Best Budweiser Poems
One
Chloee? Yes Reginald!
Why do they call us Dachshunds, Wiener Dogs?
Maybe they call you a Wiener Reginald!
You cut me off at the legs with that one Chloee!
Two
Chloee? Yes Reginald! Have you ever smelled mothballs.
No Reginald it's too difficult to spread their tiny legs.
My that was a low blow Chloee. You wish Reginald, you wish!
Three
Reginald? Yes Chloee! I was at the park with my owner playing
Frisbee. As I watched the Frisbee I wondered why it was getting
bigger and bigger as it came towards me than it hit me.
Four
Chloee? Yes Reginald!
I was just lying down in the park the other day watching a Labrador
chasing his tail an' I thought ain't that amazing how easily amused
Labradors are! Then I realized I was watching the Labrador chase his tail.
Five
Reginald? Yes Chloee! I've written a poem it goes like this.
"Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme. And some don't!"
Six
Chloee? Yes Reginald! I was at a restaurant, I ordered a chicken sandwich,
but I don’t think the waitress understood me. Because she said,
“How would you like your eggs?” So I tried to answer her anyhow. I said,
“Incubated! And then raised, and then beheaded, and then plucked,
and then cut up, and then put onto a grill, and then put onto a bun.
Damn! It’s gonna take a while. I don’t have time. Scrambled!”
The Finale
A Dachshund walks under a bar. I mean walks into a bar. Goes to the
bar and sits down. Asks the bartender "can I have a Budweiser Light
Beer" the bartender serves him and informs him "that will be seven dollars".
The Dachshund pays. The bartender keeps looking at the Dachshund.
Finally the Dachshund yells "What?" The bartender explains "no I'm
sorry we just never get Dachshunds in this bar." The Dachshund replies
"I'm not surprised...at seven dollars for a beer..."
The Encore
Reginald? Yes Chloee! When you cut your nails, do you file them?
Yes Chloee as a matter of fact I do! Pity! I just throw mine out!
Curtains!
01~10~2015
Sponsor: rob carmack
Contest: Daschunds
Categories:
budweiser, funny, humor, humorous, roses
Form:
Burlesque
You’re wasting your weekends on electronic lovers,
They float by like ghosts on the screen,
You’re kissing Clark Gable and you waltz Fred Astaire
In re-runs you’ve already seen.
You’re changing the stations—you change your emotions—
From channel to channel in vain.
The six o’clock news man is laughing at you,
And the talk show believes you’re insane.
Your television set don’t love you, darlin’
So how come you watch it from bed?
Your television set don’t love you, darlin’,
So why don’t you love me instead?
Down at the tavern my Budweiser loves me,
There’s a TV set over the bar,
And the girl on the screen, she reminds me of you,
So I get up and go to my car.
I drive through the night and the windshield wipers
Remove all the rain from the glass—
It’s like a wide screen, and our show’s off the air…
Our soap opera just didn’t last…
Categories:
budweiser, angst, lost love, lovelove,
Form:
Verse
(*Note- I suggest you read this with a boom box going in your head. Can you dig it?)
Yo,
Now gather round, my brothers ,settle down while I regale ya
with some tales about my lady from the kingdom Animalia,
and it's gonna take a while ,so listen up, coz there's a lotta
things I think you need to know about the Phylum Arthropoda.
Now, mah baby's got some colour and she's lookin' really cute
with her wings so finely tailored that you'd never find a suit
with such material so delicate and colours that just gleam
if you checked out what they sell in Rubenstein's in New Orleans.
Well, her six legs work together in a symphony of class
as from head down through her thorax she can really shake some ass,
though their fronts are smooth and silky, on her calves they're real spikey
food receptors on her feet so she ain't never wearing Nikes.
All the same she gives good lurvin', such a passionate embrace
though I wasn't too impressed first time I ever saw her face.
With her two big baby blues (and they're real mothers) compound eyes
I can never tell if she is checking out some other guys
and I'm careful when we kiss, as she has got one big proboscis
gotta make sure that ahm well away when every time she flosses.
Never saw her family photos and it's somethin' ah should miss
'coz her pupae was damn ugly and so was her Chrysalis.
Though we're going steady now I couldn't marry if I wanna
'coz she says in six month's time that she is going to be be a gonner.
And she only drinks from puddles, for the salts that appetize her
so I sit and watch and crack mahself a bottle of Budweiser.
Well I thank yo all for hearing me and listening to mah song
and I know to some my love affair may seem just slightly wrong
but I caught her eye and she moved in with just her heart to guide her
and I fell for her and we began to- hold on...DAMN! A SPIDER!!!
4th December 2015
For contest 'Butterflies- men only, sponsored by Skat A and Poet Destroyer A
Categories:
budweiser, butterfly, , cute,
Form:
Rhyme
This is the best beer I've ever had.
