Best Burglar Poems
wind chimes steal focus
i am happy that it does
being lost is sweet
Categories:
burglar, nice, peace,
Form:
Haiku
As he crawled through the window flashlight in hand
Little did he know but would soon come to understand
Feeling his way around so as not to make any noise
When he heard a sound ah must be one of those darn toys
But then he heard it true now he could not misconstrue
"I see you, and Jesus sees you too"
Full of fear and fright he turned to that sound
And as he shined his light it's a silly little parrot that he found
"I see you and Jesus sees you too"
Picking up a lamp on cue he was going to...
But in dropping his flashlight on the floor it shined under the parrots table
Met with an angry salivating roar, this dog belonged in a stable
Looking back up at that goofy bird and completely frozen by fear
And then next what he heard was not what he wanted to hear
"Sic' em Jesus" is what that goofy bird said
Ripped him to pieces should have of just stayed home instead
Categories:
burglar, bird, dog,
Form:
Rhyme
The moon looked like a cat burglar that crisp November night;
clear skies but for one dark band splashed across his sight.
His guise arcane and sinister, and try hard as I might,
I couldn't help but wonder who he'd prey upon with spite.
An air of eerie stillness fell, as he cast cool silver light,
foretelling of his felony, contriving someone's cruel plight.
His luminance trespassed the land as he rose to his full height;
a meticulous surveillance to plan his act of sleight.
Disquieted I crept inside, closed the door, pulled curtains tight,
still his glow transuded every room setting all my fears alight.
Adrenalin took over, but far too scared to fight,
I sheltered 'neath the duvet to wait for morning bright.
Next morn I tiptoed down the stairs, fists clenched, my knuckles white,
but everything was in its place, the moon had taken flight.
I don't know why he visited, maybe just to be polite,
but I had uneasy feelings he'd return at next twilight.
**for 'Monorhyme Madness'
Categories:
burglar, angst, funnymoon,
Form:
Monorhyme
When a burglar ate some of my expired food, it made him expire.
The next day I learned that an attorney was who I needed to hire.
They've sent me up the river for twenty years for manslaughter.
I've lost 50 pounds because they only feed me bread and water.
I wish that I had a bottle of Jack Daniels or vodka because I want to get soused.
What the hell has the USA come to when I go to jail because a thief burgled my house?
I hadn't gotten around to throwing my expired food in the trash.
Now I cry every day because my attorney took all of my cash.
Even though he took all of my money, he lost the case.
The prisoners lust after each other in this horrible place.
I can't take this prison any longer, my situation is so dire.
If you get arrested, my lawyer is somebody you shouldn't hire.
Categories:
burglar, death, food, funny, humor,
Form:
Rhyme
Scaling the walls outside
Like an agile athlete
Prayers is going out
For the sinners, the needy
And just as the demons retreat
A sudden drop of cold sweat
Rush down the monk's forehead
For a faint sound of a window pane
Falling to the floor in splinters
The last syllable paused
To a sound so sinister
In the dead of night
Two eyes meet
It was love at first sight
The jewel the thief stole
Was the monk's heart
Incidents like this makes
Many relate to fate
For the monk love boosted his faith
As for the cat burglar
She found love and salvation
Love is divine
She couldn't help but tarried
In a few months wedding bells rang
Who would have thought
An unusual union
Love is no respecter of persons
Categories:
burglar, adventure, crazy, deep, fantasy,
Form:
Were you offered an adventure
past the gateway to the lake
for a share of golden treasure?
What decision did you make?
Were you captured by some hungry Trolls
while spying all alone?
Did the magic in the sunlight
turn your enemies to stone?
Did you travel on a pony
through the mountains in the spring?
Did you really riddle Gollum?
Did you dare to steal his ring?
Do you know the King of Eagles?
Were you once his honored guest?
Did you travel through the forest
with King Thorin and the rest?
Did you ride the running river
on a barrel made of wood?
Did you really tease a dragon?
Did it do you any good?
Do you live in Hobbit comfort
with the money that you made?
Do you boast of how the Goblins
and the spiders fear your blade?
Will you now forsake adventures?
Have you put away your sting?
Are you still the only burglar
for the Wizard and the King?
Were you truly born the only son
of Belladonna Took?
Or are you simply lost in an
extraordinary book?
