Best Booger Poems
Silliness doesn't run in my family, it gallops
If you wanna be slim like Bugs Bunny, eat raw carrots
Other stuff you can do
Sneezing? A calorie or two
So pick out that booger before you blow a gasket
I ain't afraid of no ghost, friend,
You can bet your bottom dollar
I'm an expert on ghosts of men -
I was born in Booger Holler.
Now the Holler's a mile across
And the length is about the same
The trees all drip with Spanish Moss,
The woods are all empty of game
Our haunting ghost was named Ol' Jake
A Reb who'd come home from the war
He found his bride down by the lake
Skinned and eat by a grizzly b'ar
Now Jake blamed everyone around
As he just went slowly insane
He cussed an' wept and stomped the ground
An' told 'em all her name was Jane
He hung himself in a Live Oak tree
An' swore he'd haunt this hated home
So that's the way my Pa told me -
The ghost we knew began to roam
The Holler was haunted no doubt -
Moans and screams and wind all around
Now and then a laugh or a shout
Sometimes the feel of shaking ground
Well, that went on for thirty years
All us kids were no longer scared
Then we heard the ghost shed his tears
And were surprised that we all cared
The haunting stopped one dark cold night
The lonely ghost just seemed to rest
A wise old man spoke as he might
"Even Boogers get old, I guess."
June 3, 2016
For contest I Ain't Afraid Of No Ghosts, for Casarah Nance
Why his old head is so hollow you can see him think.
Onlyest time he ever makes any sense is when he takes to the drink.
And that don’t last too long caustit puts him right to sleep,
Kinda like me whenst I go to count’n them sheep.
Well old Booger never claimed to be the sharpest knife in the drawer,
Shoot he just now figgered out where he’s possed to sit when drivin de car.
He’s been want’n to get hitched but there ain’t no single kinfolk around,
And besides they gots to be some of the ugliest women I’ve found.
Well me and ole Boog went in to town, just kinda piddlin I guess,
When out front Langtry’s hardware stood this ole gal, and I think somebody
done shortchanged her on that dress.
Why old Booger said that wuz the pertiest thing he ever did saw.
Said he wuz gonna marry up with her and take her home to meet pa and maw.
Well old Booger started to put the move on this sweet little ole thing.
He asked her right there on the spot, said I’ll even buy you one of those
wedding rings.
Well she turned him down and it made poor ole Booger cry.
She told him she wuz a transvestite that wuz the reason why.
Well poor ole Booger wuz kinda like me
He didn’t know she wuz a he well this( he-she) fooled him and me.
Well we headed on back cause our luck done went sour.
And besides it wuz getting onwards of the drinkin hour.
Should you ever find your way back here in these hills.
Bring your on jug and have it filled at one of our local stills.
Shine down here the best you’ll ever find.
Just be careful of the women some of em are the funny kind.
I am a booger
I live inside your nose
sometimes I'm runny
other times bacteria grows
I am a booger
you need to set me free
Stick me under the desk
just don't let anyone see
If you think I'm being funny
I'm not; I'm transparent
you should always pick your boogers
just not Infront of a parent.
With one hand on my thigh
I realize it's time
To pick
My booger
At night all alone
I pick.
My boogers.
And when one hangs low.
I stop
And think
About my life...
2 people see two things wrong with too.
Being involved.
We stop
And scratch our heads.
And when we are deep
In thought
We realize
That
Our fingers
Are on
Our boogers.