Best Buggery Poems

Once upon an ancient time, 
in long gone languid days, 
when distant misted myths bechanced
in lovely rhym'ed ways, 
when time was so much freer, 
less allotted to the minute, 
‘twas then the mighty Big Mac got the gherkin in it. 


The night was one made...

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Cranes fly miles 
During the winter 
Migrating birds 
Hoping to reach their destiny. 

Buzzards along the way 
Look for pigeons 
That seek to feasts and 
long legged buzzards 
search for pigeons 
Inside pigeon holes. 

Parrots adapt to our 
Surrounding 
But in the wild 
They search...

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I often talk about the biggest scare, that I have ever had,
Thinking back I have to say, I acted bloody mad,
And it didn’t get much better when I tried to rectify,
The cause by saving money thinking it would get me by.

Thankfully this major trauma had...

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Ted Weymouth rang me up to see, if I could do a job he had…
‘His trucks broken down’ he said, so I told Ted ‘I’d be glad
to do a favour for a mate’, he said. ‘It’s ‘Grubby’ Alcorn’s place.
A load of posts!’ Lord I’ve been...

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•to zimmer (v.t.) – to flash brilliantly with apparent blinding insightfulness, suggestive almost of a certain numinosity.**
•** numinous (adj) – of or pertaining to a numen***; arousing elevated or religious feelings.
•*** numen (n) – a deity; a divine**** power or spirit.
•**** divine (adj) – of...

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Their population on the swell,
The local yokels just couldn't tell,
Why their isolated town called Bugaree,
Red dust and drought for all to see,
Was inundated by a city slicker hell.

You see,it was a radio man from 2CE 
Using language bordering on thuggery,
Delivered such a terrible harangue,
Abusing listeners...

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We’re in a casual conversation on the point of shooting Ducks,
and how they’re not bad on the palate, as long as someone plucks
the flamin’ feathers off the birds, ‘cause by the time they’re bare,
we can’t be bothered cooking ‘em, so we leave the buggers there....

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I’ve always been a prankster and a lover of a joke.
I love to see the puzzled look on an unsuspecting bloke,
when he looks around and lifts his hat - totally confused.
Some take a joke for what it is and some are not amused.

So you’ve got...

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What's a matta Rick?
Get tired or sick
Bored of your board?
The chore you adored

Now left for a ghost
No more here to post
Left for all but dead
Did you lose your head?

Did ya fugeddaboutit?
can't get a "roundtuit?"
Left it high
Left it dry

Go outta your mind?
Get lost in time?
On to...

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Leprechaun

The Leprechaun sprung from the corn,
said "me name is Paddy,
Dontcha be looking all forlorn,
I aint a real gone baddie,"

"For me pot of gold, sell ya soul,
Needing it quite badly,"
"Egg sucking leaves me cold,
Specially when their addley,"

"Sign this deed ya little nasty weed,
Gives me ya souls...

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I could tell Nan’s getting bored with her knitting and crochet,  
and her interest has been waning with the C-W-A.
To think the help I offered had become a huge regret -
I introduced my Nan to games played on the Internet. 

On Sunday arvo’s we...

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I’ve got a mate named Marty who went through the school with me,
but like most teenage scholars gave the teachers buggery,
and when it came to penning words, Marty wasn’t very smart,
but put a brush into his hand then he’d produce the finest art. 

He would...

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INDIRECTLY oops, 
we are linked subsconciously,
 to every other bloody family tree,
 including ye n me...
WE want ya well my sweet!!! 
put IT in retreat, 
regain the upper seat...
an stay up here with me, 
dis-ease to buggery...
let it be! Lord ...

Don Johnson...

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Nigerians’ most feared President 
And possible Hell-fire President
But rather My Bad Friend
I had to mourn his ***** end 
For the Cameroonian Presence in Bakassi
He beautifully dismissed as a heresy:
A subject of panicking intricacy
On his dining table chewable delicacy…

Save that his sit- tight anxiety
Was the damnedest...

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                         Mind Bound to form, 
        expressioning itself in expose, 
   ...

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