Tank Water

Ted Weymouth rang me up to see, if I could do a job he had…
‘His trucks broken down’ he said, so I told Ted ‘I’d be glad
to do a favour for a mate’, he said. ‘It’s ‘Grubby’ Alcorn’s place.
A load of posts!’ Lord I’ve been had…‘Grubby’s’ a real hard case.

‘Grubby’ lived out in the ‘back-blocks’, where the roads are bloody rough,
Ted had ‘conned’ this job for me to do, where I heard one trips enough.
It took me bloody hours. I reckon Ted’s enjoying this with mirth.
I broke a spring and so the trip, cost more than the job was worth.

We threw the posts off near a shed, from there ‘twas my desire,
to get to buggery out of here… I asked ‘Grub’ for some fencing wire
to wind ‘round the spring to hold it tight, praying to God it might
hold everything together, until I got home that night.

“Come inside and have a drink”, ‘Grubby’ beckoned ‘cross to me.
I looked him up and down then thought, ‘I don’t like what I see’.
‘Grubby’ looked like he had wallowed, with pigs beside their sties...
When I walked inside I’ve got to say, I got one ‘heck’ of a surprise.

Every dish was washed and packed away. The sink was spotless clean,
each cup hung upon their little hook, glasses sparkled with a sheen.
Flowers ‘Grubby’ picked stood in a vase, on a table-cloth embodied gold.
‘Grubby’ asked me if I wanted tea, or would I like something cold.

I felt much more at ease now, in this clean environment,
it seemed like chalk to cheese, from outside when I had spent
an hour’s work with ‘Grubby’, so I said, “I think you ‘oughta’
pour me out a nice cold drink of lemon cordial and water.”

I took a swig and puckered; the lemon tasted kind of *****.
My drink really wasn’t pleasant, more like a bad home beer.
Must be just my taste buds because the weathers fairly hot,
so I upended quick the ten ounce pot and drank the flamin’ lot.

I said to ‘Grubby’ “That’s average, I’ve not had cordial like that before.
Or could it be your water mate; do you pump it from a bore?”
“Nar” said ‘Grub’ “the water’s fine now, though a week ago was rank.
The taste is getting better since… I dragged the possum from the tank.”
Copyright © | Year Posted 2015