Yes, The best beer I've ever had.
No beer is really bad, but
This is the best beer I’ve ever had.
Beer’s invention was accidental I’m told.
Something about stored grain and mold.
Before the Sphinx, beer was made and sold;
And at times, more valuable than gold.
Drank my first beer while serving Uncle Sam.
Got drunk on ‘33' in Saigon, Vietnam.
By 19, I was a soldier becoming a man;
So, I drank ‘til I didn’t give a damn.
Since then, I’ve travelled the world all around;
And tasted each brew that I’ve found.
Most are named for people, animals or towns;
And are glorious shades of gold, red or brown.
There are pilsners, lagers and ales
Swilled from bottles, cans, mugs…even pails.
If you want to get drunk, you can’t fail.
Drink too much, you may end up in jail.
Drank Stegmaier in old Scranton town.
Folks bragged it was the "best around“.
I tried their Golden, their Porter, their Brown;
And I must say, their judgement is sound.
In Ireland, the Guinness is Stout.
‘Tis a brew those Micks can’t live without.
In the pubs, they all sing and shout;
Until, eventually, they're all drunken louts.
In old Germany, there are too many to choose.
Every Berg and Stein make their own brews.
I tried each one on the Rhine river cruise.
So many to taste. How could I lose?
I enjoyed Sapporo in Tokyo, Japan;
Served by a Geisha at the wave of my hand.
The Singh Hai in Bangkok was grand,
As was the Ninkasi in ancient Tehran.
Tried a lager called Foster’s down under.
Drank too many. My head pounded like thunder.
They say Foster's once laid Dundee asunder;
But they love it… though you may wonder.
Enjoyed Red Stripe on Jamaican shores
And each one tasted like more.
A local beauty I was hoping to score;
But next morning, my head was so sore.
Henry Hudson’s serves Budweiser Light.
It’s weak, so you can drink it all night.
Yes, it takes quite a bit to get “tight”;
But it’s cheap and that makes it alright.
Yes, beer is a beverage so grand,
One of God's greatest gifts to man.
When life gets too tough to stand,
Just open a chilled bottle or can.
This is the best beer I’ve ever had.
When I arrived I was down and quite sad;
After just two or three, life isn't so bad.
This is the best beer I’ve ever had.
Yes, the best beer I've ever had.
Categories:
budweiser, adventure, best friend, celebration,
Form:
Rhyme
There was a young girl named, Anheuser.
Wouldn't heed, when folks would advise her!
Her and Pabst, took a chance,
had a whirlwind romance,
and now they're both, sadder, Budweiser!
Categories:
budweiser, funny,
Form:
Limerick
Bring back blonde babes
with big boobs and butts,
showing bare bellies, wearing black and brown boots.
Because they get the bikers and big boys
to bring in big bucks buying bottles of
Budweiser and, blue ribbon beer,
Besides the booze and beef burgers
on buns with bacon and baked beans
for brunch while they watch and
bet on baseball games or boxing matches.as
they banter with their buddies at the bar
or in the booths and bathroom.
The jukebox plays Blondie, Blues brothers
big Bands, Bono, Bananarama, Brandi, Billy Ray Cyrus.
Benny King., Backstreet boys., Beach Boys, Billy Idol
Bobby Brown, and so much more
at Big Busty Babes Bar
Bring your best buddies with you to
Big Busty babe's bar. Down on Broadway and Bakers Boulevards
Near Buster's Barbecue and Bobby's Billiards and Bank of America.
Bonnie J Hollywood-Cutts
Categories:
budweiser, funny, happy, humor, silly,
Form:
Alliteration
AS IT IS
I am going up the ladder of life.
Killing all the blow flies in sight.
Knocking down the spider webs as I sing to myself.
I am feeling so alive.
I am going to put up new shelves.
I am thinking about doing something real.
Like getting high and liking the environment I am in while I drink me a Budweiser.
I just want me a quite place to relax in outer space.
This may just be a mood swing.
A thing and a physicality all as one and the sun is shining.
Life is the brightest gleam.
Will it last is overpowering and is questioning me.
What a metaphor.
I am singing like a songbird.
All made from how I feel.
I am on top of the world as it is.
With my dust mop I clean.
Dwelling and thriving within, its affinity and more than a ascertain well-being.
I am strutted to achieve, to be visionary, and to dream.
It is as a universal scheme.
Sashaying and I am almost done.
Opening the curtains... embracing the sun.
The joy stratagems silently.
I am that personification embodied.
As it is, the world is a wonderful place to be within.
As it is, I sing for the joy it gives.