Categories:
burglar, adventure, fantasy, imagination, travel,
Form:
I only shoot to kill my food
Not for pride or pleasure
I hunt the meat we all can eat
Not for a mantlepiece treasure
But late one night I was lying in bed
And someone was at my door
I jumped to my feet like a ninja in heat
And crawled across my floor
It was dark inside my livingroom
But I could see a silhouette
The next thing I saw took my breath
It's something I'll never forget
A deer was wearing a ski mask
His antlers poked out the top
I jumped to my feet as fast as I could
And yelled, "Bambi you better stop"
He turned around and began to charge
I screamed for my wife to get back
He pulled a knife and cut my arm
With another sneak attack
He chased me down the hallway
The bathroom my only hope
But when I tried to get inside
He lassoed me with his rope
He tied me up and robbed my house
My wife was under the bed
He went through all of our dresser drawers
Her underwear on top his head
He finally left, the house was a mess
There were hoofprints everywhere
He took the remote to our color Tv
And even our silverware
Before he left he pointed and laughed
And called me a crazy old geezer
But my wife is scared and cannot rest
Until I put him in my freezer
Categories:
burglar, funnyme, wife, me,
Form:
Rhyme
M-My first church was Methodist
E-Episcopal, by way of African-American experiences,
T-That I may overcome African apartheid, white then black,
H-How far the LORD has brought me, for Jesus' Heart
O-Overflowing with forgiveness, understanding, fearless-favor
D-Day by day, I seek to love Him, not idly but in hour upon hour
I-Interceding for others, saved and unsaved, both other & a brother
S-Selfish as his wife, Sister-in-Love, who stole shamelessly, family dream
T-Today I looked through window bars, at God's green, raining tears
Categories:
burglar, africa, black african american,
Form:
Alliteration
Oh hello Mr burglar mate, ....
.When you come to visit me so late, ...
you'll think me old and weak . ....
I'm old and bowed and past my prime, ....
my hair's as white as snow. ...
You'll case our house another time,....
before you have a go. ...
We watch the telly often here, ...
see death and murder there....
The old and weak they live in fear, ...
for murder isn't rare. ....
You're just a thief I hear you say, ...
I see it in your mind. ....
You think it quite a game you play....
just break in rob me blind. ....
Self preservation lingers here, ....
and death does lie in wait. ....
For in my house you'll share my fear, ....
my shot gun wont miss mate. ....
Yes then they'll come to cart me off, ...
when your soul's gone out the gate. ....
Don't underestimate old pensioner pop, ....
or you'll find out just too late.....
Don Johnson
Categories:
burglar, angstdeath, house, me, old,
Form:
Rhyme
When someone steals your heart
And whisks it right away
You never see it coming,
It’s just another day
When love is unexpected
And you’re taken by surprise
Swept up by a dancing burglar
Your heart willingly complies
It’s when you’re just not looking
That you may find your love
When one charming intruder
Dances in from up above
Categories:
burglar, love,
Form:
Rhyme
Vocal, nocturnal, creepy
Silent and sneaky
Binocular vision, sharp sight
They are active at night
We are asleep
They are awake
Our lives are at stake.
"Do not trap yourself into an owl's hooting sound where sad nights linger through the blackness of a hound".
Note.It's not the devil it's the People who work for the devil.
Lesson.Honeyed words and furtive movements are not risk free.
Moral.Police meharban to ulu gulu pehalwan.
Categories:
burglar, flying, integrity, may, prison,
Form:
Rhyme
Making a Burglar Happy
By Elton Camp
Have a flimsy lock on the exterior door
Those types all burglars simply adore
Let shrubbery grow up high and thick
Such hiding places will sure do the trick
Leave privacy fence gate not secure
Place to work where he won’t appear
Keep unlocked door from garage to house
Then he robber can enter quiet as a mouse
Windows are the easiest place to get in
Leave them unlocked and he will grin
Outside a door key be sure that you hide
So the burglar will very soon be inside
A note that you’re gone and when back
Will keep the thief on the right track
Your name outside be sure that you display
He can then look up your phone that way
If there is nobody who answers the phone
Then the burglar knows for sure you’re gone
And if your answering machine is all set
Saying your’re on vacation it’s his best bet
A vicious dog neither keep nor claim
Make the robber so glad that he came
At your house have no exterior lights
In this the burglar certainly delights
Let mail continue to pile up at your door
Allow newspaper delivery just as before
Don’t ask a neighbor to keep an eye out
So he won’t spot a suspicious person about
So it you all these things in just this very way,
The burglar will thank you for making his day
Categories:
burglar, loss
Form:
Rhyme
True story, my uncle was a famous safe cracker
Before becoming a soldier in World War One
Known to police in New York City for robbery
The army wanted his skills against the Huns
Employed him to defuse bombs the Germans threw
In the trenches around the front lines
And also to defuse all the mines around them
Till the end of the war was showing signs
Killed in the war he received a medal of honour
Posthumously for his heroic bravery
In spite of his unsavoury and unruly past
Made amends for his past so unsavoury
When I came along I was named after him
Quite a hero I always looked up to
Before the war, a burglar known to police
After death got the recognition he was due
My official name is Charles Byard Ellison
Categories:
burglar, hero, war,
Form:
Rhyme
I play the burlgar of the gates
Of the constant paradigm
Which states that never is too late
To clarify the hidden scheme
What makes the power powerful
What makes submission obligated
Could be an energy of fool,
Collective fool that is dictated
To do the right, as it was taught
But what seemed proper, fades with time
Appears another face of God
Unjustice gets a justify
The devil’s advocates have won
Concealed arrangement, sealed and signed
Was a conclusion, long foregone
And what seemed fair, turns out a lie
But as I crack the secret code
And enter in, I see the same
Dimmed room, as if it was foretold
To be repeated in the game.
Categories:
burglar, mystery, philosophy, political, power,
Form:
Rhyme