Best Awards Poems
It’s fun to watch Awards shows,
Though they’re shallow and they’re trite –
Stars all gathering together
For an ego-boosting night.
Yet the SAG Awards montages
Showing actors at their start
Captured images of younger days
That set the show apart.
From childhood roles and little parts
In soaps or SVU,
We got to see performers
When their jobs were spanking new.
The lucky ones who have careers
Which grow, improve and last
Might be mortified or tickled by
These glimpses of the past.
The Darwin Awards are a posthumous honor, recognizing those who have improved the human gene pool by removing themselves from it by their own foolish actions.
In a robbery way out in Long Beach
Elliot's handgun misfired in the breech
Down the barrel he took
A quite scatterbrained look
Then made it more than a figure of speech
There was a foolish fellow named Gary
Who gulped gasoline over near Cary
The fuel made him gag
So he fired up a ***
And now smokes in the state mortuary
"Look, no helmet!" Phil proudly decried
In the headgear disobedience ride
He stood for his rights
Then put out his lights
When he flew off his Electra Glide
An impatient Korean got miffed
And was ramming the doors of the lift
Then went a bit daft
When he got the shaft
But his ride to the bottom was swift
References:
http://jdgroover.wordpress.com/2013/08/20/the-2013-darwin-awards-are-out/
http://www.darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2012-03.html
http://www.darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2011-03.html
http://www.darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2010.html
school awards
worthless garbage that set kids
apart from their peers
applause when come up on stage
for any prize but poetry
Ladies and gentleman
Welcome to the 2014 Academy awards for poets
Your hosts this year, are
Tom Hanks, Lord Byron, Lady gaga, Popeye and Edgar Allen Poe
With no further adieu, we shall proceed
This years nominations, for best Poet of the year
Arthur Vaso
And the winner is!!!! Arthur Vaso
Applause and standing ovations (to be repeated)
This years nominations for best Dramatic Poet!!
Arthur Vaso
And the winner is!!!! Arthur Vaso
This years nominations for best comedic Poet
Arthur Vaso
And the winner is!!!! Arthur vaso
This years nominations for best artistic Poet
Arthur Vaso
And the winner is!!!! Arthur Vaso
This years nominations for best Poem made into a movie
Arthur Vaso
And the winner is!!!! Arthur Vaso
This years nominations for best Poem made into a TV Series
Arthur Vaso
And the winner is!!!! Arthur Vaso
This years nominations for best supporting Poet
Arthur Vaso
And the winner is!!!! Arthur Vaso
Wake up, wake up, wake up,
Oh hi there honey, I must have fallen asleep
I was dreaming
I gathered so, you were smiling ear to ear in your sleep
What pray tell where you dreamimg of?
Oh I was dreaming of you my dear!
ravages of war
not about heroism. . .
through eyes of schoolboys
Copyright © 2018 by Mark Toney. All rights reserved.
First published 2018 in Hollywood Haiku via wattpad.com
Eagles Greatest Hits
Most platinum certificates
My first love
is a whore
but i want her back
because she always had my back
when everyone
threw me back, barked, nagged disappeared
continuously on me
just because,
i try and cry to make them understand how i feel
about them
My first love
is a whore
but i want her back
because the love apple, love bite, and her loving
kindness,
makes me lovesick,
and unloved to other love birds, that promiscuously
convey my way,
to convict my heart.
My first love
Is a whore
But I want her back
because she has not false me
but she has inherently taken me the way I am
So I am also readily convinced
to take her the way she is
into my love life
My first love
Is a whore
But I want her back
for I now known
that those whom I took as the goal keepers of my
life 'my friends'
Imprisoned my affections for my first love,
overstretched my suspicion,
and tore my first love's glossy fondness, into
unscrupulous odiousness
My first love
Is a whore
but I will become a fishmonger
Just to fishnet her back into my life,
because I truly want back my first love
even if she is going to come back without her love,
but with her heart
that will serve
Just to see and be with her again
Awards and Recognition
They patted selves on their very own back;
They do have all things which we will lack;
Am so sore,
We are poor,
Live in towers while we survive in a shack.
Many things medals and awards are about;
Who is the one who can give the most out;
Never sure,
Or can endure;
In whole system we do have much doubt.
People are upset like a boiling over kettle;
May meddle with system regarding medal;
Should correct,
Need for respect,
And this subject we should start to settle.
This could also apply to gerrymandering.
A new battle has become part of the game plan.
Who can give out the most awards and medals?
My company and the commander looks the best
when he gives out the most medals and awards.
