Best Badger Poems
A hibernating badger awoke
And said, "If this is Spring it's a joke,
"This is no fun,
"I can't see the sun."
And went back to sleep as he spoke.
Categories:
badger, humor, sleep, spring,
Form:
Limerick
>I sent the following poem to my old employers. The RSPCA A year ago as the Badger was being exterminated in certain areas. Unfortunately, now it is in even more so I hope you do not mind if I share this poem with you.
FAREWELL MY BADGER FRIEND
All this land was ours once, oh so long ago.
Then man bought his cattle in, to share our pasture so.
Now they want to remove us, by killing us you see.
To try and eradicate the disease they call TB.
A nasty disease is TB of that there is no doubt.
But when I was here alone, there was none about.
So humans must have brought it, on a cow or two.
Now I’ve got to pay, for the mistakes you do.
So as you kill me and my friends, humanely I hope so.
I really hope it’s worth it, and that TB does go.
Be sad when you see my pasture where I did belong.
Bare of all the baggers who have all now gone.
Perhaps you will not kill us all, but I expect you will.
If not I hope I escape, I’ll really try I will.
But as you humans are so wise, or so they say you are.
Why don’t you vaccinate your cows, and leave us where we are.
You see I am TB free there is no harm in us.
And if you vaccinate your cows, they can live with us.
Spread the word my friends, if you do agree.
It’s better to save wildlife, than kill it off you see.
Well that is just the point, I really am so vexed.
For when the Badger's gone, who will be the next.
Please feel free to use the above poem as you wish, it’s too late for many Badgers but who knows if enough public support can be obtained perhaps the powers that be might reconsider their decision. It seems strange to me that so much interest can be shown of wild animals now extinct from bygone ages that here in the 21st Century man is hell bent on destroying a species, the mind boggles.<
Categories:
badger, animal, conflict, crazy, death
Form:
Elegy
Oh, the leaves are liquid yellow
As we ride on through Custer Park,
In search of that old Badger Hole:
Home of the poet Badger Clark.
Yes, we come to step back in time—
It’s a historic rule of thumb—
Where the city does not crowd you,
And man can be scattered some.
The old cabin now sits empty—
A last poetic monument—
Proving that words can still live on
Where men have lived and come and went.
Categories:
badger, art, cowboy-western, death, introspection,
Form:
Cowboy Poetry
A Honey Badger's on the prowl....
"Don't mind if I do help myself
With some honey as you guys swarm me
Loudly buzz about my ears, and incessantly sting me
You're all upset that I'm trespassing? Deal with it
Stay mad. You can't drive me off the nest. Sure, I'll leave...
After I satisfy sweet tooth. After all, I'm a Honey Badger!
Keep on buzzing, and stinging, you angry bees
I will not go deaf, and your stings don't bother me a bit"
The next day....
"Hey there, Black Mamba, I see you up that tree!
And guess what? I'm coming for ya...and we'll duel!
I don't care how big, how long, or how fast you are
You will not slither away from me!
You'll hiss, and spit, and strike with no success...
I'm immune to your poison. You will concede defeat
To me. You are my prey, my dinner. Watch me...
Bite your head off and eat you alive!"
Date written: 06/22/2019
Categories:
badger, animal, humor, imagery, nature,
Form:
Personification
uninvited guest
sweet tooth must be satisfied ~
bee stings no problem
Wild Animal Haiku Poetry Contest
Sponsored by Tania Kitchin
Date written: 04/16/2022
Categories:
badger, animal,
Form:
Haiku
Went to the Summer Exhibition at the Royal Academy today. Really inspiring. However...(sorry, Tracey, you win some, you lose some)
I liked Tracey Emin's bed
Was partial to the tent thing, too
But what's with the badger?
Is it dead?
And isn't that owl
Too s**t for the loo?
by Gail
Categories:
badger, animal, appreciation, art, betrayal,
Form:
Light Verse
Once there was this badger;
he was really selfish!
He hated doing merger
in hunting for fish.
One time he found a muffin,
and hid inside a coffin.
He had a delightful munch,
enjoying his early lunch.
He was so satisfied that he slept;
shadows of the sunset soon crept.
"Good evening" he heard from outside;
"How are you getting on inside?"
Slowly the coffin lid was open;
the badger's fright was sudden!
It was a face of a vampire he saw;
quickly the badger was on his toe.
The fanged being was very worried;
the coffin belonged to his friend, Alfred.
So fast and far away he ran,
afraid of being the vampire's fun.
He had to look for another hiding place to eat,
far away from places where vampires meet.
Categories:
badger, animal, fantasy, funny, humor,
Form:
Couplet
Badger had a peaceful evening planned, no lie or ruse.
Sitting by the fire, imbibing on a spot of beetle juice.
