Best Ads Poems
There's nothing like a TV ad.
A crass intrusion to a play,
It shreds my nerves and makes me mad.
And some of them are really bad
The products too – they'll make you pay;
There's nothing like a TV ad.
The use of animals is sad :
Chimps “talking”, drinking tea all day !
It shreds my nerves and makes me mad.
But Russian meerkats make me glad,
To buy insurance ? Well, I may –
There's nothing like a TV ad.
A bicycle pushed by a lad
Up cobbled street with brown loaf, aye,
It shreds my nerves and makes me mad.
And now I'll take a break, by gad,
A drink's the tonic, so they say,
There's nothing like a TV ad.
They shred my nerves and make me mad
Ego between stints -
narcissistic derelicts
scope the classifieds.
Vanity cracks masked mirrors -
Arrogance need not apply.
Pill ads on TV are so very shrill
They tend to make me nauseously ill
First they tout their benefits
Then warn you might hit the pits
Named in obits for swallowing their pill
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved
Single Jewish Blue Collar Worker--(33) Carpenter By Trade
Seeks roommates to share His Home
Race, religion, sex and age not important
Inquirers call--1-777-77J-ESUS
Loud TV ads drive me insane!
They're drilling right into my brain!
But, hey! This is cute;
There's a button called Mute!
-Do you get it or shall I explain?
Once upon a time not that long ago,
people used newspaper ads to find love;
they were very creative in their wording,
making themselves sound so dreamy.
Now we have dating sites for that,
yes, on the internet love can be found;
it is "the last call for lonely hearts" it seems,
as the bar scene is not the best idea.
So meeting strangers for coffee is now in,
but not much has changed in reality;
from the days of lonely heart ads in papers,
the writer still makes themselves dreamy.
I tried it once 'cause like many I get lonely,
but the man was not as advertised on line;
first of all his picture was twenty years ago.
when did he not think I would notice that !
He was friendly just not lover material,
so, I came home and deleted my profile;
this lonely heart is just going to have to find,
prince charming the old-fashioned way.
_____________________
November 8, 2019
Poetry/Verse/Lonely Hearts Ads
Copyright Protected, ID 19-1194-676-02
All Rights Reserved. Written under Pseudonym.
Written for the contest, Last Call For Lonely Hearts
sponsor, Line Gauthier
First Place
Look what you found in the classified ads,
while looking for that needle in a haystack
A Little Mermaid bassinet and baby stroller set
Puppies with adorable eyes, and vintage eight tracks ...
obsolete technology from another time
Just about anything you could ever want,
in the classified ads you can find
Are you in need of a maid,
or a babysitter perhaps
Do you need a tutor for a math class,
because your kid is getting a failing grade
What can you sell,
what can you buy
In a classified ad is where the answer lie
So much tradeable skills and merchandise
to sift through
So many bargains and lemons
waiting to entice you
Everything up for sell ain’t all good,
everything offered to buy ain’t all bad
You gotta be a wise discerner,
be an informed consumer market learner
When you’re dealing with a classified ad:
Somebody’s gonna buy something that will make them happy,
somebody’s gonna buy something that will make them sad
That’s just the way it is,
when it comes to curiously combing through the classified ads
Somebody’s gonna sell something that will make you happy,
somebody’s gonna sell something that will make you sad
That’s just the way it is,
when it comes to placing an eye-catching classified ad
When navigating through consumer traffic
in search of a needful thing
A classified ad is the perfect safari highway,
used by every bargain hunting king and queen
Tracked as prey in this digital age,
Logging on and pounced upon every day,
Cookies anointed as algorithmic sage.
Tired, exhausted, spending the wage,
No where to hide as they all say,
Tracked as prey in this digital age.
Trapped in this computerized cage,
Releasing steam, all the games I play,
Cookies anointed as algorithmic sage.
An ad here, an ad there: products all the rage,
All of our pathways designed in such array,
Tracked as prey in this digital age.
Wanton appetite of desires assuaged,
Presented to all as an endless buffet,
Cookies anointed as algorithmic sage.
How is it we are all gauged?
