird Brain and Pigeon Toe,
they live two doors down,
one flight below
Categories:
burping, friendship, fun, humorous, satire,
Form:
Light Verse
Back Creek Sounds
Rhythmic wave crescendos,
Like dynamic static of radios,
Tinkling and gurgling noises,
As liquid over rocks poises,
Ospreys shriek at laughing gulls,
Slapping water on slicing hulls,
Burping diesels add staccatos,
Winds strum mast-stay legatos,
Sails fill or flap by whispered pressure,
Bouys gong in the background with hauture,
As my toes on the sand go crunch,
Shouts my stomach, “Seafood for lunch”.
Categories:
burping, boat, life, nature,
Form:
Light Verse