He was relaxing in the most comfortable, darling way.
When a fluttering in the room made hairs on his arms say….
What is going on? Who is here in my house?
He knew it could not be a rabbit, cat, horse or a mouse.
It was something with wings, not large, vole-sized at the most.
Ooohhhh Ooohhhh wailed a voice, it was from a friendly ghost.
Why are you here? The badger asked. Why are you haunting me?
The ghost laughed with a tinkle, she was named Miss Tee Hee.
I thought you needed company. Let’s play charades, Mr. Bun.
This annoyance would have been worse if she had been less fun.
Categories:
badger, 1st grade, 2nd grade,
Form:
Rhyme
Office manager Mr. Honey Badger called his administrative assistant Mr. Bloodhound into the office. Honey badger was extremely mad because he looked out of his office window and could see that the folks in the office were whispering and snickering and not working. Honey Badger told Bloodhound to go out and sniff out what was going on.
It seems that the accountant, Mr. Rooster, and the receptionist, Miss Hyena were having a torrid affair. Well, Mr. Rooster was crowing about it and Miss Hyena was laughing about his performance. And to top it all off, Mrs. Mockingbird was repeating everything she heard all around the office.
Pick a Title, Vol. 6, Personification Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Edward Ibeh
6/26/19
Categories:
badger, anger, animal, emotions, love,
Form:
Personification
Badger Daddy Dork got the bill from the stork.
His temper hit the top of his head with a pow.
Badger Mommy unwrapped the baby and said wow!
Pay the stork whatever he wants, she said to Dork.
You are so easy! Dork said to his smitten wife.
It is a girl this time, she said, what a great life.
The baby looked at Dork and said “hi daddy!”
He said “She is as cute as any badger could be!
Categories:
badger, 4th grade, 5th grade,
Form:
Rhyme
Office manager Mr. Honey Badger called his administrative assistant Mr. Bloodhound into the office. Honey badger was extremely mad because he looked out of his office window and could see that the employees in the office were whispering and snickering and not working. Honey Badger told Bloodhound to go out and sniff out what was going on.
It seems that the accountant, Mr. Rooster, and the receptionist, Miss Hyena were having a torrid love affair. Well, Mr. Rooster was crowing about it and Miss Hyena was laughing about his performance. And to top it all off, Mrs. Mockingbird was repeating everything she heard all around the office.
Well Mr. Honey Badger called them all into the office and sent them to see Mrs. Lion, the HR manager. Mrs. Lion told them in no uncertain terms that if they failed to cease their unprofessional activities at work they would not be returning after lunch.
Mr. Honey Badger never had another problem with his employees.
Categories:
badger, animal,
Form:
Prose
FEARFULLY I AM DIZZY As I stand up to the honey badger--
Sprinkling fluorescent muted dots of racing shadows,
Fatefully anxieties hypocrisies dilemmas,
As vertigo swirls away constants fathoms.
"I stand up to the honey badger"
“I fear not the bee stings but run from the honey the badger brings”
---James Edward Lee Sr.
1/19/19
Categories:
badger, appreciation, fear,
Form:
Rhyme
badger Santa was the head of the Winter Mafia
godfather of the forest in non-Santa town
animals came to kiss the ring
asked for favors
he was the boss
they brought offerings
hoping it would be enough
badger Santa ran for president
he had the worst character traits
but the animals were afraid to not vote for him
afraid of repercussions
history perpetually repeats itself, said the historians
Categories:
badger, humorous,
Form:
Light Verse
Honeyguide bird has a special pal
He teams up with a honey badger gal
Honeyguide finds bee’s hive and makes a call
Alerting honey badger, his partner, a friendly doll
Badger eats the sap, honeyguide bird eats the wax
This is just one of a bunch of interesting facts
Categories:
badger, 10th grade, 5th grade,
Form:
Rhyme
Hildy Honey Badger was mad as unleavened beer hops
Alice her American Cousin said that she was tops
How dare you she said, and you are a carnivore too!
The bells I am said Alice. I’m an omnivore like you!
They decided not to speak any more that day on Zoom.
Hildy went around slapping everyone else in the room.
What did we do? They asked, astounded at her action.
I am angry with my cousin. Slapping gives me satisfaction!
Next Hildy got mad at Wilma Weasel, a distant Aunt.
So she slammed the fish out of their tank and kicked a plant.
The rest of the badgers ran out, giving her plenty of space.
By supper she had thrown up a hundred earth worms, a disgrace.
Is it safe to come back? Asked her neighbor, anteater Girdle.
I doubt it, the rest of them said and we are cooking a turtle.
They stayed out of the moorlands for a day and a night.
While Hildy Honey Badger destroyed every dhramned thing in sight.
Categories:
badger, 4th grade, 5th grade,
Form:
Rhyme