Sitting upon scales to be weighed,
Tracked as prey in this digital age,
Cookies anointed as algorithmic sage.
Sometimes I write such rambling stuff
And feel I've written enough
But I've got to restrict my rhyme
For who has the time
In this abbreviated age
To go beyond a page
To listen or read
Someone else's seed
Of thought
Which got
Magnified
And died
As it rambled on
And was gone?
Note : ADS -Attention Deficiency Syndrome
~13 Jun 2016~
Idiotic Ads
Idiotic Ads
When the eye gets rich and famous and receives his next million dollars charlax
the third will remove all the ads from the internet eye will pay everyone not to
advertise them before Christmas time or after Christmas time begins. When
commercials are done they will forget Santa's clause at the end. There will be
more patriotic ads Just imagine a moonlight nite fit for a ride on a horsey. The
axe deodorant can is sitting in the window of the tower. One if by land two if by the
sea and instead of two lanterns burning to warn people the boats was coming
Paul Revere rode to a midnite rendezvous with two minions and flirts spraying
his axe around them quite gleefully having the fun of his lifetime yearning for his
freedom. The axe people take note the tri-cornered hat could be tri-colored at that
and the oversize axe can says PR on the label please get the idea on the table
and let Santa go home until Christmas come we need no axe can with SC on the
label let Santa alone until Dec 23 and then let him sleep on Dec 26 at his home
the North Pole.
Since people have been placing “favorite dish” poems here on display,
I have seen McDonald’s ads for oatmeal many times each day.
They pop up to the right of my screen quite frequently.
They have been practically the only advertisements I can see.
The company has been pushing oatmeal with maple and fruit.
This is a breakfast choice with only two hundred and ninety calories to boot.
I don’t get out to McDonald’s to eat too many times.
I think I will stop here because I am just about out of rhymes.
Designer shoe ads
Magazine ridiculous
Overpriced items
Movie stars can afford them
Regular people cannot
Exorbitant price
Two thousand dollar blouses
Dresses? Do not ask
Money I will never have
Magazine ridiculous
I turn on my computer,
It leads me far away.
To all the places I need to go,
And some I wish to stay.
The pictures on the sides,
across, the bottom and the top…
They fill up the entire screen by any memes,
and, some I wish they’d stop…
Lovely dresses every color,
every shade and design.
They fit the perfect people
as if they were all “fine”?
Bright like butterflies,
drifting in the wind.
In styles for fairy people,
crisp, and sweet and thin...
The discounts they are measurable,
If half of all, is good?
So I place things in the box,
And wish, as if I really could! ($)
Not for me, don’t you see,
I…am trying hard.
Turn off the cart,
right from the start…
and keep your visa card.
I know they need commercials
To help pay their bills
But I get so tired
Of all the potions and pills
You can buy almost anything
With a credit card and phone
Just make the call and wait
They send it right to your home
You can get diamond rings
Ladies shirts and under things
You can get cowboy hats and boots
Kiddie cars with a horn that toots
You can get a Chinese kite
Stick up bulbs to give you light
You can get plants that bloom
And special sprays for any room
You can get gifts for the teen
Just find a video game he hasn't seen (good luck on that one)
You can get cookies, or a cake
Pills to help you sleep, or stay awake
You can get floor cleaners and waxes
Advice books to help you do your taxes
You can get sttuff to remove your hair
From lip, leg, and... oops, don't go there
It's so easy now to shop
Without ever going to a store
I'm sure you could add to my list
With maybe a million more
Honestly I can only read a few and when
I do my creative thinking flies right out
the window from illness weight loss pills
acne toe fungus to the dread of depressions
with flowers in the head seems to be watching
my every move some kind of artificial intelligence
waiting for thoughts to emerge I began scratching
my own head wondering if I have an entire
garden growing inside my skull like one
of those old toilet seats filled with weeds
pondering about the entrance way to old
man Miltons farm leading straight to an
abandoned bathtub covered with soil and
fresh cut daisies I like daisies I suppose
I'll plant a few outback until my writers
block ends stop that day dreaming gal
are you going mad no sir just a bit
drained after indulging in so many ads.