Here is what I did so I could make mockery of
the system.
I had prepared my own request for the Army
Commendation Medal for my ownself. We were
in the final formation at Annual Training. The
actual Washington Army National Guard
Adjutant General was giving out awards. He
came up to me and was in the process of giving
me my award. He started reading the narrative.
He was about half the way through with the
narrative. He stopped and with a big smile said
that no one else in the world could have written
and prepared this other than me. The whole
Battalion broke out laughing. That was the most
meaningful experience I ever had in my carreer.
This is all absolutely true and correct. I had been
preparing awards for soldiers for over 20 years,
and this was a reflectiob of it.
James Thomas Horn
Personnel Administrator
Company C 3d Battalion 161st Infantry Mechanized
Washington Army National Guard (WAARNG)
17230 NE 95th
Redmond, WA 98052-3226
It is no longer in existance. WAARNG headquarters
is about three miles away from the AMTRAK Train
crash in Dupont, Washington. This is the longest
entry I have ever made. Characters remaining are
less than 700.
The dazzle in lights
A Broadway moment full of entertainment being a sight
Dance numbers to get the audience and TV Viewers in the mood
Dramatics that catch you off guard, but know how to soothe
The Tony Awards has everything to prove
It’s a talent night being on the move
Hand me my Tony Award
But the Tony Awards on Sunday will be a night
For me, my Great Uncle Eubie Blake who composed the music for “SHUFFLE ALONG” is up for a Tony
However, I promise I won’t be long
SHUFFLE ALONG has hit Broadway numerous times, but it was and still is pure acting and dancing that has kept the shuffle in being no rush
But a time in not being silent in a hush
I see in the background plenty of kissing and lots of mush
The cast simply said, “Lets take our time and let the music take us back as we move laid back”
Jazz had a swing and everyone in clubs were doing their thing
Oh Shuffle Along
Jazz with a pizzazz
A wonder being yonder
On June 12, Sunday, watch the Tony Awards on CBS 2
You too will be shuffling along too.
The Darwin Awards are based upon Darwin's theory
regarding the survival of the fittest and elimination of the weak.
The less intelligent die off and are eliminated from the gene pool
and it is to they that the Darwin Awards are awarded to.
The Darwin Awards are awarded tongue in cheek.
Awards are given to they who died due to their own stupidity.
Paul Stiller, 47, and his wife Bonnie
were bored just driving around at about 2 A.M.
so they lit a quarter stick of dynamite to toss out the window
just to see what would happen.
Someone should have told them that the window was closed.
and so to Paul and Bonnie Stiller this Darwin Award goes.
However, they don't truly qualify for a Darwin Award actually
because both of them miraculously survived their injuries,
but I'm sure that a Darwin Award will be granted in their future inevitably.
The GOP and NRA
Invite you all to come and play
For their wire hanger
Will vent the anger
For those who come another day!
Cicely Tyson, raised in Harlem, a model ‘til beckoned by Broadway
African American women’s strength and virtue, she went on the big screen to portray
A myriad of awards, the Presidential Medal of Freedom in two thousand, sixteen
Soon after, an honorary Academy Award, her memoir, Just as I Am, soon to be seen…
*Note to Sponsor: My poem is only 4 lines, as you asked, but no matter what font I tried, I could not get it down to four lines on this format, so my apologies.
February 12, 2022
The best
contest,
so fun,
is one
in which
you ditch
all thoughts
that lots
of time
with rhyme
and with
real pith
will get
you set
to win
with pen
a note
you wrote
to cheers
from peers
because
it does
stand out
about
a theme
you seem
to state
with weight
and grace;
to place
with verse
perverse
or terse
or worse
instead,
ahead
of none
save one,
the guy,
who by
mistake,
did make
a goof,
and poof!
DQ
anew.
Surprise,
surprise,
all tries,
first prize,
upsized
with fries!
Big lol,
that's all...
How can I
Love you?
Hate him?
Forget his part
in Your being
My Child?
A call to all cinephiles
A celebration
A gathering
Global storytellers and filmmakers
Making statements political and societal
Deep and inspirational
Crafted visual feasts
Poignant performances
Emotional masterpieces
Psychological journeys
Heart pounding thrillers
Internationally acclaimed documentaries
Each award winners in their own genre
Crowned achievements of artistry
Worthy of the silver screen
AP: Honorable Mention 2025
Submitted on January 6, 2021 for contest PODIUM PLACING PROMISE (5) sponsored by BRIAN STRAND - RANKED 3RD