Poem

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

Beaufort Avatar
July 28, 2015 at 6:35 PM
You have a charming wit and wonderful story telling abilities. I am so impressed. There is nothing like a bit of culture. Thank-you for this.
Laurie Avatar
August 3, 2015 at 8:33 PM
Thank you for your kind comment Duke... this style of poetry is very popular at poets breakfasts that accompany country music festivals - thanks once again Duke - Lindsay
Williams Avatar
July 26, 2015 at 3:29 AM
Oh dear Lindsay, this kind of thing does happen in the country, specially on the back blocks. Funny original poem again Lindsay, you are such a prolific writer. Unlike the possum, someone with your creativity never reaches the bottom......kind regards to you & your family Lindsay......John
Laurie Avatar
August 3, 2015 at 8:29 PM
Hello John... oh yes, there are so many things that happen in the hands on world so the material for a poem will never run out. Its all about laughing at ourselves - regards John - Lindsay
Delaney Avatar
July 24, 2015 at 2:54 PM
Yes we used to check our tanks and filters often. Dead birds are another culprit. Thanks for your wonderful humour. Worth more than gold. SuZ
Laurie Avatar
August 3, 2015 at 8:22 PM
Hello Suzanne... it sort of makes me laugh how sanitized people have become now but nothing has really changed, its just kept out of sight and presented in a glitzy format. Farmers have some wonderful tales to tell - thanks Suzanne - Lindsay
Nunez Avatar
July 24, 2015 at 1:47 AM
lol! Lindsay! I eat snails, COOKED, not in it's final stage of decomposition! ugh! hahaha... AND when cooked, assumes a lovely French name...Gosh I just had lunch! Are you making me pay for my picking limerick where you had to leave your breakfast? hahaha...
Hunjeri Avatar
July 23, 2015 at 4:24 PM
So funny. You told it so well i felt like i was there.
Laurie Avatar
July 24, 2015 at 1:43 AM
G'day njeri... I'm glad you weren't there. It would have put you off drinking water for life - catch you soon njeri - Lindsay
Nunez Avatar
July 20, 2015 at 11:27 PM
Ugh! hahaha...ewww! lol! yuck! :-)))
Laurie Avatar
July 24, 2015 at 1:36 AM
Hello Kim... didn't you tell me that you ate snails. Don't you think they'd go down well with possum fermented water... my God, what am I thinking - thank you once again Kim - Lindsay
Pinet Avatar
July 20, 2015 at 11:12 AM
You tell a story with such freshness and color that it soon attaches itself to our reality and we take partial ownership of the emotions poured forth. Emile. #7
Laurie Avatar
July 24, 2015 at 1:33 AM
Thank you Emile for your comment which emphasises what I attempt to do in most of my humorous tales. This works exceptionally well when reciting to an audience who appear to be able to relate to many of the situations up until it all goes pear shaped at the finish - regards - Lindsay
Muideen Avatar
July 18, 2015 at 11:35 PM
Lol!!!! What an awesome write painted with vivid imagery and wise, love it this fascinating story Excellent write.......A.M.
Laurie Avatar
July 23, 2015 at 11:24 PM
G'day Afolabi... yes, it does paint a fairly basic picture of people going about normal daily business, but with a horrid ending to put you off water for life - thank you for your support Afolabi - Lindsay
Y. Avatar
July 18, 2015 at 9:01 PM
Lindsay, there's nothing like a good story. You penned a great story that was filled with humor.How was that drink? Lol. Great job. :-) Alexis
Laurie Avatar
July 23, 2015 at 11:21 PM
G'day Alexis... thank you for your comment. It was my friend Lester who discovered the possum with dismay and probably a week after it drowned. I dare say it was an off taste that had him checking the tank - it happened a while ago, but I still giggle when I think about it - thanks Alexis - Lindsay
Dietrich Avatar
July 18, 2015 at 8:42 PM
oh MY, you are such a story teller, Lindsay. OH MY, you should write a book!!
Laurie Avatar
July 23, 2015 at 11:16 PM
Hello Andrea... like many on this site, I do like to tell a yarn with a bit of poetic licence, and oh... I never let the truth get in the way of making a story a little bit better - thanks Andrea - Lindsay
Ellison Avatar
July 18, 2015 at 7:31 AM
I have missing out on your hilarious Aussie humour!!! My bad... will try to make up for it! As Jan said... great ending! - Jack
Laurie Avatar
July 23, 2015 at 11:09 PM
Ah young Jack... its a true ending Jack. Of course I used poetic licence to get there though. Lester organized a possum count every night after this, and if one was missing... the family drank beer until the tank was checked in the morning - thanks mate - Lindsay
Ellison Avatar
July 18, 2015 at 7:32 AM
I have BEEN missing out... duh
Allison Avatar
July 18, 2015 at 4:59 AM
simply hilarious Lindsay - the ending had a great twist:-) hugs Jan xx7
Laurie Avatar
July 23, 2015 at 11:04 PM
I laughed too when my friend Lester was telling me about his misfortune as he winced. I couldn't stop giggling and so this poem came out it. Once possums get in your house, anything can happen - thank you Jan - Lindsay
Delaney Avatar
July 18, 2015 at 12:54 AM
Oh my gosh! Lindsay: What a surprise ending. I do enjoy reading your stories. Thanks for the lovely colloquial tale. Good on you, SuZ
Delaney Avatar
July 24, 2015 at 12:41 PM
Yes we used to check our tanks and filters often. Dead birds are another culprit. Thanks for your wonderful humour. Worth more than gold. SuZ
Laurie Avatar
July 23, 2015 at 11:01 PM
G'day Suzanne... thank you for your encouraging comment Suzanne. A workmate who lived on a farm with only tank water suffered this fate and immediately I could see a poem in it - catch you soon Suzanne - Lindsay
Get a Premium Membership
Turn off ads, get more exposure for your poetry, and get more features with a Premium Membership.
Book: Diverse Voices: The Poetry of Human Rights and the Pursuit of Peace