As it is, As it is, As it is...
|Written October 19, 2015!|
Categories:
budweiser, appreciation, culture, future, image,
Form:
Rhyme
Free me Jesus
I can’t feel my legs
My hands are trembling
Free me Jesus
I just need a drink
And I’ll be ok
Free me Jesus
I can’t drink the wine
And take the bread
Free me Jesus
My wife loves me so
But she don’t understand
Free me Jesus
I swear I believe
But Jack Daniels is 80 proof
Free me Jesus
I love you so
But Budweiser goes down so slow
Free me Jesus
Coffee in hand
Cigarette to go
Free me Jesus
There’s no place to go
There’s no one to know
Free me Jesus
Just 12 steps from here
I stumble on the first
And fall on the second
Free me Jesus….
Categories:
budweiser, addiction,
Form:
Free verse
There’s a former weight lifter named Greg
Who’d like to show off his abs to Peg
‘Cept he’s now a drunk hack
So his treasured six pack
Now looks more like a Budweiser keg
Categories:
budweiser, desire, drink, hilarious,
Form:
Limerick
From many connoisseurs, it has drawn mighty cheers.
This has earned the title of “The King of Beers”.
Drinkers have enjoyed its tasted for many years.
In numerous places, this beer is number one.
The flavorful brew has been rated second to none.
Where quality is concerned, it has established the benchmark.
A team of Clydesdale horses remains its trademark.
The company’s history is long and glorious.
The corporate headquarters is located in St. Louis.
Even during the brief period of prohibition,
the firm had never relinquished its top position.
Its status as an American beer is now in doubt.
To a Belgian company, they sold themselves out.
Categories:
budweiser, business,
Form:
Rhyme
Too blind to play baseball
Too soft for football
Too slow for basketball
No future in sports at all
Those who can't do, teach
Those who can't teach, announce
He broadcast games for the White Sox and Cubs
When he wasn't out tapping a keg in a pub...
A microphone in one hand
A can of Bud in the other
Harry Caray, the fans' favorite
Every beer guzzler's brother
_______________________________________
*Budweiser Beer
Categories:
budweiser, baseball, drink, games, people,
Form:
Ode
People packed like sardine cans.
Lawn chairs, coolers, beer in hand.
Hot dogs, pizza, fries galore.
The crowd cheers loud, when the engines roar.
Dirt and car smoke, fills the air.
As I sit and watch from my earthen chair.
And nothing gives me quite a thrill,
Then to watch it all, atop Budweiser Hill
Categories:
budweiser, adventure
Form:
Couplet
when I was drinking
Budweiser best beer in town
and anywhere else
Categories:
budweiser, memory,
Form:
Senryu
Super Bowl LI Hype Rocks Houston And Viewers
Superbowl LI promises to be one helluva game
With the Patriots and Falcons vying for championship claim
Houston will stage the uplift off this Sunday, February 5th
As a global audience watches the fireworks on the field rift
QB's Brady of the Patriots and Ryan of the Falcons square off
On the field as field generals igniting the rockets to blastoff
With head coaches of the respectful teams inch to lighting the fuses
Belichick of the PATS and Quinn of the Falcons also threw darts to amuse
Pregame banter to wit, Belichick said the Falcons never beat us
Answered by the Falcons saying stop throwing us under the bus
To the fans perspective let's get this baby settled on the field
With Falcon's top offense versus the PATS top defense, let's see who wields
As much as the fireworks on the field shadows the game
It will be the commercials and halftime-show heightening the flame
Lady Gaga and her Tiffany brand headline the halftime show
As the Budweiser, Skittles, Snickers, Buick ads to name a few try to woe
Who ever knows the outcome of this game should be in Vegas
But it's fun to listening to fans proclaiming which team is the greatest
One thing for sure the day should be festive of good cheer and food
As the rites of passage, Superbowl, is television's most viewed
To the winners, million steps they be dancing in the moon light
And to the losers, millions of tears drowning their sorrows of slight
This should be a fun game to see if the PATS, being top layers
Can fiend off the the Falcons, yearning to be dragon slayers
connie pachecho
2/1/17
Categories:
budweiser, football, perspective, poems,
Form:
Rhyme
So much time we have wasted here on Earth,
Never living up to the expectations given at birth.
Sitting around all day, just watching the time pass.
Because all you are to that university is a $ sitting in class.
We have the tools to do anything we please.
Countless doors to open, as God has given us the keys.
But we'd rather sit on Netflix binge watching our favorite TV shows.
Weekend after weekend you waste away as the Budweiser flows.
Get out and explore before you're grown and too late.
Soon you'll be old, and have nothing to look back and appreciate.
The clock is ticking, and time waits for no one.
Now go break some rules, get into trouble, and have some real fun.
Categories:
budweiser, adventure, encouraging, fun, growing
Form:
Carpe Diem